A Jeep In Summer

Weekend Must-Accomplish-These-Things List

1. Read 26 Global Trends papers.
2. Write cumulative Global Trends final.
3. Sleep.
4. Interact with girlfriend. Maybe watch Citizen Kane together?
5. Pay some more attention to poor neglected yard. Needs grass seed. Flower bed requires weeding. Basil plant needs big ole clay pot. Which requires shopping. Bleah.
6. Worship.

Have no idea if I'll be able to hang out with my housemate and his fiancee while she's in town. Apparently the schedule is both packed and somewhat yet-to-be-defined. Awkward combination.

Awful Quote Of The Month

This one's funny:

"Thanks for not offering to testify!"

That Dream Within A Dream

All you married people are so lucky. ("...for the mutual society, benefit, and help that one ought to have of the other.") You never have to explain to someone who really needs a place to live that you've decided to not have any more housemates.

Not Intended For Embarrassment

"Is that your teal Ford Tempo in the parking lot?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, your hazard lights are blinking."
"Oh, thanks. I thought you were gonna make fun of my car."

Coffee

"I've always got to do what the register says. What if the register says something that's wrong? All customers are the same."
"No, all addition and subtraction is the same."
"Your lattes are all the same."
--Two apparently disgruntled Starbucks employees.

Monday Morning Quotes

One cannot divide one's life between an actual relationship to God and an inactual I-It relationship to the world--praying to God in truth and utilizing the world. Whoever knows the world as something to be utilized knows God in the same way.

Martin Buber

The motive that impels modern reason to know must be described as the desire to conquer and to dominate. For the Greek philosophers and the Fathers of the church, knowing meant something different; it meant knowing in wonder. By knowing or perceiving one participates in the the life of the other. Here knowing does not transform the counterpart into the property of the knower; the knower does not appropriate what he knows. On the contrary, he is transformed through sympathy, becoming a participant in what he perceives. Knowledge confers fellowship. That is why knowing, perception, only goes as far as love, sympathy and participation reach. Where the theological perception of God and his history is concerned, there will be a modern discovery of Trinitarian thinking when there is at the same time a fundamental change in modern reason--a change from lordship to fellowship, from conquest to participation, from production to receptivity.

Jurgen Moltmann

See how the perfection of one person requires the fellowship with another.

Richard of St. Victor

W. H. Auden

O Living Love, by your birth we are able
Not only, like the ox and ass of the stable,
To love with our live wills, but love,
Knowing we love.

O Living Love replacing phantasy,
O Joy of Life revealed in Love's creation;
Our mood of longing turns to indication
Space is the Whom our loves are needed by,
Time is our choice of How to love and Why.

I Want To Go

"September 10"

A Play Written and Performed by Douglas Coupland
Royal Shakespeare Company
Stratford-on-Avon, England
4 - 24 October 2004

Grab The Nearest Book

"'Ripper can have some tea out of my saucer,' said Aunt Marge as they all proceeded into the kitchen, leaving Harry alone in the hall with the suitcase."

Instructions:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

Go On Imagine Me There

Was it want with no desire
Was it smoke with no fire
Did I say it doesn't rip me apart
I lied

from "Similar Features"
Melissa Etheridge

Craziness

Very odd day. Only got about 1 hour of sleep last night. Scheduled plenty of time, even with it being a get up at 4 am and write a lecture day. Sleep just didn't show up. The worst thing is, now I know it can happen. I suppose it is a result of so much going on, a potentially stressful conversation with a Chattanooga visitor this weekend, end-of-the-semester stuff, change of weather, and so on.

Started to get inchoerent at about 1:45 pm. After a three hour nap and a shower, I'm pretty much ready to go celebrate G.'s birthday. Let's party!

Today's low point was that the Conoco was out of cold canned Diet Coke. On yeah, I didn't get to lift either. Bleah.

Tonight: celebrate, laundry, some reading, maybe a return to a decent sleep pattern.

Thanks For Writing

Did you cry your eyes out, or are you too numb for that now?

I think there are some good and heartfelt pleas that your friends could make to you. I think a characterization of you as selfish is not too far off base. I am not, however, sure that you are manifesting your natural self-absorption (and I say that knowing we are all guilty of it, not that you are special in this way) in your relationship.

