August 29, 2003
Mexican Car Seat
This has to be seen to be believed.
A gentleman from Mexico attempted to sneak into the U.S. disguised as a van seat.
Un-freakin'-believeable.
These People Are Fat And Crazy And Enjoy Donuts
from The State News
Anne Lewis, right and son Gregg Pullano sit near the Hot Light at the new Krispy Kreme, 2129 Lake Lansing Road, Tuesday morning. Lewis and Pullano stood in line for 13 days waiting for the store to open. It was the longest anyone has waited for a store opening in the franchise's history.
Gee, ya think they ate any of the donuts?
Going to Charleston
I am actually going on vacation this weekend, making a trip down to Charleston to visit Melissa's brother. We'll be staying with him and his wife, and also visiting Melissa's aunt and uncle. I will be dragging a computer along, as well, doing some editing during those quiet times on the trip.
I went to Charleston once, in 1989, when my sister, Wendy, lived in Columbia. The beach was cool, but there's nothing quite like visiting a plantation - complete with slave quarters - with your black brother-in-law. I guess I was too young to truly appreciate the oddness of our visit, and the fact that my brother-in-law, Roy, paid for all of us to get in. Only a tad less bizarre as having your Jewish brother-in-law pay for you to visit Auschwitz.
Mine is a unique family.
3 Kittens left!
We have three, free, ADORABLE male kittens left. They need homes, and I need my home back. If you, or anyone you know, wants one, we WILL deliver!
Thanks!
I'm A Busy Guy
Today Grady and I went to Atlanta to shoot footage for a project for Hartsfield Airport, then I came home and worked on the summer camp video project I'm doing freelance.
I'm also doing a handful of wedding videos for friends and family, piecing together the On The Other Hand DVD, writing material for our new show (more info later), and planning for several other jobs - both at PFilm, and outside of it.
Also, since the funds have yet to be amassed to buy my much-sought-after eMAC, I have been bidding on (and losing) several ebay auctions for G3 iMacs, on which I can run Premiere. If anybody is selling a G3 iMac, 600mhz, 40gig HD, cd-rw or combo, 512 megs of ram - let me know. I NEED to buy one yesterday. Borrowing equipment gets old fast.
August 27, 2003
Riverbend 2003 Memories
(from left to right: Me, A Jerk in a Cow Outfit, My Nephew Stephan)
Did anybody go to Riverbend this year? We went to see The Temptations, Leftover Salmon, and Up With The Joneses the night this photo was taken. By far the best night that I saw.
Other nights - Molly Hatchet, New Edition - were abysmal.
It's a funny little festival.
Why Men Don't Watch Women's Sports
There is an interesting article on ESPN's website talking about why men don't watch women's sports. I'd be interested in hearing your take on the article, the reasons you do/do not watch women's sports, and if you think anything is missing from their article.
August 26, 2003
Holiday Inn Towel Amnesty Day
I'm not making this up. Holiday Inn wants you to share your stories of towel stealing.
This Popcorn Is Dangerous
As I approach thirty, I am trying to watch what I eat. So, when I was grocery shopping yesterday, I picked up a box of Paul Newman's Pop's Corn.
This is organic popcorn, without all the preservatives, and though it was a tad bland, I enjoyed it.
THEN, the trouble came. About an hour after eating the popcorn, I felt extreme indigestion, like I had been punched in the stomach by Paul himself, or kinda like Cool Hand Luke must've felt after eating all those eggs.
Good lord, people! Don't buy this elitist product! Stick with the partially hydrogenated shortening, trans fatty acids, and saturated fat that makes those "other" brands so delicious. Your body will thank you for it.
August 25, 2003
Wesley Willis Dead
Most of you probably don't know who he was, but Wesley Willis has just died.
Wesley was a schizophrenic singer, who recorded a handful of very repetitive, yet amusing albums. He also once appeared on the Howard Stern show, and was one of the few people to leave Howard truly shocked.
