have you ever house sat a house for awhile? Well I just started today.. for a few weeks. and I will tell you what, it's already and odd feeling. I took my friends to HOT LANTA this morning for their flight to COSTA RICA and they are gone for a two week vacation. And getting back to their house, it seems like it's off... it's already lonely for those who know it well, instead of me, the stumble around to find if that is the drawer for trash bags, or were the cat food and how much and when.... it's just odd... anyway, they should know that their house will be happy to have their return..... peace. b.
i used to be called sunshine, my friends in california would use that term. I don't know how that originated, I think because we saw each other early and I usually look pretty rough. I think that's the meaning behind the name. anyway I think nick names are awesome. anyway... take care... i need coffee and I think that I will go now... brian
we all have some sort of list that we feel would be really good or fun or exciting if we had the opportunity to do. I think about my things I have always thought would be fun. It's pretty basic I think.. when I was pre-driving and even into my early twenties I truly wanted to be a race car driver... the ones that went on back roads and had a co-pilot, man that would have had me excited for ever.. I also wanted to start a commic book, which I still might do... here actually... this site might become my expression of a comic book. i already have some of the characters, guess who the main character is,,,... yep electrick blanket boy... the character is how I see my brother, so if you know him you know how focused that man can be. I haven't met anyone quite like him and I like him very much. He's younger but I feel like he's the one that showed me what is possible and what this journey here is about. Not in words, not in a nose lifted high, but in the down to earth, nitty gritty... My brother rules... and that doesn't mean he does no wrong, but that the person I see in him encourages me to be someone I never thought I could be.... Thanks Tim.... Brian
if you know me, as a person, you know that I have been in pursuit of work here in Chattanooga. Well as it would come to be that I have been here almost a month and haven't planted into a job quite yet... I have had offers but nothing that felt right... but anyway I started working for bob and todd these friends of mine who are into construction and are subcontractors... So I started yesterday and today got up there at the site, lookout mountain, and it's covered with a couple of inches of snow.... so my second day of actually having work I was asked to go home... so a month of vacation, a day of work and then a day off... it seems almost fairtail esk... oh yeah in fairyland... which as you may know is another funny subject. I have talked to Lookout Mountain folk, and gotten the impression, no they told me... you don't say it fairyland but more like fair u land... they have streets like robin hood and some of the signs have little red ridding hood and the big bad wolf on them. come on people smell the burning candles of your minds and the wax is melting down your nice new shirt... anyway... thoughts...
Don't songs say the funniest things. Like 'I've got the will to drive myself sleepless'...what do they mean... like 'I've got two turn tables and a microphone'? is there meaning here... is there something I miss, I love this stuff but really... 'green light, seven eleven, you stop in for a pack of cigarettes, you don't smoke, don't even want to, hey now check your change'???????? they all seem cool to me but really I have trouble seeing the deeper picture and it's chaotic nature lends toward a deeper meaning... but to say this song means this, is to be putting meaning where it wasn't in the first place... anyway just some random thoughts about songs I know.... B.
Last evening a few friends and I wanted to watch a movie. White Nights - great movie but we couldn't find it anywhere... it was all part of the fun, and at the close of a very late evening ending as bar folk started showing up at the WAFFLE House I noticed that I hadn't drank anything but water and coffee the whole evening. I parted ways with my friend, and he helped me see the beauty in things like a sober night of clean fun, getting cleaner all the time... anyway it's new and fresh and maybe that's a sign that I am getting old... no need for beer or wine or anything else to enjoy people... anyway... struck by the contrast in that last time I was in chattavegas it wasn't this way, it was always a drink and drink and drink. Things became glossed over and it was no fun, it was a waste of pain medication and people's money...
One thing my friend Kevin and I did agree on is that it's easier to go into uncomfortable situations with a few beers, or more then a few beers under your belt... so I am trying to create a new standard where it's fun and okay to be myself without being on or off something... ten four....
Where does this wirlwind start? This out of wack world spinning and in the state of constant distruction or disorder beyond recognition. Everythings so wacked out. Look at us.... We are all out of wack. I don't feel anything besides greed and superiority (possibly backwards to conventional superiority but still superiority in my heart the same). It's sick, it's evil, it's death. I feel greed because there is more out there that the tv and radio rub in everyone's face, and make us truly deep down believe that we need something beyond food and shelter. And even in that food and shelter category we get pretty far fetched... The superiority I feel isn't because I am better then the bums on the street most of the time, but more of a looking at the rich and well to do people who need to ride in the SUV with the three tv's or dvd players inside 'it's for the kids'. Or the people who make life out to be something loftier than it is... cause life is pretty basic.... Basically messed up... anyway my hope is to imbrace instead of what I usally do and that is find something to feel better about how crapy I feel....
the moments roll, down the hills of time, gentle hills at times. Still hills none the less... rolling, I don't know why they roll, it's in the air I guess. Anyway, Today is Tuesday, I sit here, stiff coffee in hand wondering what this moment is for. In the last few weeks I have tried to view each moment as a gift from God. I know that may sound pretty lame, I don't really care. I think we all should feel a little freer to be lame. If we all knew how lame we all are then we would stop looking down on other people cause of their lameness. So yes, let's be lame.
