broken news:breaking headlines
Alphabet Home
“Without going into to much detail,” said Lahr Heferhef, chairperson of the Alphanumeric Development Consortium, “the beta version of the new alphabet that would see some significant changes to some letters.”
“The Letter H has always been problematic.”, continued Heferhef. “Unfortunately, its presence causes many issues that cascade down into the entire language. When testing completes on the Beta release, this letter will be completely removed.”
As well as dropping the popular letter H, the consortium has also recommended that an extra loop be added to all capital W’s and that the letter X be deprecated. It is therefore recommended that the letter X be used sparingly in this next release, as it will most likely be absent from subsequent alphabets.
“This is a positive step forward,” said Heferhef. “We believe this next release will be the finest alphabet to date.”
There has been sharp criticism from the corporate sector, especially from computer giant Hewlett Packard. A spokesperson from the computer company said that they could see a significant loss of market share if they had to change their name to a lone ‘Ewlett Packard’.
Fiorina, the CEO of HP, also spoke with the press. “Yes I’m very concerned. I don’t think that anybody will know what P is! We have worked hard at branding our company as HP and will fight this change tooth and nail. We have been using the prior release of the alphabet for many years and have never had any issues. We do not believe that this change is necessary, nor will it be a good thing for business.”
Fiorina was noticeably angry. However, she conceded that if the changes do take place, HP would have to fall in line. “Once it is gone, it is gone and we will have to move on.”
Proponents of this change include IBM, Gateway and General Electric. Each of these companies has been lobbying for these changes for quite some time.
It is expected that the beta version of this new alphabet will be complete by the end of this month and that the full alpha release of the alphabet will be publicly available sometime in early 2004.
Broken News - Breaking Headlines
The President, who stood in sharp disagreement with the Senate, issued his own statement.
"The Whitehouse will not rest until all Iraqis, or Cubans, whatever you want to call them, are rounded up and interrogated.”
It is expected that the travel ban will be officially lifted sometime early next week.
On major airline released a statement saying, “We’re glad to hear that the people of Cuba have been rescued from the oppressive clutches of Saddam Hussein. We look forward to opening up new routes in and out of that beautiful city.”
Broken News - Breaking Headlines
In a briefing held today at the Whitehouse, United States Secretary of State, Colin Powel, revealed the Governments new initiative to shun the nation of Canada.
"This plan puts to rest the unrest that the people of Montana, Washington and those other Border States have been concerned about.” Powel said. "We will no longer consider Canada as our friend, as an ally, as an enemy or even as a country. For us, they will no longer exist. Terra alba, terra cotta, terra firma!"
When questioned about the government’s tone in relation to the new plan, Mr. Powel could not remember the new plan.
The plan involves three major phases. The first phase is to not answer or return any phone calls from the people of Canada. The second requires the removal of the word 'Canada' from all American produced television shows or movies. And the third step, which has been criticized as being too sinister, involves shutting down the water to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.
Sources in Washington maintain that they were unaware of this alleged country. However, they also mentioned that they would fully endorse the Bill, which is slated for Senate approval sometime later this week
Senate Republican Whip, Mitch McConnell was unavailable for comment but left a prepared statement for the press. In his statement, he verified that the Canada does have nation status but that fact alone should not necessitate the attention of the US Government.
In an uncommon show of nonpartisanship, Minority Leader Tom Daschle agreed. "Yes, I have heard of Canada,” he said. "The people there are boring. I used to hate them. Now, because of this Bill, I know longer have to care."
Broken News - Breaking Headlines
The study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine has been widely criticized by dentists and parents. It indicates that dentifrice reacts adversely with the routine behavior of tooth brushing and can cause 'uncontrolled and dangerous' behaviors. It further claims that the dangerous side effects of this ‘lethal’ combination are the strongest in children between the ages of 12 and 19.
The response to this finding has been very strong.
"Frankly, I'm outraged,” said one dentist who wished to remain anonymous although mentioned his name was Emmet Robins. "This is a throwback to the middle ages when people didn't brush their teeth and dentists were more like blood-letters!".
One parent mentioned her disbelief that such a study would be published. "My children will still be brushing their teeth!” said Mrs. White, a playschool teacher and mother of 9. "I do not believe this for one second, although I will have to think about it.”
However, children everywhere were expressing relief that they would finally be able to determine the feelings of rebellion they have been experiencing.
“This gives me hope for tomorrow,” said one 9th grader. “I can finally put more effort into my schoolwork now that my emotions are under control.”
The study concluded by suggesting that although brushing can be a positive experience for adults and younger children, teenagers should be encouraged to just 'skip brushing' for the remainder of their adolescence.
As another example that the internet is in love with itself, there is an interesting article published on the internet about the internet. Blog on |CNET.com. Actually it was a blog about blogging.
As my friend put it, blogging is for students and the unemployed.
There is an article by Matt Welch from the Columbia Journal Review that weighs in on our discussion about the purpose and intent of the blog.