My Dream Job: Grocery Store Chain Knockoff Product Namer
I would love to be the guy that grocery chains turn to to name their generic versions of name brand products. The idea came to me while seeing Food Lion's "Crispy Hexagons" being sold as the genric alternative to Crispix.
I mean, come on. That's just lazy.
Dr. Pepper has many incarnations: "Dr. Bob." "Dr. Perky." "Dr. Thunder."
Where do they get these names?
It's like they just write something down in the car, and don't check to see if anybody else has a better idea. I think they should check.
I would figure that this is one place where the grocery chains can exercise some creativity. People aren't buying the generic products because of the name, anyway, so let 'er rip! Shoppers will never notice.
Pepto Bismol could become "The Brown Frown Calm Down."
Doritos could become "Crack Dust Delights."
Spam could become "Jellied Pig Loaf."
You get the picture.
What about you? Any ideas for new names? I'll need some good ideas when I go in for my interview.
August 23, 2003
Don't Watch "Legally Blonde 2"
Seriously. It's bad. I only watched it last night because the doctor said it was a required part of my post-lobotomy therapy.
Man, was it bad.
August 22, 2003
Exploding Whale Video
This appears to be an older site, but it contains video footage of a news report about a dead, beached whale that had to be blown up in order to get rid of it. The plan, however, didn't work out quite as they intended.
Ghetto Prom Pic 3
I don't want to be accused of being racist with my incessant posting of these photos, but how can I NOT post them?
August 21, 2003
Red Sox Lose and Lose A Voice
As if the Red Sox recent losing ways weren't bad enough, I just found out that longtime Bosox broadcaster, Ken Coleman, passed away. He was 78.
Growing up in New England, I listened to hundreds of Red Sox games on the radio with my dad, and Ken Coleman was the voice of those broadcasts. He called many of the Sox great moments in my childhood, and it's truly a sad day in Beantown. HE is already missed. You can read his bio below.
from espn.com
Ken Coleman, a radio and television play-by-play voice of the Red Sox for 20 years, has died. He was 78. Coleman died at Jordan Hospital in Plymouth, Mass., hospital spokesman John Looney said Aug. 21. Coleman also was the voice of the Cleveland Indians and the NFL's Cleveland Browns from 1952-65, calling every touchdown Hall of Fame running back Jim Brown ever scored. He began his Red Sox career in 1966, broadcasting games on WHDH radio and television with partners Ned Martin and Mel Parnell. Coleman left the Red Sox in 1975 for Cincinnati, where he called play-by-play for the Reds through 1978. He returned to Boston in 1979, and stayed until his retirement in 1989.
OTOH DVD DETAILS
It should take a couple of months to put together, but here are the proposed contents of the "On The Other Hand" compilation DVD:
A Handy Handful of "On The Other Hand"
-Portions of all the better pieces, including: The Corrector, The Ed Pride "What(s) of The Week," The Bessie Smith Strut, Megs Valentines Shopping, Stu Stankus Profile, Megs Taste-Testing, The Yum-Yum Chinese Food Restaurant, Chris' Website Reviews, J. Adam's "How Not To Be An Idiot," Bill's Summer Vacation, Jerry J: Paperboy, Search for Bubba, East Ridge Flea Market, East Ridge Song, Fast Food Tour, Christmas at the Mall, Adam falls down, Trampoline Boy, New Years Resolutions, Lactose Intolerance Rally, Amateur Wrestling, Brian's Look at Road Construction, Lyinsac Commercial, Protesting PSA, and MUCH, MUCH, MUCH MORE!!!
Also:
-"Gatlinburg" and "Mysterious Hauntings" unreleased pieces.
-Cast Audition Footage.
-Commentary Track.
-OTOH Promotional Videos.
...and other stuff...
We may also include a short reel of Faces TV material, the show that came before OTOH.
The disc will be priced @ $10.00.
