This evening I just couldn't take it anymore and I broke down crying. I really shouldn't have done that in front of the girls, but I just couldn't help it. When my sweet baby Gracie saw me crying, she went and got a tissue, climbed up in my lap, and started hugging me and wiping my tears away. I swear, that was the most touching moment I have ever experienced. I don't deserve her. Even though she's really stubborn, hardly ever listens to anything I say, and throws a lot of fits, I love her (and Arien) more than anything. I just wish I could give them something better.
I'm not going back to school after this semester. I need to work more to get us out of here. Sure, that means 12 hr. shifts at a carpet mill, but I've done it before. I'd still be doing it now, but I quit because I was pregnant with Arien and couldn't do my job because I was so scared of having a miscarriage. My job was hard, but I liked it, and the money was good. I just want to get us out of here and away from all the bullshit.
Posted by sabrina at November 14, 2003 11:14 PM
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Sorry about everything, Sabrina. I know things don't seem so good right now, but if you're at the lowest point where you started crying in front of the girls, things will have to start going up for you! Good luck!
Posted by: Amanda at November 15, 2003 12:04 PMHang in there...Have you checked in to hud housing and things like that? Hugs
Posted by: Bella at November 15, 2003 02:00 PMHey Sabrina... hope things are going better. Just keep your chin up my friend... sometimes it gets darkest before the dawn, but the sunrise is a wonderful thing!
I always think of this little saying when I get to feeling down & out... maybe it will help you during your trials & tribulations too. :)
"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."
Take care Sabrina... my thoughts & prayers are with y'all. ((hugs))
Posted by: CJ at November 16, 2003 11:20 PMHang in there. I have been reading your blog for a while now, and I have to say, I am truely amazed at your persistance to make a better life for your girls. Things are rough right now, but you should be proud of what you have done so far!
It will get easier (although it doesn't seem like it). Just don't give up on school. I mean take a semester off, or how ever long it takes to get to where you need to be to start it up again. Sounds like you have some promising future plans.
Posted by: Mollie at November 17, 2003 04:58 PM