I'm not sure I agree with his conclusion which states:
| "Which is not to say that 90 percent of news-related blogs aren't crap. First of all, 90 percent of any new form of expression tends to be mediocre (think of band demos, or the cringe-inducing underground papers of years gone by), and judging a medium by its worst practitioners is not very sporting. Still, almost every criticism about blogs is valid - they often are filled with cheap shots, bad spelling, the worst kind of confirmation bias, and an extremely off-putting sense of self-worth (one that this article will do nothing to alleviate). But the "blogosphere," as many like to pompously call it, is too large and too varied to be defined as a single thing, and the action at the top 10 percent is among the most exciting new trends the profession has seen in a while. Are bloggers journalists? Will they soon replace newspapers?" |
From the perspective of Blogs as journalism, sure. This blog not withstanding, there is plenty of crap out there (here). But I believe journalism to be one purpose and not the sole purpose.
I do agree however that whatever the purpose, the writer should always try to create something valuable, even if that value is strictly personal.
But yes, I do agree that proper spelling is very important. Most of the tyme.
[the open source narrative exists as an exercise in collaborative freedom for the purpose of creating the first mass written piece of perfect literature. the following piece of fiction is freely available for reprinting, copying and/or distribution and more importantly it is open for improvements, changes, additions, corrections and complete overhauls. the only request (rule/guideline) is that for any piece of the story that any new author adds, changes, removes, edits, reprints or finds inspiration from; the previous author/authors that inspired the new piece must be cited, linked to and where possible, pinged. (please also include this text itself)]
I claim the goodness of wind beneath the solidarity of the earth. I hold fast to the promise of the night by the beckoning echo of the rising sun. I see beyond the years and past the unknown days into the soon-to-be forgotten memories that have yet to be lived.
I can travel through time.
It’s not what you’d think though. There is no big machine spinning or glittery globe spinning. It is just me and my memories and the bottled power of my own intention and intuition.
But trust me, I can travel through time. I can actually work my way back, step by step and minute by minute, through time. And it is very cool.
However, there is a catch. There is always a catch. Actually two catches; a cosmic double play.
First, I cannot travel forwards into the future. This is a definite drawback, but one which I have come to terms with. And secondly, I have to actually live out the time I am traveling back in equal proportion to the distance I am traveling. This causes more frustration than the inability to move forward into the future. What this means is that for every 5 minutes of time I travel back through, it takes 5 minutes for me to get there. So much for the dinosaurs.
[as a footnote, I think there must be a reason for this. Whoever controls the space/time continuum, and whoever gave me this gift (likely the same being), knew that time travel can cause incredible rifts in both logic and metaphysics (i.e. How is it possible for me to travel to an earlier time of life to visit with myself and what happens to the future that I have left? Do those people simply cease to exist or do they continue their own reality in my absence? And if they continue with their own reality, what happens if I alter the past in some intense way? Would they then all innately be given the knowledge of what I had done or would my actions cause a rift and through this rift birth a new, parallel universe? And how many subsequent parallel universes could I create? Etc, etc, etc.) So the rules of time travel persist. You cannot travel into the future, because the future has not yet happened, and in order to travel into the past, every single piece of every single part of the entire universe must join the time traveler in this journey backwards. How do I know all of this? Implicitly, I don’t. It’s just my theory, but it is also my experience.]
The first time I did it, travel backwards that is, it happened by total and complete accident. Or for those, like myself, who don’t really believe in accidents, it came about by a complex convergence of infinite choices upon a single frame of my existence at the exact moment it was supposed to. I was 10.
Presence takes the blogging case to it's marketing conclusion by putting me in the middle of nowhere.
Mesh has his blogging theory. I have mine. I think we are both right in how our theories work themselves out. However, I believe mesh to be wrong by his motivation.
I see too many people finding guilt in their blog. "I'm sorry, it's been so long since I last posted. . .", etc.
First, this assumes some audience that cares, which doesn't always exist (especially in my case).
Second, and more importantly, it puts the act of personal publishing (blogging) in the realm of work, ordeal, skedule, oppression and/or uncomforatable discipline. I think this is where mesh is wrong and I am right.
The middle of the road isn't always the safest place to play. My Philosoblog
Last year I watched th first season of 24 (kiefer, et al) on DVD because I had to work the evenings it was on.
Yesterday I watched the first 8 episodes of season 2.
It is brutal. I can't see how anyone could have watched this show without the fast forward control. There are so many ridiculous plot contrivances used in this show that it is almost unbearable. Convenient flat tires, people who are unable to act according to the laws of normal human nature for no other reason than the show would end prematurely before the alloted 24 hours. So many stupid decisions that result in stupid things. So much it was unbearable.
I wrote an entry on mydea.ca after watching season 1 with my ideas for season two. Obviously they did not take my advice.
Maybe the show wasn't meant to be watched in 24 straight hours. Spare me the misery. My firend and life partner screamed at the TV, screamed at me (and hit me continually on the right shoulder) because having only one TV and one living room, I in a way forced her to watch it.
How to make 24 a better (or at least watchable) show
or 5 rules for positively watchable narrative development
No one forced me to watch it, i'm just a poor excuse for a man looking for a better excuse for television.