A Peck of Gold

Your Stance on Gays/Lesbians Is...

A very controversial subject these days. Thank you, Tony, for putting me in the hot seat! Just kidding. Actually, in my mind, it's pretty simple. I think it's wrong. Period. I believe the Bible teaches us that it's a sin, and since I believe the Bible to be true, there you have it. I know that's not a popular idea in today's society, but that's what I believe.

I think the real question to ask is, how should Christians respond to it? My first response is, with love. Christ loved sinners. He reached out to them. My second response is, with honesty. Christ didn't mince words. I think that is crucial, especially in today's politically correct society. I think sometimes we go too far in our efforts not to be judgemental or turn people off from the gospel. We water it down, we bend over backwards to apologize for speaking the truth sometimes.

So, my philosophy is to speak the Truth in Love. If I try to do either without the other, I am in sin.

I don't know if you wanted me to debate whether homosexuality is a sin or not, but I hope I answered your question about where I stand on the matter.

As usual, please feel free to post comments, but be respectful of each other. Thanks!

Booo!

Scared you, didn't I? You thought I abandoned you. Well, I didn't. But, Reader Appreciation Week is now offically renamed to Reader Appreciation Month. I thought I could squeeze it all in, but this has been a really busy time for me. I am on my last week of training at work now, and that's taken over my brain at the moment. I am also still running the kids to and fro, so I've not had a lot of spare time or energy to commit to it lately.

But, the end is in sight. Once I work my regular schedule, life should become normal again... hopefully!!

I'll blog more later tonight. Now it's vege out time. Couch, here I come.

If My Ten Favorite Authors Were Sitting Around A Table

I'd be totally tongue-tied. I can tell you right now, I'd freeze up and possibly pass out. Well, maybe I could get a word or two out, but I suspect they wouldn't make any sense.

Now, the real question is, what ten people would that be? And am I willing to post that list on this site, where I am subject to ridicule and mockery?? Dare I?Amy Tan, Robert Jordan, Victoria Holt, Sharon Kay Penman those are certainly my favorite adult contemporary authors. Scott O'Dell, J.K. Rawlings, and Madeliene L'Engle would have been my favorite children's writers. Alexander Dumas, George Eliot, John Donne, a few of the classics.

I think more importantly, what could I serve at this table that would make them all happy?

Maybe it could just be a wine and cheese kind of thing.

I'm thinking about this a little too much, huh? Don't want to get too ahead of myself. I haven't even sent the invitations out yet.

Hospital Bloopers

How about we just rename this "Hospital Law Suits".

A hospital is a place where you just don't want a lot of bloopers to occur. In a place where things are routinely cut off, cut open, or birthed, you don't really want big mixups!

I haven't been around much to hear the stories/ urban legends yet, so I'll just relay a little hospital humor that supposedly came from real medical charts. I don't know if that's true, but it cracked me up just to read it.

Actual writings on hospital charts:

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third
day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me
in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally
alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another
hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past
three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of
her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car
for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus
sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he
took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt
we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities.

Audience Participation Update

4 Down, 6 to Go!! In case any of you guys don't know why I've writing the stuff I have lately, go here to catch up.

Managing Your Time Between Work, Family and Yourself

Everybody answers this differently. For me, I still struggle to find a balance. I really want to be good at all the things I do. I want to be a good mom and wife, and good human being. I wish I could dedicate more time to all three of those aspects of my life. Unfortunately, there's only one of me, and only a certain number of hours in the day. I have learned to prioritize, and to think more long term. Some things I can put off until another time in my life. I have so many various things I am interested in, that I could easily spread myself too thin. So, I've chosen one thing for myself that really makes me happy for right now: writing. That's my luxury. This blog is my luxury item. I dedicate free time to this one thing, and that way I get a lot more out of it. I've also started taking time to keep myself healthy, and I don't view this as a "luxury" anymore. It's a necessity, and there's no reason to feel guilty for taking care of myself. I try to work out several times a week, and even though it takes me away from other responsibilities temporarily, in the long run it keeps me available because I'm healthier and will live longer.

