October 28, 2004
October 27, 2004
regarding sleep deprivation
"Coping with sleep deprivation is a lot like stopping a drinking habit. You are so used to the routine of sleep that you start to think you need it to survive. When you can't do it anymore, first you go through withdrawl, then anger, then frustration, and eventually you [transcend the need]."
That's from Bob W. Link tomorrow.
What does it mean if you're walking from your office to the library and suddenly want to lie down on the ground and go to sleep?
Now I'm going to bed.
what someone else thinks
um. i just mean you're more kernel-keeping/chaff-tossing. i don't feel like i'm on the block.
October 26, 2004
Bumper Stickers From Yesterday
1. Reject Religion--Embrace Jesus
2. Jesus Loves You--But I'm His Favorite
October 25, 2004
More Shooting
What happens when the weak start shooting the strong? Maybe it's the only option that seems available. That's when nourishment sends you a bill, time to pay up. That's when all that ignoring kind of kicks you in the butt.
I'm not defending the weak. I think I'm one of the weak, wrongfuly picking up the shotgun of his mouth and leveling it at whoever is threatening me.
October 24, 2004
things to discuss with A
1. adopting as a single person
2. views on dating/courtship
3. horror stories from fundamentalist academic institutions
4. reasons for Phildelphia (not the least of which is that 'thirtysomething' was set there)
5. reasons for not looking anymore
Sitting Here On Sunday Night
Had 20+ people over for Sunday lunch, in celebration of JP's birthday. It takes a lot to do that, even though some people brought food; Winn-Dixie helped out with fried chicken and ribs at the last minute. As well as bread, which should have come out of the bread machine, but I forgot to load it this morning.
So yeah, the domestic god was hard at work. And it was good to have lots of people in the house again. (It looks good now, after 3 hours of cleaning yesterday, and an intense hour and a half of cleaning up this morning. Pretty much everything is in place, most of the dishes are washed, and it's quiet. J is at the K's weekly pizza and beer event, and B is at work.) So many of those people have been amazingly charitable and gracious and merciful to me over the last four years.
Pastor Skogen preached about 'judge not lest ye be judged' this morning. And you know, most of the people around me, especially the people here today, have not been censorious or spiteful or bitter, but have walked with me through various joys and a lot of sad/hard moments. That is what life is all about.
However, there were some people that weren't present. There should be some reconciliation. I guess I'll have to start it.
Tomorrow: Bonefish Grill opens. B and I are there.
Other news: J is moving out. Back to the mountain.
October 23, 2004
October 22, 2004
80 miles from Bristol
I was hoping you’d call
How could I resist the chance
To take such a fall
I was blinded
I was blinded again
You were high
On something new and different
Tell me you’re joking
That I would follow you here
Just to watch you disappear
When this love is broken
Is there any other kind
I only know one side
Ow
Some churches are more into their church and its traditions, buildings, and politics than the gospel. Though they know the gospel theologically, they rarely take it out of their church. This is classic fundamentalist Christianity, which flourishes most widely in more independent-minded, Bible-believing churches. The success of these churches lies in that they love the church and often love the people in the church. Their failure is that it is debatable whether they love Jesus and lost people in the culture as much as they love their own church. Pastors at these churches are prone to speak about the needs of the church, focusing on building up its people and keeping them from sinning. These churches exist to bring other Christians in, more than to send them out into the culture with the gospel. Over time, they can become so inwardly focused that the gospel is replaced with rules, legalism, and morality supported with mere proof texts from the Bible.
from here
Rolling for Jesus
We met an awesome guy in NY. His faith is definitely connected to his life. He drives a taxi. Here's what his business card says:
Rolling for Jesus
Philip Frabosilo
Preaching
Counseling
Taped Messages
Christian Music
Clothes Collection
Always A Blessing
Never A Charge
Mary Chapin sings on Friday afternoon
You had your madness and you had your charm
But only when your heart allowed
And my heart just won't allow any more
October 21, 2004
IMing about coffee drinks
not all of our metabolisms can handle the luxury of whole mike
i mean milk
October 20, 2004
Back From The City
Landed in Atlanta today just as someone was throwing a rock through my kitchen window.
It's odd to be back at a computer. Typing is weird. Instant and easy access is weird.
I'm missing the constant interaction, though I was weary of it, but I'm looking forward to the luxury of my own bed, a quiet house, and coffee when I want it.
I'm also pondering the phrase 'nourish the strong, shoot the weak.' Tomorrow's class is about poverty, and I'm not ready for it, even though I should have hugely insightful things to say due to this recent interaction with the homeless community of NY. I don't. I think I'm going to just go to class and offer some simple thoughts and my exhaustion.
How many of our institutions are built, either intentionally or unintentionally, on nourishing, feeding, extolling, caring for, building up the strong people of this world? And how often do I shoot the weak?
What happens when a church or the church nourishes the strong and shoots the weak?