Let me also say that it is hard, very very difficult, to be self-sacrificing
and loving and serving toward others when you are single. I have found that
I have much much more time to do the "serving in the church, listening to
mentors, helping those in need" stuff now that I am married, even as a new
mom. The loneliness and desperation that one occasionally, sometimes
perpetually feels while searching for a mate (and M. had it much worse
than you do, I guarantee it) can break a person down and cause him to ask
"My God, why have you forgotten me?" I do not, nor have I ever, felt that
your search for a wife was a bad thing in itself. If you are doing it for
selfish reasons (and you alone are the one who knows that) you need to
repent and believe the gospel unto your own salvation. I do it every day,
because there's always someplace I am in disbelief and need God's
forgiveness. Change is possible, even probable, no, guaranteed, when Jesus
loves us and makes us His own. I believe that and it is K.'s only hope. As well as yours.

I would not actually say many of the blunt and harsh accusations. But since they’ve been laid at your feet, just ask yourself the questions, answer them truthfully, repent of any wrongdoing or sinful attitudes, and move forward. It's stupid to think that if things aren't all in place now, they can't be put right.

L and O? M. and me? A.? Your sisters? S. and J.? We love you and we are not nobody. P. has every right to say whatever she wants as an old lady in the faith and you can understand her concern too (mama wants perfection for her surrogate son).

Something J. told me once--"stop trying to justify yourself. Jesus already did it. Rejoice, therefore." I do not think you are self-justifying any more than the accusations call for, but if you did completely stop...the ringing in your ears might stop too. Sit your butt down on Jesus' high shoulders and let Him walk. You don't need to do anything except repent, believe, and love that woman and the people around you in the best way possible...all of which can only happen as you rest with your feet over the edge smiling and knowing that He is doing more for you than you can ask or imagine. It's beautiful even if it ends badly. It's beautiful and redemptive, my friend.

The edge is that place where those who are in desperate need of the gospel live. We all should be there.

Safety in Complacency

What if following God meant giving up the things that I think I need and doing things that move me away from a comfortable life? What does a life of true surrender to God look like? What if God hasn't called me to be happy, what if he has called me to be faithful in ways that I won't like?

As I watch, as I see, as I read these papers that I assigned, as I pray for the marriages of my friends--marriages that exist and marriages that are soon to be, as I look forward to a less stressful summer, as I think about the simple joys of coffee and walking around in sweatpants on a cool spring morning, as I think about my mortgage, I remember Ecclesiastes. And Maggie Becker breaks in and sings all that matters, the great treasure, is to be 'poor in paradise with Thee.'

At what point do I sin in seeking contentment?

Ok, now I'm going to finish tomorrow's lecture. In what ways is the United States like Superman? Ah, he is the champion of truth, justice, and freedom. If only I had thought far enough ahead to have a Superman t-shirt I could tear my jacket and dress shirt off to reveal at the appropriate moment! Well, there's always next semester.

Summer Lyrics

Piece by piece I take apart
This complicated heart
And I hope to find
Something I can prove is real
I can feel is truth
I can say is mine
That's all I ever wanted to be
The closer that I got
The further I could see
But when [some things] change
And the night feels strange
We choose our road
The letting go

'The Letting Go'
Never Enough
Melissa Etheridge

Make Your Choice

Would you rather work the kissing booth at a garlic festival or buy your groceries in Beverly Hills with food stamps? Discuss.

O God, Hear

What the cutting locust left, the swarming locust has eaten.
What the swarming locust left, the hopping locust has eaten,
and what the hopping locust has left, the destroying locust has eaten.

Joel 1:4

O my God, incline your ear and hear. Open your eyes and see our desolations, and the city that is called by your name. For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act.

Daniel 9:18 & 19

Amazingly Tired

Up at 3:30, before the 4 am alarm. Class, then lots of reading senior notebooks, weekly lunch with S., a couple of runs to the mailroom, cooking taco salad, dinner with the house boys, last minute drive to the postoffice, a couple of phone calls. It is just about bedtime, and I don't really have anything profound or effective to write.

When in need, turn to Douglas Coupland.

