A Jeep In Summer

Dependent

Babysat Analeasa on Tuesday. Highly rewarding experience. I do believe that she loves her Uncle Mike.

The last time I took care of her without the presence of her parents she had an emotional meltdown. It was a real catch-22 situation. She was holding on to me because I was the only person there, but crying in high ecstatic fashion because I was the only one there.

Was able to avoid meltdown this time. Last time she ate way behind schedule--not really my fault--and I knew that I needed to start getting that stuff down her ASAP. So I walked in and took her straight to the high chair. (BTW, she does an excellent job of keeping her hands down without being told. Which, for those of you who have never fed babies, avoids the spreading of food all over the baby's self.) She was definitely on the edge of tears a couple of times during the evening, but I distracted her with books.

At about 9 pm, she was doing the almost-walking thing, hanging onto my propped up legs, and she laid her head down on my legs and stood there. "Oh yeah, you're worn out." So I swept her up to my chest and her head went straight onto my shoulder. She got that warm heavy feeling that shows up when she's not moving around, when she's tired, when she's on the edge of sleep. I thought, "Wow, for about two and a half hours now, you have been completely relying on me--for food, for care, for safety."

This is what happens when we are dependent on God. We are babies, maybe even more so, for we rely on him for every breath. And that's the place I need to find, where I need to live--completely reliant. I think I can and should do so much. That place where I stand alone is a place where I do not trust.

I want to be like Analeasa trusting her Uncle Mike--partly because she loves him, but completely because she has to.

For life, and breath, and daily food, we give you thanks, O Lord.

Straight Up

I tell ya, there's nothing much more encouraging than having a really good conversation with your pastor, especially when you don't know how he's gonna react to what you put on the table. Oh yeah. Unfortunately, the content will remain confidential. Those of you who want details, just go think about something else. Like how God reveals himself to us. Or war. Or poverty. Even coffee.

And, I haven't shaved for two days. That doesn't bode well for my shaving experience on Sunday morning, since I refuse to shave on Saturday. Well, maybe for weddings. But nothing else.

Quote of the Day

"Ok, I am NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE for you looking good!!! That is NOT my fault!!!"

Furthermore, it is nothing to apologize for. Nope.

Vienna

sail your sea
meet your storm
all I want is to be your harbor
the light in me
will guide you home
all I want is to be your harbor

It’s not unusual to see someone leave her high tech job these days to seek out new adventures. But how many of them wind up performing on the Late Show with David Letterman less than six months later?

With her graceful melodies and evocative lyrics, Vienna Teng has garnered critical acclaim and a rapidly growing legion of fans throughout the world. Her days are now filled with interviews and sold-out performances. Needless to say, it has been an abrupt shift from her cubicle days.

The evolution from hobby to full-time job happened gradually, as an appreciative audience began forming around the music she created while attending Stanford, where she graduated in 2000 with a degree in Computer Science. "I realized how much my songs could affect people - that they had some value. People wanted to hear them and wanted to make them a part of their lives." Her first "concerts" were impromptu events, consisting of curious students gathering around the dorm lounge piano as she played and sang. They started to recognize her songs - and to request them. Bootleg tapes and MP3s of rough recordings circulated around campus. People started asking when the CD was coming out, which led Vienna to record _Waking Hour_ when she wasn’t attending class or studying.

SNOOOOWWW Day

Wow, what to do with today? Catch up on sleep, catch up on movies, catch up on reading? Maybe some blog maintenance, as it has looked like I've been reading the same books and listening to the same music for three months.

What a gift. Snow day. Snow day. Snow day.

"On Some Level,

punk [music] and Buddhism are underpinned by a similar premise: Both acknowledge that the planet is brimming with unhappiness. The question is how you confront that misery."

A.C. Thompson, writer, in Punk Planet

Now Is Not The Time For Rest

"We may be in a period where we are called upon to do the hard work.  Perhaps the fields are white for harvest; perhaps they are not.  Our task is to be faithful whether we are in an easy generation where all things are ready to be harvested, or whether we are in a difficult, dark time when we are supposed to continue to scatter the seed of the good news whether people are responding or not."

Dr. Wade Bradshaw

Tuesday Topic

Would you rather be laughed at for something you're proud of or be completely unnoticed by everyone?