August 20, 2003
Bus Bombing In Israel
Cal Thomas has written a great piece concerning yesterday's bus bombing in Israel. You can find it here.
Ghetto Prom Pic 1
A bunch of "ghetto prom pics" were sent to me by my nephew, and I will post one each day for your enjoyment(?). Feel free to write a caption for each one, or stare in amazement, as the days progress.
August 19, 2003
On The Other Hand DVD
If anyone cares, I am currently compiling a DVD of some of the better "On The Other Hand" material.
It will also include some lost footage, most notably, Scott and Dan's hilarious trip to Gatlinburg. This reel is different from the previous "A Handful of On The Other Hand" and CD-ROM compilations that are floating around.
I'll let you know when you can get one...if you want to...
Oh yeah, they'll be cheap...
Mall Bathrooms
Why are the bathrooms near the food court in Northgate mall cleaner than the bathrooms near the food court in Hamilton Place?
And who came up with the term, "food court," anyway?
I don't see a judge.
"The court hereby sentences you to Sbarro and a free sample of fatty chicken from the Japanese place."
FUEL TV OUT OF FUEL
According to Barry Courter's column in the Times Free Press, Chris Braly and the rest of the gang at Fuel TV are closing shop. I could probably guess why....
The same reason I've lost interest in local TV...
No $$$...
Supposedly, the show will be transforming into something else. Who knows? I would say "why bother" unless more people are going to see it. I've also never thought there was much of a tv audience for local bands, especially for a show that aired when everybody was out watching local bands. But two years ain't bad, and Chris has always been great to us at OTOH, so we wish him the best.
We toyed with the idea of buying airtime on WB 53, right after Fuel went down to a half hour, but ultimately decided against it. Why rush back onto the air when nobody would notice if we were on or not on Fox? A lack of $$$, time, and resources killed me, and all the members of the show, and I can only guess it killed Fuel TV, too...
And with that said, the members of OTOH are stirring about, preparing to bring Chattown something...uh...well... funny. Stay posted to thie site for more info...
August 18, 2003
Hey! Idi Amin Died!
Idi Amin died. Good.
I actually thought he was already dead, but then I realized I must've got him confused with the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE HE KILLED.
Is There ANYTHING Funnier Than This?
A flyer for a local band.
I don't know where to start.
Good gravy, just look at 'em!
August 17, 2003
Woody Allen is boring
I re-watched "Annie Hall" last night, thinking to myself, over and over, "Best Picture?"
Have you noticed that he plays the same character in every movie he does, and all his characters talk too much?
I Hate To Love The Red Sox
"Why are we losing, blue?"
The BoSox are now 5 back in the A.L. East, and tied for the wild card with Oakland ater losing to Seattle today. The Red Sox should be winning more, and I'm not gonna let their streak destroy the delicious Velveeta shells and cheese I'm eating. I don't know what's wrong with 'em. They kick butt on my Sammy Sosa High Heat Baseball 2003 game.
August 16, 2003
The Blackout!
There once was a blackout in my town.
But the cops came and made him get back in his car.
-Emo Philips
August 13, 2003
FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS
Here's an easy way to get some traffic: Put up a meaningless poll!
Occasionally, I will put up top ten lists. Not so much to publish my tastes, but to see if there are any people out there who can join with me in nerddom and discuss things like:
TOP TEN FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS
1. King Crimson
2. Adrian Belew
3. Todd Rundgren/Utopia
4. Steely Dan
5. XTC
6. Built To Spill
7. King's X
8. Genesis (with Peter Gabriel)
9. Yes
10. NRBQ
Close behind: Frank Zappa, Little Feat, Alison Krauss, Sebadoh, DJ Shadow, Nat King Cole, The Bears, Neil Young, Phish, The Sugarplastic, Mike Keneally, Medeski Martin and Wood, Morphine, Walter Wanderley, Cornelius, the Flaming Lips, and more!
Of course, this means nothing except that I'm a dork.
