I hope everyone has fun tonight. Be safe if you go out partying. I'm doing my regular New Year's thing - staying home just as if it were any other night. That doesn't bother me one bit, though, I had enough of crazy drunk people yesterday.
I've been spending lots of time on the couch, and there's been so much that I've been meaning to blog about, but I just don't feel like getting up. I'll be back when I'm all better.
Well, I finished The Fellowship of the Ring this morning, and I can't find the second one anywhere. I need more and I need it now! The kids are at their dad's, and this would be the perfect time to read if I could just find that book. I tried going to the library, but it's closed today. Why did it have to be closed today of all days?
I need to go wrap the rest of the girls' presents. Maybe they won't wake up until I'm done. Last year when I was wrapping Gracie's presents, she woke up and almost caught me.
Yep, this was basically just a filler post. I have nothing to say here lately. I almost wish there'd be some drama around here so I'd have something interesting to blog about. Pathetic, isn't it?
Last night was hell. Arien woke up in the middle of the night and started vomiting all over the place. Her bed, herself, the floor, me, and anything else around at the time. She was fine yesterday, a little crabby, but that's nothing new. She wouldn't eat much, maybe a couple of bites here and there, but she did eat so I wasn't too worried.
She was awake and sick until I finally got her back to sleep around four this morning. She woke up about nine and she's feeling like her old mischevious self again. If I hadn't been there I wouldn't have even known she'd been sick. I have no idea what brought that on, but I'm glad it's over!
In other news, my friend Jenny has a blog now, so go check her out.
Gracie has told everybody about her "beautiful tree". The tree and the shopping trip made her feel special. She wants to tell everybody what she got for them, but my Stepmom told her not to, so she tells everybody what she got Spike instead.
I've got to take Arien to the doctor in the morning. She had some gunk in here eye when she woke up from her nap at daycare yesterday, and the daycare lady told me that I can't bring her back until I get a note from her doctor saying that it's not pink eye. Her eye was a little swolen and stuck together when she woke up this morning, but I wiped it out, the swelling went down, and it hasn't been a problem since then, so I'm pretty sure it's not pink eye.
I walked into work this morning, clocked in, and turned around to find the bossman standing right behind me. "He's already doing the Fords," He said referring to the 2nd guy they hired to help me. "He doesn't have kids to worry about and he can be here no matter what, so we're going with him." I said okay, clocked out, handed the bossman my timecard and left.
I barely made it to the car before I started crying. Sure, that sounds a little babyish, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't prepared for this right now, and the bossman's smart-ass tone when he told me didn't help at all. I've got applications in everywhere, but nobody around here is hiring until the first of the year. I had no idea what I was going to do until then.
I went to Whitwell and put in an application at a factory, and I actually got to talk to the head honcho. He told me that they are going to be shut down until Jan. 5, but to call him on the 6th, and I'll have a job. Then, I went to an employment agency here in town. I did a whole bunch of paperwork, and then the lady told me to call them Thursday, that she's sure she'll have a position for me by then.
I'm in a better mood now than I was this morning. I'm hoping and praying that the employment agency has a position for me by Thursday. I realize that I probably won't be able to start until after Christmas, but at least I have something to look forward to.
You know, it really sucks to be unemployed. I worked for that company for a year and a half. They promised me from the beginning that after I'd been there for a while they'd hire me in (I was contract labor) full time, but that never happened. Instead they replaced me with someone else. I'm not sweatin' it, though. Things are bound to get better soon. They have to.
Both of the girls were in one piece when they got home, so I guess everything went well. Gracie said she had fun but she was glad to be home. Arien sat in my lap and jabbered for about 5 minutes when she first got here. I have no idea what she was trying to tell me, but it must've been funny because she laughed the whole time.
Arien had on a pair of house shoes when they brought her back. They bought her a pair because Wayne said he lost one of her shoes. I don't know why he bought her a pair of house shoes instead of a pair of real shoes, and I was mad. I mean, shoes don't grow on trees, and that was the only pair she had. She has to have a pair of shoes to wear to school, so after they went to sleep I went to Wal Mart and bought her another pair.
I unpacked the diaper bag after I got home, and guess what, there was the "lost" shoe. It was under a pair of pants. Wayne and Daphne must not have looked for that shoe very hard, because it wasn't hard for me to find. I wasted $10 and a trip to Wal Mart because Wayne and Daphne were either too lazy too look for that shoe or too stupid to find it.
