We were supposed to be in court last month over child support, but I had it rescheduled. He had a motorcycle accident the week before our court date (He was riding a motorcycle which he knew had no brakes, so don't feel sorry for him), and was still in the hospital the day before. I didn't want to sit in court all day only to have it postponed because he wasn't there, so I explained the situation, and they agreed to postpone it. I didn't realize that they would set the date for December 17th. He'll be over a year behind by then.
He doesn't even want to see the girls anymore, either. The last time he called was the day after his accident. Even then we hadn't heard from him in over 2 months. Gracie misses him terribly. She constantly asks me to take her to see him, but since I have no earthly idea how to get in touch with him, I can't. She knows that he was hurt (thanks to my cousins kids who actually saw his accident), and she's scared for him. The other day she asked me if he was dead. One of these days she's going to start thinking about him and ask me why he doesn't love her anymore. What am I going to tell her then?
As for Arien, well, she doesn't even know she has a daddy. She's 18 months old, and she's only seen him a handfull of times. She went from being the baby that he wanted so badly that he had to have right then, to being nothing to him. When he actually does call, he never asks about Arien. I don't see how he can ignore such a beautiful little girl, but he acts like she doesn't even exist. At least he does pay some attention to Gracie every now and then.
Bah. I've upset myself enough for one night. I'm not even going to bother with all the other stuff I was going to write about him. He's not worth wasting anymore time on when I could be sleeping.
Doc: (to Gracie) Put your hand on your head.
Gracie: *Puts right hand on top of her head*
Doc: Clap your hands.
Gracie: *Looks perplexed, raises left hand in front of face and moves it back and forth as if clapping her hands while keeping right hand on top of head*
Doc: (to me) Didn't know she was a blond, did you?
That was probably one of those "you had to be there" moments, but it was hilarious. I wish I'd had the camera with me so I could have captured the look she had on her face while she was trying to figure out how to clap her hands without taking her hand off her head. That was the highlight of my day!
A lot of people that I know offline know about this now. And lately, the only things I've wanted to write are things that I don't want everybody to know about. Other than those things, I have absolutely nothing to write about. So, what should I do about it? Do I just stop writing, or do I start another blog somewhere else and hope nobody I know finds out about it? What do you think?
Of course she had to pose for a couple of pictures, too. She's such a ham.
I finally went to the dentist today, and guess what - I have an impacted wisdom tooth, and it's going to cost me a million and six dollars to get it cut out. Not to mention all of the other stuff he wants to do to my mouth. He gave me a treatment plan, and it's going to cost me over $1300 dollars to get it done. And that's just for the teeth on the left side of my mouth.
Getting it financed is going to be tricky. They don't do in-house financing, so I have to apply for this credit card that can only be used with dentists, doctors, etc. There's just one problem there - I can not get a credit card no matter how hard I try. It's not that I have bad credit, it's that I don't have any credit. None. They said that if I could get my dad to co-sign with me, I could probably get one, and I hope they're right. If I can't get this thing, I can't have the work done, because there's no way I'm ever going to have $400 at one time to pay for just taking out that one tooth.
Oh great, now my tooth is starting to hurt again. This sucks, and I'll be so glad when I finally get this thing taken out!
I really don't need to add another bill to my collection right now. I have a little extra money right now, but that's all about to change. Gracie will be starting kindergarten next month, and I'll have to buy school supplies, pay her tuition and fees, etc. So, I'm going to be broke for the next couple of months. I'll get by though, I always do.
I've had the world's worst toothache for the past four days. I've been eating hydros like candy, but even they aren't helping much anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do about it. I don't have dental insurance, and I can't afford to go to the dentist, so there's nothing for me to do but sit here and hurt.
This sucks.
I really need to start watching what I say around my kids. Especially around Arien. She's picking up some pretty bad habits. "Damn" is becoming her favorite word. But that's not the worst of it. Last night, she really didn't want to go to bed when it was bedtime, but I put her in there anyway. As I was walking out of the room, she said, "Mama!". I said, "What?" She looked at me and said -as plain as day- "This sucks." Then she laid down.
I'm just glad Gracie is out of the repeating everything I say stage. She wouldn't say a cuss word to save her life. Not where anybody could hear her, anyway. But she does say some funny things, though. A couple of weeks ago, we were in Wal-Mart and she was acting like a little brat. She wouldn't mind, and she was embarassing the crap out of me. I finally had to spank her to get her to act right. When I did, she didn't cry, she just looked at me and said, "God, doesn't like you anymore, Mama, 'cause you're not supposed to spank kids in Wal-Mart."
Yesterday I did something I swore I'd never do again - I got my hair cut. Not a big deal to most people, right? Well, last time I had my hair cut, it ended up being much shorter than I'd wanted it to be. I was going for a chin-length cut, and it ended up being eyeball-length. That was three years ago, and I haven't had more than a trim since. I loved my long hair, but it got to be too much. I had seven inches cut off, and it's still shoulder-length, so I didn't go too short. At least now I won't get tangled up in my hair if I go to sleep without it up in a ponytail
I'm still working on that long entry I promised last night. I've got so much that I want to say, but I can't really find the right words. I've had that problem a lot lately, though. That's one of my reasons for not posting as often. Maybe I'll be able to finish it tonight.
I have a very long entry that I need to write, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. I've had a terrible toothache all day, and I'm just a little bit woozy from the pain pills I've been taking for it. And, I have to be at work at 7 in the morning, and it's almost one, so I guess I need to go to bed. Good night, and happy 4th!