The Holtonian

Doogie Wilson MD Revolutions

I always think of things i want to blog about at the most inopertune times: late at night, at work, while playing video games and of course I never write them down.
One I did remember was I was reading my book After Darkness Light (Yes still reading it... and actually had to look at the front cover to remember the title) and I'm reading a chapter on Irresistible Grace by none other than "dun Dun DUN" Douglas J. Wilson. And if you've come within five yards of Josiah's website you may understand the irony or odd timing of this chapter. Anyway I don't understand nor care too much about all the controversy Roe and his minions, cohorts, well wishers, and arch-rivals are discussing nor do I care too much about the inherent flaws in Wilson's doctrine, Pastoring, or whatever else people find wrong with him. Frankly I got enough plank in my own eye to worry about then to dwell on some dude in Idaho who seems to be doing fine without my two cents, when taken into the Reformed World Currency Changer actually comes out to negative 86 dollars. In other words my two cents when it comes to reformed doctrine ain't worth jack--to quote some one who probably said something similar to that at one time (Got to be careful of plagarism these days... Always site your sources people).

Well to move on DJ Wilson's' piece on Irresistible Grace chapter so far hasn't raised any red flags, but when it comes to reformed doctrine I seem to be color blind meaning I wouldn't no a red flag from a black flag to be honest, unless there was a warning saying "NOT REFORMED!!! DOES NOT MEET WESTMINSTER CONFESSIONAL STANDARDS OF EXCELLENCE." Then and only then would I think, "Hmmm I may not want to believe this..." Anyway Dougy Fresh (as I like to call him) has a kind of whitty thing about the "Spirit" and how alot of more evangelical type of Megla Church (thats my own spin) forms of Christianity are trying to make the Spirit something as easily dispensed as a piece of sugar candy out of a Mr. T Pez dispenser. Dougy Fresh writes when talking about the allusion to wind and the Spirit in the gospels he wrote, "We have come to believe that we can capture that breeze and lock it in an aerosol can to be dispensed on demand during evangelistic encounters." This i thought was pretty whitty or at least funny in my own head.
I just imagined some random kind of evangelical church where the preacher talks with that funny voice you hear on TBN, you know the one where the last letter of every word is emphasized. Then I imagined him talking in his funny voice calling people to the front and instead of knocking them over with his hand upon their forehead he sprays them with his aerosol "Spirit" can, saying "You're sprayed with the spirit." Then the people fall down and flop around. Get it! Instead of being slayed in the spirit you can be sprayed!! I think this is so funny... then again i would, its borderline heretical. I wonder if the "Aerosol Spirit Can" is bad for the environment??? I mean its the "spirit can" so I can't imagine it really needs "Floro carbons???" Anybody got any ideas? Like I said I'm not to keen on the uptake on this sort of doctrinal thing.
Ooooh a good idea just came to me.... nope lost it..... Ahh its back. Ok take a couple of air freshner spray cans, strip the label, then put a new one on that says, "The Spirit Can..... Be Sprayed In the Spirit.... also deoderizes and filters air" I could go around the South to all the small churchs in the hills and sell it to them as the latest and greatest product from HoJo ministries. Then I could go on TBN and hang out with those cool people who sit in those gold chairs and sing off key to songs and chat with Michael Irvin and Neon Deion about how they used to go strip clubs to get ladies but now they go to strip clubs to witness.
.....Then again I should probably stick with Cigna.... less chance of getting struck by lighting and being excomunicated.