I'm glad my babies are home, I missed them so much. We decided that he's going to get the kids every other weekend, and I know it's going to be hell when they're gone for two nights. I'll probably be ready for a break by the time that rolls around, though. Next time I'll be prepared, though. I'll get a new book to read, or maybe I'll take up crocheting again.
In less than a month my baby will be a year old. How did time go by so fast? She went from being a sweet little baby who wanted to be held all the time to being an independant toddler who screams if you pick her up. She'd rather be walking around and getting into stuff than be babied, and she gets into everything, especially if she knows she's not supposed to.
It's entirely to peaceful here. I miss chasing Arien around and Gracie whining about every little thing. I'm all for a little peace and quiet, but this is too much. Maybe Wayne will bring them back before 5:00 (when he said he'd be here), I don't think I'll be able to stand 5 more hours without them!
The cable guy had been gone for 5 minutes when I came home yesterday, and Barry had already screwed everything up. He was cussing and punching buttons on the remote and getting all worked up because he couldn't change the channels. I saved the day, of course. He had pushed the tv button, and the remote was changing the channels on the tv instead of the cable box. All I had to do was push the cable button and voila! It was fixed. Why in the world couldn't he figure that out for himself? I live in a house full of idiots, so we have moments like that all the time.
The girls are staying the night with Wayne tonight. Yeah, he finally called to see about them. They won't be back until sometime tomorrow afternoon, and I'm just lost without them. I needed a night to myself, though. Haven't had one of those in forever. Now if I only had something to do....
I wrapped all the girls' presents today. I even went up my dad's and wrapped the one's I have hid there. That was a battle because Spike (the dog) kept trying to eat the paper. That dog will eat anything.
There is one good thing about this, though. It makes Arien go to sleep. When Barry first turned it on last night, Arien laid down in the floor. He picked her up, and she sat in his lap and didn't move for the longest time, then she finally went to sleep. I thought something was wrong with her! She's never been that still before.
Bah. I should probably go find something to do besides sitting in front of this thing all day. You know, I hate having days off through the week. I'd rather be working while the kids are in school. At least it gives me something to do.
We saw a nurse practitioner instead of a doctor, and she was just awful. She treated me like I was as dumb as dirt. Every time she'd use a big word, she'd think for a minute and then try to break it down for me. Do I just look dumb or something? I hate it when people do that! Then, she told me that I shouldn't have brought Arien to the ER, that there were people there that were really sick and it might even make her worse. Um, excuse me, but wouldn't anyone else do the same if their daughter couldn't breathe? I wouldn't have taken her if I didn't think she needed some medical attention.
I tried to tell the nurse what had happened, but she wouldn't listen to me. She just looked at Arien for about 2 seconds, said she was fine, and left the room. Another nurse came back with a prescription and told me we could go home. Well, I have to say that was the shortest amount of time I've ever been in the ER. I figured they'd give her a shot or some medicine right then since what I had been giving her wasn't helping, but they didn't.
I took the prescription the the pharmacy this morning. I had to wait 30 minutes before they would even look at it. When they finally did, I had to wait while they called the ER and asked them what it was supposed to be for. It was for Pedia Care. Plain old over the counter Pedia Care that I had been giving her anyway. Why did she have to write a prescritpion for that? Why didn't somebody tell me that's what it was when we were in the ER?
So, Arien is still coughing and her doctor is out of town until Thursday. I hope she gets better before then, but if she doesn't I guess I'll be taking her for a visit.
Personally, I don't think she needs a Playstation. She would probably only play with it once, and then it would just sit there collecting dust. Or, she'd take it apart or jam something in it when I wasn't looking. She's only four, she doesn't need anything that expensive! Maybe I can convince Mom to get her a Barbie or a couple of books for her Leap Pad. Yeah, that'd be much better than a Playstation.
I can already tell that tomorrow is going to be a long day. Ugh. I guess it'll teach me not to play games all night, huh?
I wasn't expecting to get a check because I haven't heard anything from Wayne in almost a month. I've seen him around town, but he never notices me, or at least he doesn't let on that he does. Every time I've seen him, he's been holding Daphne's kid and smiling like he's just the happiest guy on earth. That really pisses me off. He doesn't give a damn about his own kids, but he can be a daddy to Daphne's kid. The only reason he pays child support is because he's scared he'll go to jail.