October 13, 2004
Gone To Look For Angels
I'm gone to the city. New York. Bowery Mission. Here's something to consider:
We flew down the length of Fifth Avenue
She threw out miracles, it was a hysterical ride
And if the crowd on the sidewalk looked skeptical
She took the blue right out of their cynical eyes
She shook the mayor's hand, and he declared
That he'd hold a press conference,
The fans and protesters blocked the stairs to city hall
"I'd like to thank you all," he said
And when she stepped before the cameras
It felt like a trial, but she smiled as the questions were called,
"What do you say to detractors, who claim you're just some actor?"
She said, "The question here, is 'Do I believe in you?'"
It was just another day
Like any other, other day
Spread the news, I saw an an angel fly from Manhattan
In front of paparazzi, in front of television crews
And me I choose
I know a little faith wouldn't harm me
Despite what they print in the New York Daily News
I like the story
about the man who, while walking down a country road, meets an angel. The angel is carrying in one hand a bucket of water. In the other hand she carries a flaming torch. When the man inquires of the angel what she is about, the angel answers, "With this water I'm going to quench all the fires of hell and with the torch I'm going to burn down all the mansions of heaven; and then we're going to find out who REALLY loves God."
October 11, 2004
Back to the Institutes
There's got to be something wrong with a guy who reads John Calvin and listens to Cher at the same time.
More From Kathleen
"I finally realized that I had to keep in mind that my primary relationship is with God. My vows were made to another person, the person of Christ. And all of my decisions about love had to made in the light of that person."
"Celibacy is not an excuse for being unhappy or uncharitable, to stuff feelings down, to become angry, or an iceberg. The worst sin against celibacy is to pretend to not have any affections at all. To fall in love is celibacy at work. Celibacy is not a vow to repress our feelings. It is a vow to put all our feelings, acceptable or not, close to our hearts and bring them into consciousness through prayer."
"To be celibate, it seems to me, means first of all being a loving person in a way that frees you to serve others. Otherwise celibacy has no point."
To channel ones sexuality into anything besides being sexually active is seen as highly suspect; it leaves celibates vulnerable to being automatically labeled as infantile or repressed.
When it works, the celibate is "stretching the ability to love, and particularly, to love non-exclusively."
"a non-sexually active love can be just as passionate and just as absorbing as a genitally rooted one, and athat such a love has as its center the idea of being fully focused and intentional."
"It is a daily choice to live as a celibate."
"One needs a deep prayer life to maintain a celibate life. It is only through prayer that the hard choices get made, over time, only prayer that can give me the self-transcendence that celibacy requires."
Self-transcendence is required in marriage as well, or in any life-long commitment to another. But the culture does not encourage self-transcendence. Too many people grow up understanding that 'true love' mean possessing and being possessed. Both are incompatible with celibacy, which seeks to love non-exclusively, non-possessively.
"The fruit of celibacy is hospitality."
October 9, 2004
Unpredictability
Wouldn't it be great to be able to tell your housemate 'Hey, will you come home after work, I'm gonna be in a bad mood tonight'? Unfortunately, the mind and the heart and their work together is highly unpredictable, as are the things you'll encounter during the day. There's no telling when a little girl with a beautiful butterfly painted on her face will turn your heart upside down. Or seeing how a handsome five year old guy flying in the Astro Jump looks just like his mom and his dad will make you once again long for children.
Everything changes. Changes so quickly. Or slowly and imperceptibly. The road you're flying down u-turns. Or you look up and mountains have beautifully crowded the horizon. Leaves fall one at a time or all come down in the storm of all storms, come down to clog the sewer.
But, as always, there is room to grow.
Ok, time to go romp through the fridge for leftovers.
Last Week's Travelling Reading
poets are indeed at the mercy of what they see
they often have to say things they can't pretend to understand
seeing, hearing, and knowing simultaneously
'Whoever needs less should thank God and not be distressed.'
perfection consists in being what God wants us to be
no longer looking for what is not there
Psalm 16
in the realm of the sacred, what seems to be incomplete or unattainable may be abundance
celibate passion--elusive, tensile, holy
_The Cloister Walk_, Kathleen Norris
New CD
Yeah, I'm gullible and I have plebeian taste.
'I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw.'
--Keith Urban
October 8, 2004
Friday Night
"If you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Then thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you"
--Amy Grant
I'm going to sleep now. Yes, it is early, and I need it. I'm looking in the mirror at the end of a hard day, and I know in my heart that I haven't lied.
Father, I thank you for the things you've done
October 7, 2004
October 4, 2004
Not Much, More Later
I'm back, I'm tired, it was a splendid weekend.
In response to missing Amy's birthday: 'But I believe in unintentional celebration, and Colorado certainly was celebratory this weekend. Disappointment, then lots of laughter, then worship, then saying goodbye. Wow, I love friendship.'
B and J and S were so amazing to me this weekend. I hope I always remember lying on top of red rocks in the Garden of the Gods and just talking. Just laughing. Just being.
And then, of course, my flight home from Atlanta was cancelled. And tomorrow's lecture is definitely not written. So I'll save any mental meanderings and profound thoughts. Now's not the time.
And there'll be some pictures too.
Postscript: K, thank you for all these friends--I don't think I'd know them without you bringing 'em into my life. Wish you could've been there. The time with your parents was really great, they're spectacular.