August 11, 2003
More Michael Moore
Perusing the web, I found these sites.
Pretty impressive. They don't touch much on his chins, though.
Michael Moore Hates America
Moore Watch
Celebrity Hypocrites
The internet is not solely a tool of the left.
Please Help Michael Moore!
"Hey guys, I got a gun."
Limousine Liberal Michael Moore has been kinda quiet lately. I wonder if he's OK.
Perhaps he needs help thinking up his next his next subversive project. Hmmm...
Any ideas?
Come back soon, Michael.
My Wife The Graduate
My wife, Melissa, graduated from UTC on Sunday. It has been a long, arduous process, and we're both happy it's finally over. We ate dinner at Provino's afterwards, as did Wally Witkowski, from WGOW.
Also graduating from UTC on Sunday were Bo Wheeler and Brad Reynolds - both of "On The Other Hand" fame.
Congratulations!
August 08, 2003
Gary Coleman for Governor
With all the talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger running for governor in California, little attention is being paid to the candidacy of little Gary Coleman.
Qualifications:
Former Child Star.
Was Once A Security Guard.
Beat Up A Fan.
Is Small.
This is a messed up world.
August 06, 2003
From Justin to Kelly to Hamilton Place?
"And the runner-up, who'll get to perform at a shopping mall in a hick town, IS..."
from the Chattanoogan
American Idol's Justin Guarini In Concert At Hamilton Place
American Idol star and RCA recording artist Justin Guarini will be at Hamilton Place Mall on Saturday, Aug. 16, at 4 p.m.
Justin will perform songs from his new album.
He will also participate in a special meet-n-greet with 98-1 KissFM listeners, officials said.
Was El Meson booked already?
This man is Gay
"Yep. I'm gay. That's what's important.
I promise that I'll do my best to bring a new queendom to the kingdom.
Let's start by getting all these pesky bibles out of here.
They're clashing with the drapes...and my lifestyle."
A Prayer For The Death of Bill O'Reilly
Larry Flynt called people yesterday to pray for the death of Bill O'Reilly.
And they say Conservatives are evil.
August 05, 2003
Dat Phan Wins!
Dat Phan just won "Last Comic Standing."
What the heck just happened?
Ralphie was MUCH funnier.
Is it me? Did someone just jab a fork in my eye?
Has Anybody Else Heard This?
This album has become a cult favorite among many people I come across. I found mine for a dollar at McKay's in 1994. Ok, well, I play it for them, they stare with their mouth wide open in disbelief, and laugh uncontrollably. The laughing it produces was probably not the intent of the producers of the record, but man...it's just freakin' brutal...
I'd be interested to hear any feedback, experiences, or thoughts you have about:
The Kids of Widney High - "Special Music From Special Kids"
August 04, 2003
RALPHIE MAY IN CHATTYTOWN
Ralphie May, from NBC's "Last Comic Standing," will be at the Comedy Catch here in Chattanooga from August 14-16. I will undoubtedly be attending one of the shows. I only wish Rob Cantrell, who lost a few weeks ago, would stop in and sling some funny.
The final episode of "Last Comic Standing" is two hours and airs on Tuesday.
August 01, 2003
OTOH Website Down (Like The Show)
The "On The Other Hand" website has been taken down, as there is currently no TV show for it to be the subject of. Should we decide to revive the show (possible), we will re-launch the website. Until then, we can focus on things like...
"I Saw Bigfoot" a film by bill colrus...
(Updated Info Coming Soon...)
Squashing "Faces" Rumors
There was a mention in today's edition of Enigma that some cast members of "Faces TV" - my old show - are attempting to get the show back on the air in the Fall.
Just to set the record straight, I am NOT part of this attempt, and as creator of the show, will NOT allow the show to return to air in any way, shape, or form.
The cast members are free to do a television show, but it just can't be "Faces."
The show is dead, and I killed it. I also own its rotting corpse.