This new Gadget
just might prove that technology does actually have a use.
From up to 1500 feet away, you can now remotely change those red lights to green.
Priceless.
broken news:breaking headlines
Alphabet Home
“Without going into to much detail,” said Lahr Heferhef, chairperson of the Alphanumeric Development Consortium, “the beta version of the new alphabet that would see some significant changes to some letters.”
“The Letter H has always been problematic.”, continued Heferhef. “Unfortunately, its presence causes many issues that cascade down into the entire language. When testing completes on the Beta release, this letter will be completely removed.”
As well as dropping the popular letter H, the consortium has also recommended that an extra loop be added to all capital W’s and that the letter X be deprecated. It is therefore recommended that the letter X be used sparingly in this next release, as it will most likely be absent from subsequent alphabets.
“This is a positive step forward,” said Heferhef. “We believe this next release will be the finest alphabet to date.”
There has been sharp criticism from the corporate sector, especially from computer giant Hewlett Packard. A spokesperson from the computer company said that they could see a significant loss of market share if they had to change their name to a lone ‘Ewlett Packard’.
Fiorina, the CEO of HP, also spoke with the press. “Yes I’m very concerned. I don’t think that anybody will know what P is! We have worked hard at branding our company as HP and will fight this change tooth and nail. We have been using the prior release of the alphabet for many years and have never had any issues. We do not believe that this change is necessary, nor will it be a good thing for business.”
Fiorina was noticeably angry. However, she conceded that if the changes do take place, HP would have to fall in line. “Once it is gone, it is gone and we will have to move on.”
Proponents of this change include IBM, Gateway and General Electric. Each of these companies has been lobbying for these changes for quite some time.
It is expected that the beta version of this new alphabet will be complete by the end of this month and that the full alpha release of the alphabet will be publicly available sometime in early 2004.
Broken News - Breaking Headlines
The President, who stood in sharp disagreement with the Senate, issued his own statement.
"The Whitehouse will not rest until all Iraqis, or Cubans, whatever you want to call them, are rounded up and interrogated.”
It is expected that the travel ban will be officially lifted sometime early next week.
On major airline released a statement saying, “We’re glad to hear that the people of Cuba have been rescued from the oppressive clutches of Saddam Hussein. We look forward to opening up new routes in and out of that beautiful city.”
Broken News - Breaking Headlines
In a briefing held today at the Whitehouse, United States Secretary of State, Colin Powel, revealed the Governments new initiative to shun the nation of Canada.
"This plan puts to rest the unrest that the people of Montana, Washington and those other Border States have been concerned about.” Powel said. "We will no longer consider Canada as our friend, as an ally, as an enemy or even as a country. For us, they will no longer exist. Terra alba, terra cotta, terra firma!"
When questioned about the government’s tone in relation to the new plan, Mr. Powel could not remember the new plan.
The plan involves three major phases. The first phase is to not answer or return any phone calls from the people of Canada. The second requires the removal of the word 'Canada' from all American produced television shows or movies. And the third step, which has been criticized as being too sinister, involves shutting down the water to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.
Sources in Washington maintain that they were unaware of this alleged country. However, they also mentioned that they would fully endorse the Bill, which is slated for Senate approval sometime later this week
Senate Republican Whip, Mitch McConnell was unavailable for comment but left a prepared statement for the press. In his statement, he verified that the Canada does have nation status but that fact alone should not necessitate the attention of the US Government.
In an uncommon show of nonpartisanship, Minority Leader Tom Daschle agreed. "Yes, I have heard of Canada,” he said. "The people there are boring. I used to hate them. Now, because of this Bill, I know longer have to care."
Broken News - Breaking Headlines
The study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine has been widely criticized by dentists and parents. It indicates that dentifrice reacts adversely with the routine behavior of tooth brushing and can cause 'uncontrolled and dangerous' behaviors. It further claims that the dangerous side effects of this ‘lethal’ combination are the strongest in children between the ages of 12 and 19.
The response to this finding has been very strong.
"Frankly, I'm outraged,” said one dentist who wished to remain anonymous although mentioned his name was Emmet Robins. "This is a throwback to the middle ages when people didn't brush their teeth and dentists were more like blood-letters!".
One parent mentioned her disbelief that such a study would be published. "My children will still be brushing their teeth!” said Mrs. White, a playschool teacher and mother of 9. "I do not believe this for one second, although I will have to think about it.”
