parresia

Last night (Saturday) I had

Last night (Saturday) I had the blessed opportunity to spend an evening with my seemingly long-lost friends Marco Polo and Wayne Ohhh. This all came about thanks to the extended weekend of Thanksgiving, and it is to God that I now give thanks to for the time off of school and more importantly the time I was able to spend in the company of my best friends. I really do consider marco and wayne my best friends (even if they wouldn't go so far), and though this might seem strange when one looks at the facts of our relationship: we see each other maybe once every couple months, we talk on the phone maybe monthly, and we write emails occasionally, but this "behavioral distance" seems to not matter at all. I told the boys during our time together that even though I hadn't spent time with them for so long, our conversation and "connection" was so strong (so immediate) that it felt as if I had just seen them the week before. Indeed this is a splendid blessing far too profound for me to comment on in full here, but suffice it to say that our "friendship" is such because of the grace and mercy of God: He has literally brought us together as brothers in Christ. Not only do we share the most mundane aspects of life that commonly bring men together (girl trouble, money woes, work gripes, male posturing in academia, etc etc), but we share, praise be to God for allowing me to partake in this great triad, a furvent love for discussing the wonders of Biblical application by way of soteriology, epistemology, ontology, metaphysics, ethics, theology, and so forth. I am not exagerating to relay the fact that from the first two minutes of our night together (around 7:00) we began "talking" and we did not stop until it was too late and too cold (and I was getting tired). With no other of my friends am I able to spend such profitable and intriquing time while also laughing and truly enjoying myself.

I must say that it really makes me wish I was still located in O.C. for then it seems our contact would not be so strained (it would still be somewhat strained due to our three VERY busy schedules).

My name of choice on my site is "sorrowful." One reading this might think with all the great things that I am blessed with, including such brotherly friends, why would I be sorrowful? Well, the answer is all too easy to answer. In a crowd, I'm all alone...Wayne said it something like this: even when surrounded by people, he has no one to talk to. I know Marco would accord to the same feeling. This, interestingly enough, seems to be a facet to our "bond." What a sober bond it is, no? But it is fact. I have found that in my experience (even after attending the same church for years for instance) that I have really no one "to talk to" beyond the occasional "debate question" or the friendly "how is it going?" line (this is not to say that I don't like or get along with the members of the church: I happen to really respect and "like" most of the people I know at church) it's just that I don't have that "direct interest" with any of them that I so easily have with W.O. and M.P. When Wayne said those words Saturday night "...with no one to talk to" it was as if he summed our whole existence as we stood there in the frosty Claim Jumper parking lot. All three of us frantically shaking our heads in agreement trying to think of the words of accord to explain how true and inline we al felt in that regard.

So what am I trying to say? Many things as usual, and I end up saying either a whole lot of nothing, or very little of a bunch of things, but to try to put a point to it I would say this: I am indeed honored to call Wayne and Marco friends, and that I am sorely aware of the "suffering" that, in part, is the tie that binds us together. I want to say to Wayne and Marco that they're not alone; I too suffer in small talk; I too spend (maybe too much time/but altogether and at the same time not enough time) working towards REFORMATION (in the broad sense of the word) on account of God's Kingdom. I too struggle with the fears of academic rigor on account my credibility to the secular world. I too alienate myself in most situations by stating in no-uncertain-terms my Christian worldview. I too am able to talk hour after hour on these subjects that to most ears deserve maybe a thought while reading the sunday paper then to forget it: I don't want to forget it.

Okay, so what am I really trying to say? (I'm writing at a time when I ought to be sleeping, and it seems my mind is halfway there). I am saying that it is my hope and desire to fulfill my role as friend to these two fine gentlemen. I hope that my struggle can be used, by God's will, to strength them, to edify them, to encourage them, and to reprove them. I hope that they can do the same for me. As Paul had Timothy, so I hope to be there for W and M. My prayer is that God will continue to conform not only us three as individuals but also conform us together as a Christian friends tied by the Gospel...

Yes, loneliness is always around the corner, yes sorrowful often fits me, but God is a God of grace and mercy and He sees to it that we are able to endure ALL trials placed upon us...let us, the three hombres, be a source to one another for God to show His loving kindness...let this be just the beginning.

I have much to say but my eyes and mind are woefully sore due to the hour (and the knowledge of my early day soon coming)...please stay tuned for continuation. For a much more articulate, and thoughtful version tap into this mind.