I just don't understand him. We have Arien because he just had to have another baby right then. I wasn't ready for another one. I had a good job making a lot of money, and I knew I couldn't work there anymore if I were pregnant. Back then I would've done anything to make him happy, so I agreed to go along with him. After only a month of trying, I was pregnant.
When we first found out, he told me not to tell anybody right away, he didn't want anybody to know. I thought that was a little strange, but come to find out he told me not to tell anybody because he wanted to be the one to do it, and he did. He was so excited, and I was in heaven. Wayne got a job painting houses, and I quit my job to stay home with Gracie (then 2 1/2) and take care of myself. I had my perfect little family a while.
Things started going down hill when I was 4 months pregnant (July, 2002). He lost his job and we started fighting all the time. He would leave with his friends and stay out all night with me stuck at home with Gracie. I had a feeling that he was cheating on me, but I wasn't sure.
We didn't have any money, so with my dad's help, I found a job (the same one I have now). I thought that since we'd have some money, things would get better, but they didn't. One day during the second week on my job, I came home tired an cranky. That was made worse by the fact that Wayne wasn't home, and his mom was bitching about something and I had to listen to it. So, when Wayne finally came home, we got into a huge argument and I took Gracie and left.
That was the end for us. He didn't come get me and apologize like he always had before. I found out a couple of days later that he had been cheating on me with Daphne, and they had gotten together the night I left. That really hurt me. I had considered Daphne one of my best friends. I covered for her when she was cheating on her boyfriend (also one of my best friends), I helped her out whenever I could, and look how she repaid me. Because of her, I don't trust people anymore.
So now, a year and a half later, Wayne acts like he doesn't give a flying fuck about his kids. He pops in and out of their lives whenever he pleases. It breaks my heart when Gracie asks me why her Daddy hasn't come to see her in so long. I hate Wayne with a passion right now. He left me with two kids to raise by myself. We're not doing so good, either. I'm stressed out all the time, I'm always broke, and I'm always tired. I'm 23 years old, and I live with my mom because I can't afford to put a roof over my girls' head. I need new clothes, but I can't afford to buy anything for myself. I've been trying to find a better job, but there's just nothing out there right now. I feel like the worst mom in the world.
I guess I'd better stop now. I've gotten myself upset. I really didn't mean to take this post in that direction, but I guess I just needed to say some of that stuff. I think I'm going to go to bed now. Tomorrow's pay day, so maybe I'll be in a better mood when I'm not broke.
I just had a really vivid dream. I was sitting on the couch watching Court TV, and I fell asleep. Arien has been asleep for a couple of hours, but I was dreaming that she was playing in the floor. The door was open to my mom's room, and Arien, who can't resist an open door, was about to go in there. I woke myself up getting up to go shut the door. It took me a minute to realize that Arien was asleep and I had been dreaming. That was definitely the most realistic dream I've ever had.
I can live with feeling like my head is stuffed with cotton balls, and all the other little aches and pains. It's those NyQuil dreams that I hate. I don't know why, but every time I take that stuff I have the strangest dreams. Last night, I had one about a friend of mine. We were in Iraq (or somewhere like that, I'm not really sure), and we were dismantling bombs and other things like that. Well, we dropped one, and it exploded. It was some kind of chemical thing, and it made my arms fall off, and my skin turn green. Eddie turned into a monster and was trying to kill himself because he didn't want to live like that.
I just took another dose of NyQuil, so I'm probably going to have an equally weird dream tonight. I wonder who it's going to be about this time.
I did some Christmas shopping for the girls yesterday. So far, I've gotten Gracie 2 Bratz dolls (This one and this one), and The Lion King movie. I the Little People Noah's Ark and some extra animals. I also got a Care Bears Play Hut for both of them. I also have some Barbie perfume ordered from AVON for Gracie. She loves anything pink or anything that has Barbie on it. I can't stand Barbie, personally.
I also want to thank Kat for pushing my AVON for me! She's right, we single mothers need to stick together. So, if you're going to buy anything from amazon.com, do it through any of the links on this site or through Kat's Blog. And I just want to say thanks again, Kat, you're the best!