However, children everywhere were expressing relief that they would finally be able to determine the feelings of rebellion they have been experiencing.
“This gives me hope for tomorrow,” said one 9th grader. “I can finally put more effort into my schoolwork now that my emotions are under control.”
The study concluded by suggesting that although brushing can be a positive experience for adults and younger children, teenagers should be encouraged to just 'skip brushing' for the remainder of their adolescence.
As another example that the internet is in love with itself, there is an interesting article published on the internet about the internet. Blog on |CNET.com. Actually it was a blog about blogging.
As my friend put it, blogging is for students and the unemployed.
There is an article by Matt Welch from the Columbia Journal Review that weighs in on our discussion about the purpose and intent of the blog.
I'm not sure I agree with his conclusion which states:
| "Which is not to say that 90 percent of news-related blogs aren't crap. First of all, 90 percent of any new form of expression tends to be mediocre (think of band demos, or the cringe-inducing underground papers of years gone by), and judging a medium by its worst practitioners is not very sporting. Still, almost every criticism about blogs is valid - they often are filled with cheap shots, bad spelling, the worst kind of confirmation bias, and an extremely off-putting sense of self-worth (one that this article will do nothing to alleviate). But the "blogosphere," as many like to pompously call it, is too large and too varied to be defined as a single thing, and the action at the top 10 percent is among the most exciting new trends the profession has seen in a while. Are bloggers journalists? Will they soon replace newspapers?" |
From the perspective of Blogs as journalism, sure. This blog not withstanding, there is plenty of crap out there (here). But I believe journalism to be one purpose and not the sole purpose.
I do agree however that whatever the purpose, the writer should always try to create something valuable, even if that value is strictly personal.
But yes, I do agree that proper spelling is very important. Most of the tyme.
[the open source narrative exists as an exercise in collaborative freedom for the purpose of creating the first mass written piece of perfect literature. the following piece of fiction is freely available for reprinting, copying and/or distribution and more importantly it is open for improvements, changes, additions, corrections and complete overhauls. the only request (rule/guideline) is that for any piece of the story that any new author adds, changes, removes, edits, reprints or finds inspiration from; the previous author/authors that inspired the new piece must be cited, linked to and where possible, pinged. (please also include this text itself)]
I claim the goodness of wind beneath the solidarity of the earth. I hold fast to the promise of the night by the beckoning echo of the rising sun. I see beyond the years and past the unknown days into the soon-to-be forgotten memories that have yet to be lived.
I can travel through time.
It’s not what you’d think though. There is no big machine spinning or glittery globe spinning. It is just me and my memories and the bottled power of my own intention and intuition.
But trust me, I can travel through time. I can actually work my way back, step by step and minute by minute, through time. And it is very cool.
However, there is a catch. There is always a catch. Actually two catches; a cosmic double play.
First, I cannot travel forwards into the future. This is a definite drawback, but one which I have come to terms with. And secondly, I have to actually live out the time I am traveling back in equal proportion to the distance I am traveling. This causes more frustration than the inability to move forward into the future. What this means is that for every 5 minutes of time I travel back through, it takes 5 minutes for me to get there. So much for the dinosaurs.
[as a footnote, I think there must be a reason for this. Whoever controls the space/time continuum, and whoever gave me this gift (likely the same being), knew that time travel can cause incredible rifts in both logic and metaphysics (i.e. How is it possible for me to travel to an earlier time of life to visit with myself and what happens to the future that I have left? Do those people simply cease to exist or do they continue their own reality in my absence? And if they continue with their own reality, what happens if I alter the past in some intense way? Would they then all innately be given the knowledge of what I had done or would my actions cause a rift and through this rift birth a new, parallel universe? And how many subsequent parallel universes could I create? Etc, etc, etc.) So the rules of time travel persist. You cannot travel into the future, because the future has not yet happened, and in order to travel into the past, every single piece of every single part of the entire universe must join the time traveler in this journey backwards. How do I know all of this? Implicitly, I don’t. It’s just my theory, but it is also my experience.]
The first time I did it, travel backwards that is, it happened by total and complete accident. Or for those, like myself, who don’t really believe in accidents, it came about by a complex convergence of infinite choices upon a single frame of my existence at the exact moment it was supposed to. I was 10.
Presence takes the blogging case to it's marketing conclusion by putting me in the middle of nowhere.
Mesh has his blogging theory. I have mine. I think we are both right in how our theories work themselves out. However, I believe mesh to be wrong by his motivation.
