Sometimes I wonder why I even bother... With anything... Is it really worth it? Is anything really worth it... Can anybody answer that? Or does it have to come from me. Cause I think if it has to come from me, I'm screwed...
I swear the hardest part of my blog is figuring out a different title everytime... Or maybe that's just me... Has anyone ever told you to listen to your heart? I'm discovering lately just how hard that is on so many different levels... I think the reason people don't listen to their hearts more is because the damn things don't talk loud enough and I swear speak a foreign language most of the time... I vented to kate a little bit today... so that was fun... actually i probably vented a lot i'm not really sure... venting blurs together after a while... I cleaned my bathroom today... yay for me... it no longer has it's own strain of bacteria... whoo hoo... what else... hmm... I didn't fight with Brandon today which is a positive but it'll probably come tomorrow and that sucks... Especially if Kate and I go to Sparky's to hang with everybody or go to Daniel's friends party or whatever... Sparky's is more likely and probably less fight enducing but still...At least today was a good day... Garrett came for dinner which is nice and hasn't happened in a while, and then there was the puppy visiting and the yaying for Kate's new carpet and the Wal-Mart excursion and then waffle...so no matter how bad tomorrow sucks... today was good... I am just so frustrated... And I really should be asleep because I have to drive to Scottsboro in the morning and that really blows... I swear driving from Chattanooga to Scottsboro is like some kind demented torture... ok, well I don't have anything else to say really and this whole thing was probably kinda boring, so i guess i'll just go...
Okay really, with the being sick of people... How is it that people can fuck up once; know they fucked up, admit they fucked up, feel like shit and then DO THE SAME DAMN THING OVER AGAIN!!! I seriously don't understand... Maybe I'm just not built that way, but I really don't get it.. And it sucks... Some things are easy to forgive no matter how many times the sin is commited, but damn. When someone invades your privacy, tries to start a fight with you from something they found out by going behind your back and then lying about it... and doing that more than once... I swear, that's wrong... There's a law against it somewhere... I'm seriously frustrated... It's one of those things I'll just have to get over... But it's really hard to trust someone after that, especially when you have other reasons not to trust them... I'm not the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm not the great white hope, I'm not gonna make your life perfect just by being there... Why is this hard to understand? But only for the people that really need to understand... Oy! I would ask for advice but no one really reads this anymore, so uhh, nevermind I guess... Sleep... Sleep is good... Sleep relieves stress... I hope...
Okay, I so haven't updated in my blog in like 2 months... I highly doubt that anybody reads it anymore, but hey it happens... I have been so busy lately... It's weird how busy you can be when you don't have a life... But I'm slowly get back into it... Trying better to keep in touch with people and all... I dunno... Things have been kind-of hard lately, but I swear the less you talk to people the easier it is... Not because people are the problem but just because when you don't talk to anymore it's hard to imagine anything being wrong... I swear that made sense in my head... But now, it doesn't so much look like it... I seriously need to be asleep... but I'm not... what can ya do? not a whole freakin lot i guess... but i have a day ahead of me tomorrow... i hate having things that people don't understand or dealing with stuff that i can't talk to anyone about... it's like, you can ask yourself all the questions in the world and your answers are going to be the same... and when you can't ask anyone else you don't know if you're right, or seriously disillusioned or just flat-out nut ball... oy... why does it all have to be so hard...