The Holtonian

Andy Made Me Fall, That or I’m Uncoordinated, Out-of-Shape, and Fat… I’m Leaning Towards the Latter

So I have run the trails around Covenant for going on 7 years now. Since 99 I've run them, not as regularly as I would like, but I go in good spurts. I've started going everyday and I hesitate to blog about it because inevitably whenever I blog about some sort of physical exercise routine I inevitably break the routine after blogging about it, I jinx myself or something. But this story has to be told.

So I'm joggin these trails today, doing pretty good, making good time. Got the tunes going, some nice White Stripes giving me some good motivation. I come upon another runner coming at me but I don't have my glasses on so I'm trying to make him out to see who it is. As we start to pass I realize its good ole Andy or "D" as he is sometimes referred as. I give him a nice passing five.... not a high one, not a low one, just a stick the hand out strait from the hip, and slap the hand. It was good, a good five for two very white guys.

Now let me reiterate, I've run these trails for seven years now. I have never once fallen on them, not once. I've stumbled, stumbled to the point where I was bent over and probably could have licked the ground if I had stuck my tongue out, however not once has any part of my body besides my feet ever touched the trails around the practice fields at covenant.

So where was I??? Oh yes, so no sooner do I give "D" a nice five do I hit a root, or a rock or a chipmunk and go tumbling over eating it big time. Andy stops like a good Christian gent and holds back a laugh on my account and asks me if I'm ok... I respond... " yeah, I probably shouldn't have given you that five...."

It was embarrassing, but life has taught me don't get too embarrassed, because sooner or later you'll do something dumber and more embarrassing... I think I read that in a fortune cookie or something.

Another humbling running experience: Now let me emphasize, I am a happily married man, I love my wife, I find her to be the sexiest woman alive. And I love that my wife lets me be honest. "Do you think that girl is attractive?" she'll ask me. "Yeah she's alright." or "Yes." or "No her head is too big." She respects my honesty and I love that I can be honest. Wives/Girlfriends who ask their men "Do you think that girl/woman/actress/model is attractive?" referring to someone obviously attractive and want a 'no,' are dumb and insecure. So my wife will let me say the next part without being offended and knowing that my love for her is true and strong:

I was running on the trails, back when Covenant was still in session a few months ago when a rather attractive woman is running towards me going the opposite way. That being said, when a guy is doing something physical, whether a sport or running, lifting weights, whatever.... a guy feels a need to convey strength, confidence, and superiority. If I'm running with a girl, I have to run faster because I am a guy, my heart might be failing and lungs collapsing, but I will run faster than her because my manhood depends on it.

So this girl is running the opposite way... so being the stupid male that I am I suck in my gut, and start running faster, up a steep hill, well towards the end of my run... I do not have energy or muscles left at the end of my runs... So i trudge up and about 2 steps before we are to pass each other I trip and nearly wipe out... It was a bad stumble, one that I couldn't make it look like it was on purpose or that my shoe was untied...

So there you go, God humbling me. Its a daily occurrence, the mirror is the first thing that humbles me... "Man I look like that... shoot, well at least God loves me."