I see too many people finding guilt in their blog. "I'm sorry, it's been so long since I last posted. . .", etc.
First, this assumes some audience that cares, which doesn't always exist (especially in my case).
Second, and more importantly, it puts the act of personal publishing (blogging) in the realm of work, ordeal, skedule, oppression and/or uncomforatable discipline. I think this is where mesh is wrong and I am right.
The middle of the road isn't always the safest place to play. My Philosoblog
Last year I watched th first season of 24 (kiefer, et al) on DVD because I had to work the evenings it was on.
Yesterday I watched the first 8 episodes of season 2.
It is brutal. I can't see how anyone could have watched this show without the fast forward control. There are so many ridiculous plot contrivances used in this show that it is almost unbearable. Convenient flat tires, people who are unable to act according to the laws of normal human nature for no other reason than the show would end prematurely before the alloted 24 hours. So many stupid decisions that result in stupid things. So much it was unbearable.
I wrote an entry on mydea.ca after watching season 1 with my ideas for season two. Obviously they did not take my advice.
Maybe the show wasn't meant to be watched in 24 straight hours. Spare me the misery. My firend and life partner screamed at the TV, screamed at me (and hit me continually on the right shoulder) because having only one TV and one living room, I in a way forced her to watch it.
How to make 24 a better (or at least watchable) show
or 5 rules for positively watchable narrative development
No one forced me to watch it, i'm just a poor excuse for a man looking for a better excuse for television.
Wired Mesh makes a point here about 'this whole blogging deal' saying:
I'm concerned for my new friend. The experience of writing is sometimes cathartic, sometimes important, sometimes impressive, sometimes forgettable, sometimes heroic, sometimes encouraging, sometimes personal, sometimes public, etc.
Mesh concludes the search for blogging import by deciding to post bi-weekly in an effort to focus on things "beautiful and important. . . [and] worthy of celebration and discussion". While I think this is a dandy idea, I think it steps into a muddy mire of self importance (not to say mesh thinks higher of himself/herself than he/she ought).
Of course this is my opinion but blogging to me is an exercise in writing, in sharing, in communicating and connecting. It should include well thought out essays and social ruminations, but it shouldn't be limited to that. Blogging is coffee talk essassinations. It is recipes and highlights. It's popular and private. It's uniquely personal and at the same time unavoidable public. It's diaries and drivel.
My point is that as much as you try to forget there is an audience, you are always keenly aware that what you write is available to be read. This should be the accountability of the writing, but not the purpose of the writing. If you want only perfect social essays, buy the magazine and publish your ideas. But if you want to blog, blog day and night and night and day. Be limited not by the expectation of response or the guilt of poor sentence structure, but only by the time available to you in your day.
But that's me. Maybe I should have proof read before posting.
[my letter to Roger Ebert]
I feel like there is an enormous amount of pressure to like/appreciate Kill Bill simply because it comes from Quentin Tarantino.
Sure, I like his style, I like his method of story telling, I like the moods he creates and the atmosphere he builds, BUT, what the hell is up with his choice of subject matter? Why in Pulp Fiction did there have to be a stylized homosexual rape scene? Why in Kill Bill did there have to be another rape scene and a pedophilia scene (made to look that much more hip because it was animated)?
These aren't fact based stories that he is trying to stay true to. Why stylize rape in any form? Why make a horrible act look horrible in a really cool way? What's the point. Why this subject matter? Has QT made any comment? Do critics care? Cartoon violence and fountains of blood, fine. But why stylized, hip-looking, ultra-cool, mood-building sexually deviant crimes? Why Why Why?
dreaming of a big screen tv. two have risen to the level of lust. hate myself. the 43" 16x9 Samsung HLM437W or the Sony 42" KF42WE610 Grand WEGA.
First, never ask the Sony store guy for his opinion of other brands. His specs said the bulb will last 30000 hours before any degradation, the best buy boy said his manual said 8000. Sony stores are over-priced and sony-store-salespeople are over-confident and a little arrogant. That brings me to the second point, never ask the best buy boy his opinion on the tv's. he's a boy, barely 15, knows more, cares less.
so i ask my newfound friends of 365 Rue d'Internet. What TV is the best TV and how can I convince myself (read: wife) that 3K on a television is a solid/wise/practical/necessary/important/please please please investment?
