I need a moment to breathe. To realize what's going on and take it all in. To figure out what to do and where to go from here. To figure out what I can control and to realize what I can't and manage to let go... I need to know where I am and where I belong... So many questions keep swirling through my mind, and I know they all have answers, but I can't seem to find them. And what's worse is that I don't really know where to begin to look... I have done so much for everyone and I can't do anything for myself... Partly I think because I don't know what I want to do and those things that I do know, oddly enough depend on outside forces... There are so many things attacking me right now... So many emotions... That normally wouldn't be considered an attack but are right now simply overwhelming and I don't know where to go with them... I don't know what is right or wrong or why all these things are coming at me, especially now... But for the most part if I think about it long enough there is a logical progression between everything that has happened and why everything is coming at me. It's just so much... I'm not crumbling... I'm far from crumbling because dammit I've crumbled enough lately. But something is going to happen and I don't know what... Something major... Good or bad I can't tell, but it's brewing... Below the surface it is working to come and complicate my life even more... I just wish I knew what it was...Or even when to expect it...
Posted by leah at September 24, 2003 09:52 PM | TrackBackI think you need a break. A big break. Take a few days for yourself. Even a day. Sit, be lazy, don't talk to anyone. Or call up an old friend you've been meaning to talk to or hang out with. A slight change of pace may be all you need. Don't worry about other people. We can manage, I promise. It's your life, so make yourself happy.
If you need to talk to somebody, give me a call. I love listening and talking. I like to help people out. Most of all, I like to make people happier. You've done it enough for me, can I help with you? If you need a place to escape, you're always welcome to my place. I'm never home, so you wouldn't be bothered. Even if I was at home, I could pretend you weren't really there and leave you be. Do what you need to make yourself happy.
Don't worry about cancelling plans or abandoning friends. It's all you. We will understand. Just let us know if there's anything we can do. Don't be afraid to ask or say no if we ask you to do something. We love you and want you to be happy as well. And if nobody else seems to care for whatever reason, always know that I'll be there for you.
Hakuna matata! (Sorry, I had to do it!)
Posted by: Garrett at September 25, 2003 12:33 AMGood thoughts sent your way today by a stranger.
:) Hope it helps.