Surprisingly, when I take care of myself in those ways, I am able to be a better mom, wife, employee. For a long time, I had slipped into defining myself merely by those roles, and I wasn't really satisfied. I wasn't unhappy in those roles, but there's more to a woman than those things. It's so easy to forget that. It's actually easier and lazier to hide behind those roles than to come out and say, "You know what? I'm an individual. I've got interests and opinions." I know, because I did that for a while. I was too lazy or tired to be more than I absolutely had to be. Then I realized that I didn't want to be this domestic robot that I was turning myself into. I regained the balance that I needed.

With my children, I always try to keep in mind that these days are numbered. Some people can't wait for their kids to get older... not me. I greedily hang onto to every moment of their childhood, savoring the dependance and abundance of love and adoration they have for me. This doesn't mean I don't get frustrated sometimes, and tired. All mothers do. But I never forget how lucky I am, or how fast life passes by. So I try to let go of the stuff that doesn't matter. If the laundry piles up a little, so what? If we play outside instead of putting the dishes away, life still goes on. Those dishes will be there later, this sweet age with the kids won't always be.

At work, I try to focus on what I'm doing. I really want to give it my full attention and do a good job. Not because I'm a goodie two shoes or anything... I was just raised that way. My parents have strong work ethics and they taught me how important that was. If I have to be at work, I'm going to do the best I can. Then, when work is over... it's over. I don't think about it anymore. I don't bring it home. I won't let it interfere with those other areas of life, or things get out of balance again.

So, did that cover it? I didn't write about marriage yet, but I'll try to get to that one later. That seems like a good topic to focus on by itself.

Level Lock: My First Rap

Level lock
Gun shaking in your fingers
You got shell shock
From the madness that lingers

No way, you say
I know that didn't happen
Didn't go down that way
Your mouth was just flappin

Then all at once
Trigger is sliding
What started as mouthin
Turns into bullets colliding

Wipe the sweat, ditch the gun
Suppress the whimper
And maybe next time
Try to control yo' temper.

Word.

Why I think My Sister Ashley Is The Coolest Girl Ever

I am tempted to do an anagram of A-S-H-L-E-Y, but since I'm no longer in the fourth grade, I think I can probably come up with something a little more original. It's hard though, because to put a lifetime friendship into a few sentances is no easy task. I will do my best.

My sister brightens a room when she walks in. She has a beautiful smile, and it is genuine and warm. She has a big, open heart, and she wears it on her sleeve. You can look her in the eye and know that what you are seeing is the real her. Despite being a very pretty woman, she is humble and kind and never elevates herself above anybody else. She has this great ability to empathize with people, truly connect and feel for others. She tries not to be judgemental or critical, and it allows her to be close to people who really need a friend.

She makes things happen for herself. She looks ahead, and she always stays positive. She has goals and dreams, and she reaches them. Some have already happened, others are still in the works. She's worked hard to get where she is today, and her rewards are well earned. I am proud of her.

She forgives me when I have a big mouth, and she lets me know that she values our relationship. She doesn't complain that I don't call as often as I should, and she never holds that over my head. She extends her love for me to my husband, and my children, and she'll never know how much that means to me.

My sister is the coolest. For all those reasons, and so many more. She was the very first friend I ever had, and she'll always be the best one.

Aw, what the heck. I'll do the anagram, too.

A- Altruistic
S- Sincere
H- Happy
L- Luminous
E- Enigmatic
Y- Youthful

"Rare Asian Walrus Asphyxiates After Eating Trainer's Shoes"

He stared at the headline in frustration, and crumpled the paper in his hands. How did it come to this?, he asked himself sorely. I was a serious journalist! I busted my ass in college and internships and I've got the debt to prove it! When did I become such a sellout? Such a loser?

With an angry sweep of his arm, he sent papers flying off the desk, until the surface was clean. He didn't want to look at the dozens of ridiculous headlines and articles that littered his office anymore. He felt shame and depression at the thought that his name followed such literary sludge. The walls of the seedy little office seemed to close in on him, and he buried his head in his arms.

