Young Marriage

For those of you who don't know, Genia and I got married the day after my 20th birthday. She was 22 at the time, so we would definitely fall into the category of "people who got married young." We often get met with questions as to why we wanted to get "tied down" so young or why we didn't wait until finishing college. The cultural norm, even within the church, seems to put education, status, and money above marriage these days. Genia and I bucked the trend, as did my younger brother Joel. So I like to defend the notion of getting married at a young age when I can.

Right now there's a good discussion going at the Boar's Head Tavern about young marriage, which came about as one member asked for advice on how to counsel an 18 year old friend who just got engaged. There are a couple great articles on the subject that offer well-reasoned defenses of getting married young.

First, this post by fellow blogger The Dane argues in favor of young marriage from a solid Biblical perspective. His essay is thoroughly centered on Christ, with whom all things are possible. He reminds us that the scriptures teach "it is better to marry than to burn." The church at large believes Paul when he says "it is better to marry than to burn." The problem is that they have added "but it is better still to sign a True Love Waits pledge card, and wait... an unnaturally long time, until you're older, more educated, and wealthier."" The Dane also readily handles the question of immaturity:

That is one of the beauties of the marriage of believers: God will work between the two who are one and mold them further toward the image of his Son. Is not his grace sufficient for all things?

Another excellent essay, from Orthodox writer Frederica Mathewes-Green, relates the subject of young marriage to the problems of teen pregnancy and the expectation of immaturity that our culture has placed on teens. I was pleased to see her calling for us to raise our expectations of an age group that has gone in a couple of generations from working hard and raising families to mooching off of their parents and partying in Cancun as they "find themselves" and "enjoy their youth." Mathewes-Green's essay also challenges natural families and church families to surround young couples with support, both practical and spiritual, another factor that made it easier for young couples to marry in times past.

Overall, I think there are a good number of reasons to support young people who wish to get married, and to challenge the perspectives of those young people who feel they should wait until they have acheived the cultural definition of success before getting married.

Posted by JohnH at January 23, 2004 01:08 PM | TrackBack