I stagger, not sure why, this world is so. I laugh and joke at it's perplex spin. I don't know what to do when I think that my life is something I need to tame... I feel more and more like the bad examples I used to hear about Christians, or any person with a faith in something bigger than themselves. Is religion a crutch, YES. all religion is a crock and a crutch, in that it's relationship that we should be finding ourselves in, not religion, that's all I hear these days, religious this and this is the specifics our your beliefs as contrasted to mine, so we can't be friends... ha... I laugh.. in shame... isn't that odd.. almost as odd as trying to buy our way to heaven, which I do all the time...
Being a kid raised around the church in one form or another I was exposed to allot of the religion. That structure that truly can breath life into our relationship with God through Christ Jesus or kill that very thing... I felt more and more that it was killing my relationship with God. My belief there was faded and tucked away. I don't know why God has me here, I sometimes think it's to show all the smart morons that there is more to this life then big words, but they don't seem to listen so that can't be it... anyway still looking into why I am here... if you know drop me a line, I would love to hear it... b
the truth about fish mongrols is that they eat silly portions of water. It kills everything that moves in the streams where they frolic. Some people think they can fly if they hold their breath long enough. Their lives pay hommage to restless abandonment in search of valhalla. Some instruments of destruction can be used to save some species of rare fish. Mostly tropical... Some guy called me biglunkhead, it was fishy... Integral parts of the machine lie in the life processes associated with sharing their faith, and the maintenance of their metabolisms... The end
don't let the man bring you down they say with a pat on the back.. easy to say, but really what does it mean. Who is the man, I know that I am not the man, for he seems very fly and has quite a following. I think maybe I almost met the man once but me being his polar opposite the gravitional pulls kept us from meeting. So if anyone has met the man I would love to hear about who he is, and what's his family like.. Is he a cat or dog fan. does he like sports, is he into butterflies or like powertools or something in between... huh... anyway just thoughts I was thinking as I realized that I may have angered our blogg host... anyway sorry, I am a meany head. B
I woke up three minutes ago with this dream still hanging out with me. It started where my girlfriend and I were on bikes, I don't know why but there was someone there who was with us and keeping up with us that didn't have a bike... As we went around I realized that I was at the missionary center in Papua New Guinea, it was called Ukarumpa. So we are riding around and we get off our bikes and head over behind what I thought was the administrators building but it wasn't. It ended up being a house where these kids that were in a band hung out and one of their dad's was making this icing like desert which he shared with us all, cause I had wandered in... I talked with everyone in the room for awhile and realized that though I thought I knew people that I knew no - one there.... anyway that was my dream.. or fragments of my dream.... brian
this is just a snap... it's close up cool huh.... smiles and untamed life are good too... say cheese
seven is a beautiful number to me and I hope that you find a number that makes you see beauty... it all started with the idea that some people use a crude version of seven with no character, but it is one where you can add a wing half way down the seven and make it have some unique characteristics.... that's is, me and seven....b.
I can smell the tired sky, it bleeds for rest. Does nature rest, or is it too like us unable to sit still for more then two seconds... My eyes burn with lack of sleep induced by my couch dwelling and there being a prayer meeting in the house that was graceous enough to put me up. Thankyou Isaac... anyway I feel down, not sure exactly why, some residual stuff... Family matters that really do matter back in Cali... I want to start writing songs but they don't want to flow... verse chorus verse just seems stupid right now... A smidge trite as it were... anyway I hope you are well and that all your wandering ducks return to their row and that you live happily ever after... me I think I am starting to realize that life isn't about getting the ducks in a row it's realizing that it's impossible to have all the ducks in a row. we were not put here on EARTH to be together to that degree. I mean we have emotions which are really messy, really really messy... and our environment alone isn't the sole trigger to the activity and content of our emotions... The funny thing is that all of us try to deny the chaos that life is and must be... I just hope to become one with the chaos... my uncle wanted me to make hime a shirt that said embrace the chaos... i didn't cause my life was too chaotic at the time... that's like joke.... peace..... brian
there are questions in my head about what matters and what is truly important... I have realized more and more, through deaths and pain that people matter more then I ever thought they did... That's why we are here really, to show people that there is hope for something better and we aren't worthy of it but we are able to have it... isn't that amazing... later... brian