"Feeling sorry for yourself again, Campbell?"

"Screw you," came his muffled reply.

"Let me tell you what your problem is. You write an absurd article about something you could care less about, then you beat yourself up about it for days. And the next week, instead of getting out there and writing something worth reading, you just write the same article again. You're all whine, and no change."

Campbell glared up at the woman standing in his doorway. "I don't need this from you!" he said hotly.

"Look. This job, well, it's fine for some people. It's just a job to them, they don't worry about anything but clocking in and out, and taking a paycheck home at the end of the day. Then, there are people like you."

"People like me? And what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Oh, come off it. You know you're different from most people around here. You have talent and you're just squandering it here in this joke of a paper."

"But that's it, don't you get it? I don't have the talent! I don't have anything to say anymore! Maybe I did at one time, but now I'm just old and washed up, and..." His voice trailed off.

The lady eyed him with contempt. "Excuses. You're just afraid."

"Why do you even care?" he asked sullenly.

"That's a very stupid thing to say," she said. "Every day, you die a little bit here. It's time to leave."

"I know," he said quietly. "But I miss you."

Her face softened, and her words were almost a whisper. "Campbell, life is about having and losing things. Now, it's time to let go of the loss. Time to start living again. Time to start caring about things again."

"I don't know if I can do that. Not without you."

She smiled at him, that old familiar smile, and it made his bones ache. "You can," she said. "You were always the strong one."

He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, she was gone.

He sat in the office by himself, looking at the objects that had marked his recent career. The plaques, the coffee mugs, the occasional award, and then his eyes settled on the framed picture that had landed on the floor along with the other papers.

The woman in the picture smiled up at him. Three years, he told himself. Three long years you fought, but in the end, the cancer was too much. You say I'm the strong one, but really, it was you.

He looked around again, trying to decide what was worth taking from this dark period of his life, what was worth remembering. He picked up the picture and traced the outline of his wife with shaking fingertips. You always knew how to set me straight. You never let me feel sorry for myself. Thank you, sweetheart. He clutched the frame to his chest, and turned his back on the room, turned his back on the life he'd sunken into since her death.

And with that, he left. Time to start living again.

Audience Participation

Starting Monday, it's Reader Appreciation Week here at APOG. In honor of that, I'm going to let you guys decide what you want to read. You simply submit a blog title, whatever you want it to be, and I'm going to write an entry to go with it. Oh yeah baby, it's cutting edge, revolutionary, finger on the pulse of America over here!

Inner dialogue: "Boy, am I going to feel sorry for myself if nobody does this. I'm gonna look so stupid!! Oh, the humiliation!"

Friday Freakout

Oh sweet hallelujah, tommorow is Friday!!!

FER-RYE-DAY, People!! Come on, get up out yer seats and say, "Yeah"

I can't hear you!

Now I remember why people like Fridays so much. They freaking rock. Goodbye office! Goodbye paperwork! Goodbye telephone that never stops ringing!!

Nah, it wasn't too bad, I actually had a very productive week, but still... a weekend is a glorious thing and I intend to make the most of it! If you see me, it will be in tennis shoes and comfy clothes and no makeup. And I'm probably the one sleeping on the couch, too.

Well, I'm off. I'll leave you with a good old standby, the Friday Five. Feel free to join in!

Have a lovely one everybody...

1. What was the last song you heard?Michelle Branch on the radio. I know she's uber-pop, but I like that chic.

2. What were the last two movies you saw?Hidalgo. I like horses as much as the next person, but pulease... enough already. Before that it was Dickie Roberts. We are now part of a class action suit to get our $4 back for that dismal failure of a movie. (oooh, I sound really peeved, don't I?!)

3. What were the last three things you purchased?Let's see. Guns. Drugs. Strippers. You know, the basics. Oh all right, really it's diapers, applejuice, and some lip gloss for moi.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?Finish my benefits paperwork for work, laundry, spend some time with the kids, and make a trip up to see P's parents.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to? not counting the people in the house, Amy V., my mom, Katy W., Rachel Huber, and a nice lady telemarketer for Bellsouth. I try to talk to her at least once a day, preferably right in the middle of making or eating dinner. It's such a nice interruption to my day. It's even more fun when it's not actually a person, but a recording. That makes it just that much more special.