There is one other theory floating around which says that Neo (or the One) is actually a test-drive for a computer/human hybrid. He is a test program as the Matrix attempts to evolve past what it is. Each of the five previous have chosen to reboot and in doing so, allowed the Matrix to learn from their experiences.
This time, Neo chooses love. Which is what the Matrix really wanted.
But who the hell knows. And really, who the hell cares. (me?)
The Oracle is curious. Neo thinks she is the mother of the Matrix when the architect mentions it, but he scoffs at that.
The Oracle (while in the park prior to the burly brawl) talks about rogue programs that have two options; deletion or exile. I think she is referring to the Merovingian, the Keymaker and herself. She wants Neo to do something that will benefit her in the future. But it is confusing because she always speaks of time as being irrelevant in the matrix, and yet she says she is only interested in the future. She doesn't know if Neo chooses the left door or the right, which is why she is asking him to tell her if Trinity lives or dies in his dream. She knows his dreams aren't dreams but some kind of confirmed future state.
I'm sure that there is some simple explanation that will be argued for the next few weeks until Revolutions comes out.
One thing I'm sure of. Nothing is what it seems. Not the Matrix, not the Characters, not Zion, nothing. Or maybe it is.
I just finished watching the matrix reloaded last night on DVD. After reading several posts about the true (or alleged) nature of the story. I watched it in a new light.
I had a much better appreciation for the story with these links from Chronic Murmerings.
Here is what I think. I definitely think there is much more to what is happening then we have been let in on. Quite possible Neo (I'm sure it's been pointed out that the letters in his name spell one as in The One) is a program of the matrix designed to reboot the system so to speak. And that theory has been explored extensively.
I'm more curious about the Oracle, Merovingian, Persephone and the nature of Zion.
I'm quite sure that Zion is still apart of the Matrix. Built to contain those who reject the program. Neo receives a message from the oracle through one of the orphans while he is at Zion. The importance of this is two fold:
1. How could something physical be passed from a fake reality to a real one. (perhaps the orphan bent the spoon in zion and didn't receive it from the oracle but that still leads to point number 2)
2. The message of the spoon is: "There is no spoon" meaning where you are right now (Zion) is as real as where you were when you first saw the spoon (Matrix).
This means that Oracle is telling Neo that he is still in the matrix, only he doesn't begin to realize the message until the end when he controls the sentinel. Also, Agent Smith could not possible infect a living human being. (Of course I'm applying real world rules to a fictional story, but there has to be some reason Smith could do this.)
Sitting in my home office, trying to learn a new application architecture, I'm reminded of simpler time. A time devoid of afternoon exhaustion and early morning alarms. I remember the flowers that used to grow next to my house when I was 5, the gravel back alley that I walked to school and back on each day of my elementary life.
I remember the days when procrastination was something that your mom would tell you you were doing rather than hearing your own inner voice pass condemnation.
This is a creative outlet, I say. This is building my mind to explore the next web technology. Let me be here in my office/guest room/storage room/diaper change station. Let me sit and do nothing and feel good. I want to feel good about my days work. I want to impress those who pay me. I want to . . . damn, is this site public?
<cfinclude template="workharder.cfm">
<cfquery name="getWork" datasource="workingHard">
SELECT hardWorkers
FROM tblWorkingHard
WHERE firstName = "McKormick"
</cfquery>
<cfchart; name="continue. . .
i'm working now. I've always been.
or a short story from a weary boy
The first thing that happened to him was the last thing he needed. The day before he and his friends had ordered pizza from Diamond Joe’s Perfect Pies. Everybody expected it to be pepperoni but what came was ham and pineapple. Nobody was hungry after that. The party ended and they all went home.
The next morning came sooner than expected and all hell broke loose.
“Damn-it if I can’t make it to work on time one day in my life. Just once I’d like to sit down, read the paper, eat breakfast and watch the sun rise.”
He ran from his bedroom to the shower to his bedroom again and then through the kitchen to the garage. “Pizza?” he thought as he passed by the opened cardboard box of untouched pie. His stomach panged with hunger, or maybe with disgust disguised as hunger, or maybe as hunger disguised as disgust, “Why not?”.
Downhill from there.
“You’re late!!!” his boss screamed from across the cubicle crowded office.
“No you’re late you fat ass!!!”
“WHAT!!!” his boss was stunned.
So was he.
“What did you say?”
“FAT - ASS!” his hand caught his mouth as the perfect annunciation slipped through.
“Into my office!” The boss turned and walked away.