For W

'I will be your solid ground

I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life

When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so Brite'

Sarah McLachlan

Monday's Oswald

Paul’s idea of service was to pour his life out to the last drop for others. And whether he received praise or blame made no difference. As long as there was one human being who did not know Jesus, Paul felt a debt of service to that person until he did come to know Him. But the chief motivation behind Paul’s service was not love for others but love for his Lord. If our devotion is to the cause of humanity, we will be quickly defeated and broken-hearted, since we will often be confronted with a great deal of ingratitude from other people. But if we are motivated by our love for God, no amount of ingratitude will be able to hinder us from serving one another.

My Utmost For His Highest

Conversation

"I keep skipping forward in my mind, thinking what if..."

"We have to enjoy this time--discovering more about each other, laughing, teasing, crying, doing the hard conversation--but hold this with an open hand. 'Cause while we may know where we want to go, nothing is certain. But yeah, it's hard, it's like Harry says in that movie, once you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"Death...Comes For Us All"

"See Rock City" Barn Painter Dies

February 20, 2004

CHATTANOOGA (AP) -- Clark Byers, who painted "See Rock City" on barns in 19 states, has died at 89.

Byers braved charging bulls, slippery roofs and lightning to adorn rural barns with his advertising message for three decades.

The Trenton, Georgia resident died this week. His funeral is Friday afternoon in Trenton.

Byers began in 1937, offering to paint the barns of farmers who allowed him to add "See Rock City" to the roofs. He also gave them souvenirs from the Lookout Mountain, Georgia tourist attraction.

By the time he retired in 1969, Byers had painted about 900 barns.

Among the slogans, "To miss Rock City would be a pity."

Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady

I figure if I blog every couple of days you won't forget about me. I write, therefore I am? Hmm.

This weekend will be much more low key than last. Which is good. Can't handle constant entertaining. And I'll get to sleep in my own bed. Instead of the couch. Do tons of studying. About epidemic diseases, starting with the 1918 influenza. Watched a PBS video on it today, and one of the things that they brought up near the end is how noone really remembers it. Like America kind of forgot all these people died because it was too painful. It is just not in our collective memory. I'd never heard about it before I started doing the prep for this course.

The population segment that it liked was people who were 21-29. Other ages died too, of course, but it went for the people who were, in many ways, the healthiest.

Could it happen again? One of the last statements, near the end, was: "The more we learn about the flu virus, the more we think it could happen again.

W. is watching the middle of _Braveheart_. Lonely lonely bagpipes.

My bed is littered with clothes from this morning's and this evening's attempts to avoid a wardrobe malfunction. I'm not sure I have succeeded. Oh, dressing to impress is such a crock. I'd like to just have a few pants and shirts of black, life would be easier, I wouldn't always have this crisis of choice.

Gotta go. Time for dinner.

New Favorite Descriptor

'Wardrobe malfunction.'

Ain't No Hurry, No Need To Worry

It's a rainy Sunday, I'm taking care of the kids, well, they're watching a movie while I take some time out for writing. What a full weekend--a birthday party, weekend guests, chips and dip, sleeping on the couch, fighing the mama of all sinus headaches, gearing up to meet my housemate's fiancee for the very first time, getting bad news from South Carolina.

You know, I've stopped being happy every time the phone rings. I used to think, "Wow, someone wants to talk to me." Now, it could be anything. Death could stretch across a continent and an ocean from the roads of Moscow, Idaho to the basement of an Irish pub in Germany. Separation shows up from the ocean edge of South Carolina. "Where are you?" becomes a very important question. "Where are you? What can I do for you? How did it come to this?"

I can hear it in your voice, I immediately know that you are not where you should be, mentally, physically, spiritually. I don't know how you can be so calm, and I wonder if calm indicates despair. It has come to this, and here we are. Here I will stand, even if there is nothing else I can do. Here I stand by you. I'll take you where we all need to go--to prayer.

You know, I know you know this, a brother and sister don't take vows to always love and cherish each other. But God put you in my life for a lifetime, and we are called to walk through certain times together, through laughter and tears, through birth and death, and I will rejoice when you rejoice and weep when you weep. Whatever I can fight and conquer for you I will. I will stand by your side, I will even stand in front of you when you need your brother. Here we are, and here I stand. This is love, and though we do not share genetic blood, this blood is strong. Despite what the actual family tree might say, you are my sister, I am your brother, and I stand with you.