Now, your turn!

Names

I met a woman today named "Creola". I'm betting that you'll only find that in Louisiana. (She was nice, by the way. I'm not making fun of her, I just found it interesting.)

I also met an Orangejello, (pronounced O'Rongelo). No, just kidding. I'm pretty sure that's an urban myth. BUT, my mom, who works in a labor and delivery ward, told me that a patient overheard the doctor say a word that she thought was pretty, so she named her child that.

It was Placenta.

No joke.

25 Things...

...You May Not Know About Me:

25. I am a terrible wreath-maker.
24. I am very afraid an alligator is going to "get me" when I water ski.
23. So, I don't water ski much.
23. I won't drink milk if I have to smell it first to see if it's good.
22. The chore I hate the most is putting away silverware.
21. A close second is matching socks.
20. I still have my first retainer from elementary school!
19. It grosses me out, but I can't seem to throw it away.
18. I used to write myself letters to be opened in the future.
17. I still have one left to read when I turn fifty.
16. I don't know if I can wait that long, though.
15. As a kid, I pretended to have a mechanical knee.
14. I talked to it like it was Kit from Knightrider.
13. I used to secretly be afraid my stuffed animals and dolls came to life after I went to sleep at night.
12. So, I was very careful to tell them equally all good night, and show no partiality in case they got mad at me.
11. I'm serious about that.
10. Once or twice, I missed the bus on purpose so Mom would have to take me to school.
9. I feel really bad about that now that I think about it.
8. I still don't know the name of one of the ladies at church, and I talk to her every single time.
7. It's way too late to ask now, and I'll probably never know it.
6. I refuse to wear the color yellow.
5. I will never eat anchovies.
4. I don't really know what anchovies are.
3. I felt a spiritual connection to Joey McIntyre from New Kids On The Block.
2. I'm pretty sure he felt the same way.

And 1. I've been waiting to do this for six months so I wouldn't be copying Christin when she did it.

Cheers everybody- here's to being the real You!!

Listenin'

Being a Monday, I can always use a little pick me up. A band that never fails to put me in a good mood: The La's. You may remember the song "There She Goes" from So I Married An Axemurder. Another really good one by them is "Timeless Melody". I could put those two on repeat and listen to it all day.

A few more on my playlist, Coldplay "Clocks", Luce "Good Day", All American Rejects "The Last Song", Lit "I'm in Over My Head".

You also can't go wrong with Enya, The Cranberries, Sheryl Crowe- those always stay at the top of my pile.

I'm not exactly cutting edge, I know. I pick them as I hear them, and I'll listen to it until I've overdosed on them. I'm not a music snob, I like a lot of different stuff. Those are just a few of my Mellow Feel Good tunes. Maybe next time, I'll list my Workout music, or the Pity Party music, or the Shake Your Bum music, which crosses into the Let's Get Motivated to Clean The House music a good bit. This could become a regular feature, who knows!

Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that out there. I know you all were just dying to know what I listen to!

Happy Monday, folks!

I'm Slow, but Bright.

A Ridiculously Good Mood

You know what's a really neat part of my day? Welcoming and directing the grandparents to meet their new grandchild... They are so excited and in a hurry-- and I get to be part of it for a little second. I look at them and know that today may just be another day at work for me, but it's one of the most special days of their lives.

In other news, the kids are home again, and I'm glad to have them back. I'm trying to arrange childcare for them for the next two weeks while I train, and that's a hassle, but we'll get it worked out. After training, I'll go to my regular evening shift and I won't have to worry about that anymore.

I am happy.
And a little tired.

Patrick and I have been talking about this phase of life we've reached (remember I mentioned it already?) As it turns out, he's going through something similiar. I think there are several things that are going on that have brought this on. For Patrick, he's in school with alot of people who try to expand themselves, they have a broad scope of things they are interested in. Lots of his friends cultivate new hobbies and interests just to improve themselves. That's rubbed off on Patrick a bit, and he's taken up bonsai and some other things. For me, I think a lot of it has to do with the emphasis I've had lately on creative writing.