"When I was younger I used to worry so much about being alone--of being unlovable or incapable of love. As the years went on, my worries changed. I worried that I had become incapable of having a relationship, of offering intimacy. I felt as though the world lived inside a warm house at night and I was outside, and I couldn't be seen--because I was out there in the night."

from _Life After God_

"I want you for my bodyguard,
to curl around each other like two socks
matched and balled in a drawer."

from "On guard"
Marge Piercy

Mike Can Rock

Follow The Signs

Open your mind
Read between the lines of what you see
Look into the soul of reality

Michael W. Smith

Signs of imminent change continue to appear in my house. There's a whole new load of boxes in the dining room, which I don't mind. Really. It's a temporary thing. I do mind the way my heart lurches when I see them. I don't know if it'd be profitable to walk through those feelings and think about the things that have been, the things that might've been, the ways I've failed, the things that might never be. It's not like the change is going to stop--the summer is going to come, so I'm going to walk into it with all that I can muster up: laughter, a couple of last drinks, a couple of tux rentals, investment until the last possible minute, joy for the joy of another, saving tears for a later and less public moment, prayer, lots of pictures and lots of miles on the car. These events and changes aren't about me, and I realize that, and I know it is easy to leave when you're movin' on up. So--toasts and good wishes and blessings. The Lord bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. And may he give you his peace.

Weekend Lyrics

You ever go to McKay's and look through the .74 or .99 cd's and buy something you would never spend $18 on? And then absolutely fall in love with one of the songs?

It may be a long shot
We may be lonely down the line
But love knows no reason
And I won't let them make up my mind

My money's riding on this dark horse baby
My heart is saying it's the lucky one
And its true colour's gonna shine through some day
If we let this
Let this dark horse run

Amanda Marshall

from 'Blood-Sister'

you are holding a naked baby girl
she laughs into your eyes
we sit at your table drinking coffee
light flashes off unwashed sheetglass
you are more beautiful than you have ever been

we talk of destruction and creation
ice fits itself around each twig of the lilac
like a fist of law and order
your imagination burns like a bulb in the frozen soil
the fierce shoots knock
at the roof of waiting

--Adrienne Rich, 1973

There's More Than One Way To Get To Marriage--It Isn't All About Courtship

My mom and I have been having an infrequent conversation about courtship, marriage, and dating. (Actually, I think she's just REALLY GLAD I'm dating someone! She's so sweet.) She sent me this in an email this morning:

"In my regular Bible reading the last few days, within just a few pages I have found quite a few different ways marriage was approached in the Old Testament. Samson had his parents get him a Philistine wife against their wishes. Well, that marriage did not last long and apparently he didn't get around to marrying Delilah.

Then a Levite has a concubine that he treats shamfully and then gets angry at the perpetrators, leading Israel to war against the Benjamites. The Israelites feel guilty because the 600 remaining Benjamites have no wives and they have sworn not to let their daughters marry them. So they go wipe out a town, except the virgins (how do they know?) and give them to the Benjamites (how do they choose?). That's not enough so they throw a party, have their daughters dance and tell the remaining Benjamites to snatch the one they want!

On to Ruth. I hadn't considered that she actually slept in Boaz's bed. Sleeping at his feet outdoors didn't strike me as being in his bed. On the other hand, they made sure she went home before anyone could see her. I guess even then everyone would assume . . . what we would nowadays assume.

Okay, now we have Elkanah, who has two wives. It doesn't say how he got them, but it sure did cause trouble in the family.

All of this, just within a few pages! No prescription for sure."

Yep, I think the key is to not force things that are descriptive into being prescriptive.

gonna wear this to wedding rehearsals

A Prayer For The End Of The Semester

O God, slow us down and help us to see that we are put in charge of our lives, but with thy help. Help us to get in tune with the rhythm that makes for life.

We keep moving, even though we know that we are made to center down, as well as to be actively engaged in the business of life. We compete for things and make those things more important than they ought to be. We eat what we ought not to eat. We neglect and misuse our bodies. We fail to discipline our minds and to be still and know that thou art God and that we are the temple of the Most High. Yet we often complain about our misfortunes and our hard luck, when at times it is we who are guilty of disregard.

Help us to know that we can be broken by life only if we first allow the victory of evil over our spirits.

May our hope and strength and faith be grounded in you.

Amen.

--George Thomas, from Conversations with God

New T-Shirt