A Peck of Gold

Managing Your Time Between Work, Family and Yourself

Everybody answers this differently. For me, I still struggle to find a balance. I really want to be good at all the things I do. I want to be a good mom and wife, and good human being. I wish I could dedicate more time to all three of those aspects of my life. Unfortunately, there's only one of me, and only a certain number of hours in the day. I have learned to prioritize, and to think more long term. Some things I can put off until another time in my life. I have so many various things I am interested in, that I could easily spread myself too thin. So, I've chosen one thing for myself that really makes me happy for right now: writing. That's my luxury. This blog is my luxury item. I dedicate free time to this one thing, and that way I get a lot more out of it. I've also started taking time to keep myself healthy, and I don't view this as a "luxury" anymore. It's a necessity, and there's no reason to feel guilty for taking care of myself. I try to work out several times a week, and even though it takes me away from other responsibilities temporarily, in the long run it keeps me available because I'm healthier and will live longer.

Surprisingly, when I take care of myself in those ways, I am able to be a better mom, wife, employee. For a long time, I had slipped into defining myself merely by those roles, and I wasn't really satisfied. I wasn't unhappy in those roles, but there's more to a woman than those things. It's so easy to forget that. It's actually easier and lazier to hide behind those roles than to come out and say, "You know what? I'm an individual. I've got interests and opinions." I know, because I did that for a while. I was too lazy or tired to be more than I absolutely had to be. Then I realized that I didn't want to be this domestic robot that I was turning myself into. I regained the balance that I needed.

With my children, I always try to keep in mind that these days are numbered. Some people can't wait for their kids to get older... not me. I greedily hang onto to every moment of their childhood, savoring the dependance and abundance of love and adoration they have for me. This doesn't mean I don't get frustrated sometimes, and tired. All mothers do. But I never forget how lucky I am, or how fast life passes by. So I try to let go of the stuff that doesn't matter. If the laundry piles up a little, so what? If we play outside instead of putting the dishes away, life still goes on. Those dishes will be there later, this sweet age with the kids won't always be.

At work, I try to focus on what I'm doing. I really want to give it my full attention and do a good job. Not because I'm a goodie two shoes or anything... I was just raised that way. My parents have strong work ethics and they taught me how important that was. If I have to be at work, I'm going to do the best I can. Then, when work is over... it's over. I don't think about it anymore. I don't bring it home. I won't let it interfere with those other areas of life, or things get out of balance again.

So, did that cover it? I didn't write about marriage yet, but I'll try to get to that one later. That seems like a good topic to focus on by itself.