But underneath it all is the fact that soon, our twenties are over. We both turn 29 this year, and I think we have begun a mental preparation to enter our thirties. And, I find myself unexpectedly looking forward to our next decade. I think it will be a time when we become well rounded, self actualized, to borrow a psychological term. Turning 30 is such a big deal these days, but not in a good way. You're suddenly "over the hill"... past your prime... What a depressing thing to face, and yet...

I feel great relief and excitement to realize that's not how it's going to be for me, or for Patrick. It's not that we want to be kids forever, or freeze those moments of youth. I wouldn't trade the person I've become for the person I was... and that's a wonderful feeling. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, nor am I in love with myself. I'm just happy, and my eyes are turned towards a future that is bright.

30, here I come.

But first, 29... let's not get too ahead of ourselves.

I Just Wanna Know...

Who's the jerk in charge of the cost of gas these days?

Monday Misc.

Orientation began today. My brain is aching from so much hospital policy, quality assurance, and benefits package options. I have more of that tommorow, then training in my department. I'll also have a full day of computer program training, and hopefully wrap it all up by Friday.

Aside from all the blah blah blah in orientation, I think I'm going to really enjoy this job, and at this hospital. It seems like a great place to work!

Anyway, the kids are with their grandparents for a few days, so Patrick and I are going to make the most of it. We're going to celebrate my new job tonight with dinner and the movies! Whoohoo!!

Nuff for now. I'll write later, I'm sure I'll have lots to write about as the week progresses.

Remembering A Day

I set my bag down in the sand, and looked out at the sunset. I put my chair just within reach of the lapping waves, and settled in with a sigh of relief. I wiggled my toes as the salty waves washed over them, and I put my hand on my pregnant belly.

The sounds of gulls, and waves, and families playing in the water soothed my ears. Sometimes city noises, those artificial sounds, misuse that great sense, and all you want to hear is laughter and nature. What a balm to weary ears.

The sun cast orange colors which splashed through the clouds, and bounced off the gently rolling waters. I felt myself falling into the rhythm of life here, anxieties and troubles swept away by the tide like sandcastles. Lulled and relaxed, I let go.

I memorized that moment, the salty breeze, the fresh air, the warm sun on my face, the water and sand... It's all still there in my mind. It's one of my favorite places to go when life is too intrusive. It was one of the Perfect Times. On the thresh-hold of becoming a mother, and surrounded by the ocean - a ceaseless cycle of life in itself, I had such peace and contentment, a kind I'd never had before.

I left the beach that day, knowing I'd never be able to recreate it, knowing a moment had come and gone in my life that was significant. I realized though, that when you are gifted with clarity and beauty, you always carry it with you. That day, I took a little bit of the sunset home with me. And now, when I look at my little girl, I know exactly where it went.

Joining the Ranks of The Employed

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I interviewed for a job that I really wanted. I found out today, I got it! What a nice feeling that is. The job is a unit secretary position in the labor and delivery department of a hospital. It's 3p-11, and it's very close to home. I'll be doing a lot of chartwork and computer things, plus directing people/ answering phones, etc. Some people find that kind of work tedious, but I actually enjoy it. I love being organized, and I'll admit that probably makes me somewhat of a nerd. But, it also makes a job like this perfect for me.

I have mixed feelings about it. Mostly, I am very excited to be getting back to work. It's been four years since I had a "real" job, so I'm looking forward to a change. On the other hand, it's a little hard to divide myself from my kids. I've had the luxury of staying home with them this whole time, and I will miss them, and Patrick, too. The good thing though, is that with this schedule, the kids won't have to go to any kind of childcare center. If they aren't with me, they'll be with Patrick, and that will be good for all of them.

So, that's my latest news. I don't think this will affect my blogging much, but it's hard to tell at this point. We'll just have to see how things go, I guess.

All for now!