Weekend Plans

tonight:
Bebo Norman, Amy Grant, Mercy Me concert in Birmingham with sister

tomorrow:
clean house, study
S. and J. and 4 kids arrive
7 pm birthday party for A.

Sunday:
worship
lunch
worship
dinner party with Wigginshire, S. and J., and W.'s fiancee

Wigginshire

Oswald

We were hoping that it was He who was going to redeem Israel. Indeed, besides all this, today is the third day since these things happened
—Luke 24:21

Every fact that the disciples stated was right, but the conclusions they drew from those facts were wrong. Anything that has even a hint of dejection spiritually is always wrong. If I am depressed or burdened, I am to blame, not God or anyone else. Dejection stems from one of two sources—I have either satisfied a lust or I have not had it satisfied. In either case, dejection is the result. Lust means "I must have it at once." Spiritual lust causes me to demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Himself who gives the answer. What have I been hoping or trusting God would do? Is today "the third day" and He has still not done what I expected? Am I therefore justified in being dejected and in blaming God? Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track. The purpose of prayer is that we get ahold of God, not of the answer. It is impossible to be well physically and to be dejected, because dejection is a sign of sickness. This is also true spiritually. Dejection spiritually is wrong, and we are always to blame for it.

We look for visions from heaven and for earth-shaking events to see God’s power. Even the fact that we are dejected is proof that we do this. Yet we never realize that all the time God is at work in our everyday events and in the people around us. If we will only obey, and do the task that He has placed closest to us, we will see Him. One of the most amazing revelations of God comes to us when we learn that it is in the everyday things of life that we realize the magnificent deity of Jesus Christ.

from _My Utmost For His Highest_

I'm The Feature Presentation

I have this feeling that Thursday, this semester, is always gonna be the day that is Hades on wheels. This is what happened today:

4 am get up, make coffee, finish lecture, email lecture to work
6:30 arrive on campus, rearrange disparate details of lecture, print lecture
8 teach
915 breakfast then work
11 small group chapel, today I blessed 'em out about showing up on time: "I love ya'll and I'm looking forward to spending spring break with you, but you have got to show up on time. If you have a problem with promptness, fix it."
11:40 lunch meeting, including lots of fresh tortilla chips, cheese dip, and chicken chimichanga
12:53 pm finally pay check, rush back to work
1:10 reschedule 2 pm meeting, work on stuff
5 yearbook meeting
6:15 go home
6:30 house dinner
8 Calvin study

All of that requires high level functioning. So now I'm a basket case.

Covenant has the best security guards ever

From the campus bulletin board:

The security guard seems to have misplaced the spare key to his mother's Chevy Cavalier.  He is looking for it and is not quite sure where he dropped it.  It is a single key with a keychain that has some saying on it and my mind is pressed to remember what that saying is.  If you find the key, could you please take it to someone who will be in contact with our security guard.  Thanks.  Have a goodn.

Yeah, Good Luck--My Little Rant

Why do people mark their emails as important/urgent? Do they think that that little red exclamation point has ANY chance of distinguishing their message from the 53 unread, equally important messages in my inbox?

Whatever.

Also...why do people think that I'm going to be able to respond to their email immediately? Don't send me an email at 3:30 pm and expect me to have responded by 8 am the next day. Here, let me give you a little look into my life--let me show you all the things I had to accomplish in the few hours I wasn't in the office--like laundry and lectures--and all the things I didn't do for myself yesterday--swimming and paying the bills--and let me tell you how much sleep I DIDN'T get last night.

I know your life is important and I am working very hard to fulfill your need for information. But if it isn't urgent, give me at least 24 hours. If it is urgent, call me. Really.

Wow. I feel better, do you?

Break

I'm taking a hiatus. For at least a couple of days, maybe the week. Got too much to do at work, and too many other things going on. I'm gonna pull out that list of things I'm doing this semester and re-prioritize. I am really thankful that it looks like all I have to do for my housemate's weddings is show up in formal wear that fits. I need to think about going away presents for them. One I've figured out and it's gonna be cool. The other...is more difficult.

Ok, I'm off to write lectures. What a weird thing to say.