RIGHT TO THE CHIN

This Popcorn Is Dangerous

As I approach thirty, I am trying to watch what I eat. So, when I was grocery shopping yesterday, I picked up a box of Paul Newman's Pop's Corn.

This is organic popcorn, without all the preservatives, and though it was a tad bland, I enjoyed it.

THEN, the trouble came. About an hour after eating the popcorn, I felt extreme indigestion, like I had been punched in the stomach by Paul himself, or kinda like Cool Hand Luke must've felt after eating all those eggs.

Good lord, people! Don't buy this elitist product! Stick with the partially hydrogenated shortening, trans fatty acids, and saturated fat that makes those "other" brands so delicious. Your body will thank you for it.