I would love to be the guy that grocery chains turn to to name their generic versions of name brand products. The idea came to me while seeing Food Lion's "Crispy Hexagons" being sold as the genric alternative to Crispix.
I mean, come on. That's just lazy.
Dr. Pepper has many incarnations: "Dr. Bob." "Dr. Perky." "Dr. Thunder."
Where do they get these names?
It's like they just write something down in the car, and don't check to see if anybody else has a better idea. I think they should check.
I would figure that this is one place where the grocery chains can exercise some creativity. People aren't buying the generic products because of the name, anyway, so let 'er rip! Shoppers will never notice.
Pepto Bismol could become "The Brown Frown Calm Down."
Doritos could become "Crack Dust Delights."
Spam could become "Jellied Pig Loaf."
You get the picture.
What about you? Any ideas for new names? I'll need some good ideas when I go in for my interview.
You’re right, they do need to do something about the names. Lame is probably the lamest word I can use to describe some of these product names, but they’re there for a reason. All a store brand is trying to say is, "we’re just like them." If it gets any more complicated or "creative" than that, their margin is going to shrink.
For instance, the larger, well-known poultry manufacturers, such as Purdue, Gold Kist, Tyson, etc., supply store brand chicken – known as the store’s Private Label. The grocery chains could spend big bucks to build their brand and promote the product, but they don’t because without spending that extra money, they’re keeping their margins high and serving a considerable segment of consumers who aren’t influenced by all of the fun things that make up your favorite brand name products. True, not all generics can stand up to the national brands. You just have to know which categories are worth it and which aren’t.
Maybe a new poll...Name Brand vs. Generic?
Posted by: PMAN at August 25, 2003 12:45 PMActually, I almost majored in generic product naming in college. I took a few classes and almost acquired enough hours to have a minor in it. I got bogged down by some of the combinations of descriptors they expected us to use.
"Frosted Mini-Flake Loops"
That one was mine.
Posted by: podge at August 25, 2003 01:05 PMI want to start naming knock-off products so that they have the word "Mesh" in them. Frosted Mini-Mesh. Mountain Mesh. Meshire Farms Sliced Meats. This could be great.
Posted by: mesh at August 25, 2003 01:14 PMI understand the reasoning for the generic naming process, I'd just like to create my own job...
Posted by: bill colrus at August 25, 2003 01:48 PMThey could write a Bud Light radio spot dedicated to you: "Mr. Grocery Store Chain Knockoff Product Namer."
Posted by: PMAN at August 25, 2003 06:11 PMMountain Dew's generic counterpart could be dubbed "Yokel Urine"
Crispy Hexagons -- Eat Breakfest and Learn Geometry at the Same Time!
Posted by: podge at August 26, 2003 01:37 PMI LOVE THE BUD LIGHT COMMERCIALS I THINK "Mr. Grocery Store Chain Knockoff Product Namer." WOULD BE GREAT SOMEONE SHOULD GET ON IT I VOLUNTEER FOR A BACKUP SINGER POSITION