A beautiful image.
Self created, Title: Relais.
Result: http://shell.lomag.net/~blink/
Unfortunately, not such a beautiful entry.
aargh this is so aggravating! I am involved in a relation that is becoming a continuous malignant surprise. Read extended entry for more details.
I'm going to have a hard time figuring out what to do with myself over Christmas Break. I am thinking about going up to MN to visit some friends..some friends that I miss quite a bit. If CyL doesn't need help, I think I'm going to be worthless and broke this holiday season. Well, maybe not worthless..but definately broke!
Its finals week, and yesterday I was up until 2 am working on my Photography portfolio. I am *very* happy with my results and am impressed with the work that I have done over the semester. Finished my lithography final today too, and am crazy happy about the way it turned out :)))) It is definately my best piece of the year.. and I've pulled off some good ones this year too :)
; So December is become a month for finals.. final projects, the end of 2003, the end of innocence or ignorance (whichever you prefer) but unfortunately not the end of this deep seated lonliness I feel beyond the depths of my waking heart. too bad to end on a sad note, but it is definately not a resignation. But hey! on an up beat, I get my car back tomorrow!:)
--------
Its quite a jolt to my little world to have these small epiphanies revealed quite by accident. I think in this situation ignorance is peace, but I feel myself wanting to at least help in some way.
Help. Now my mind is running over whether or not I am actually doing any good by my version of "helping".
Never before in my life have I been exposed to an animal of this nature
Is this just some sort of learning-to-jump-through-the-hoop exercise routine that I need to get down?
Eitherway, something needs to happen, because these emotions can swing either way--but only because i am caught in the trap of forced indifference. It would be so easy to continue down some paths..regardless that they have been trodden before.
This entry has been edited due to changing emotional content.
Posted by BLiNK at December 3, 2003 01:53 AM | TrackBackI think I have a lot more thinking to do.
Posted by: blink at December 3, 2003 04:18 AMWell, I hope you do well in school, and try not to get your emotional stuff all twisted in w/ your studies.. That is never a good thing.
Also, follow what you think is RIGHT, and what you NEED to do not what you THINK you should do. If I'm to understand you are in some sort of twisted contortion of 'should i be w/ this person' sorta thing. (I'm prolly way off base) We're all still young, so have fun and try not to be too serious to quickly. ::shrug::
(This is where I offer more good and comforting commentary to help you through whatever your problems are)
If you need anything, or need someone to listen to you, you know how to get ahold of me.. ?? !!
It's amazing what a good nights rest can do for your personal outlook.
Thanks smitty.
Posted by: BLiNK at December 3, 2003 01:13 PMIt's always good to get your thoughts out of your head and on paper or on a computer. Blink it sounds like we should try to spend this Christmas
together as much as we can, being broke sucks some times, but you don't need money to have fun or be happy; I pretty much broke all the time and I'm still happy.
Everyone has hard times with their emotions. I'm trying to understand true love right now, and it's pretty hard. I think one of the best things you should do if your not sure,is to take a while and think about the that could happen if you make a certan choice. When thinking about stuff like this you have to be careful, and make sure you understand everything if you can.
So many things in this world are difficult, so it can be best to have some help, and not do everything alone.
I am and always will be here for you, so if you ever need anything, or want to talk just ask.
;)