“Yes sir.” He was as confused as everybody else in the room. Everybody was as confused as him. He followed his boss into the office.
“Would you mind explaining what just happened out there?” his boss said. His eyes were full of hell.
“I can’t remember.” He wasn’t lying.
“How long have you been working here?”
“2 months.”
“Pack up. You’re done.”
“Pack this.” He felt a finger start to rise.
“You’ve got 5 minutes to be out of my building or I’ll have you thrown out.” He wasn’t lying either.
The drive home was quiet. Not a cloud in the sky and barely a car on the road.
The walk from his suburban car to the front door of his suburban home was quiet. Not a suburban neighbor in suburban sight.
Even the dog was quiet.
So much quiet.
“I need a drink.” he said. Then he fell asleep.
Morning came, then night. Then morning again.
A familiar voice echoed from outside the house, “Did somebody order a pizza?”
“Oh no, not again.” He said to his untouched bottle of Kentucky bourbon. The bottle smiled, he winced and somewhere off in the distance a dog howled.
“Not again. . .”
Again.
Again and again.
I used to be a pastor; 2 different churches over 3 straight years. That was more than 3 years ago now and today I'm on a journey into my own unknown trying to discover the truth about truth.
I'm having problems being who I always thought I was. I used to be a pillar of faith and religiosity. Well, not really. That is who I looked like and that brings me to the problems I'm facing today. I spent the better part of my life trying to be something that I thought I was, but as soon as I took off the robe of occupation, I slipped into someone I've never thought I would be.
Now, either being a person of religious conviction and faith is a constant struggle against the easier path of complacency and indulgence or . . . actually that makes sense.
The problem is, without the external pressure to be that person of faith (occupationally that is), I settle into a routine devoid of religion, prayer and sacrement. And without even the twinges of guilt that I so generously used to heap on myself. And it's not that I'm a lazy ass either, I just treat my relationship with God as I do all of my relationships. And the ones that prove valuable to my day to day life get the attention. And the ones that don't get blogged.
I've rejected most of the ecclesiology of the present western day. But i'm also not into a post-modern psycho relative sureity either. I want what I was promised back in Sunday School when I was a kid. I want a relationship with God that looks, acts and sounds like a relationship. I want more than my petty one-sided prayer meanderings. I want a new metaphor other than relationship. I want a little help on this one.
Someday.
I saw Kill Bill yesterday. The new auteur slick action style 2-volume epic from the icon-o-cultured mind of Quentin Tarantino.
It is a video game with better cut scenes.
Besides that, I don't really know what to say about it. A woman is betrayed, beaten, shot and left for dead. Four years later she wakes up from a coma and seeks revenge on her assailants. I can see how that could make an interesting story. And on that level I guess it is interesting. But the bloody montages that fill the spaces where the dialogue could have been are unimaginably and fantastically gruesome and drawn-out.
I have to ask; what is the point? Who gives someone like QT the right to put together a visual display of this magnitude. In an age where we seek peace in places of war and safety in times of uncertainty (not to get all hoity), where does someone, and for what purpose does someone make a picture like this? And after making it, does Uma Thurman (the revenge-bent Bride) or Lucy Liu (one of the betrayers) sit back and say, "Wow, that is incredible. I made that and that is an important piece of work and I am super proud to put that on my resume.".
Heads fly, arms fly, feet fly, eyes fly, blood flows like fountains, swords cut flesh like butter and slight/small quips of witty banter bridge the gaps from one fight to the next. Even the murder of a mother in front of her 4 year old daughter is worsened by a small coy coll-coated-threat thrown the daughters way by the murderer. And the sexual abuse of children drawn out in Anime? ("Lucky for her, he was a pedophile.") What is the point?
This is a movie about bad people doing bad things to other bad people. And there seems to be immense pressure to appreciate it simply because it is QT.
Now I'm not saying that movies have to be super redeeming or socially radical. Movies are tools of escape that are sometimes elevated to the place of evangelism. But what was the point of this stylized bloody excuse for a cool soundtrack? Did QT get all gelled up thinking about how he could play homage to the films of his youth by ripping together this gruesome montage. I don't know. Maybe Volume 2, which comes to theatres in February will resolve some of these issues. Maybe the fact that I have had such a strong reaction is the point. Maybe I've become so desensitized to the other casual violence that I needed something like this to point out my own inconsistencies. Maybe if I think about it long enough I will come to appreciate what I saw. I don't know.