May 09, 2008

The Joys of Producing Advertising Copy

After a few recent conversations, after hearing about some others, and after recently reading a few highly questionable local media pieces, I am prompted to write...

One would think, with my varied background, that the idea of producing long-form advertising copy would not appeal to me. Over the last few months, however, I have learned that this is not the case. Quite the opposite, really.

You see, I know I'm trying to sell something. The client wants me to help them sell something. The reader is (at least mildly) interested in buying something. Or they can completely disregard my message if they're not. As long as the copy I produce is not libelous or slanderous or inaccurate or otherwise disingenuous, the free market takes over and the product/service/organization and my accompanying message about it are forced to live or die on their own. And I am perfectly happy with that. Because it's honest.

On the flip side, producing copy that calls itself "objective" -- or at least acting like the copy that's being produced is worthy of being considered "objective" -- and then using that same copy to sell or benefit from a cause/organization/product/idea/event, is, well, dishonest.

I'll stop there. I don't want to ruin anybody's day.

Posted by colrus at 12:12 AM | Comments [0] | TrackBack

May 08, 2008

Quick! Sell Me On Your Part of Town

After almost 6 years, Melissa and I (and now Sam) are looking to move off of Signal Mountain. While we've LOVED living on the mountain, we've grown tired of going up and down it. Even a simple trip, say, to Target has to be planned:

"Are we gonna go anywhere else? Are we going to want to go back off the mountain after we get home? Should we wait until later?"

And let's not even talk about brakes.

So...

Since we are planning to move, I'd love to hear why your part of town (or area) is the best. We're pretty open at this point, so let it fly. Give me three reasons why we should live where you live.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Posted by colrus at 11:36 AM | Comments [6] | TrackBack

February 08, 2008

The Basketball Diaries: A visiting British scholar considers the American spectacle known as UT Men's Basketball

This is pretty good.

"Although the enforced stoppages are infuriating, the first half has been thoroughly enjoyable. I’ve been especially impressed by the band as well, who do their best to whip up the orange-clad student section; the sound of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” being performed by a marching band is a strange one indeed. The time-outs are also enlivened by what appear to be slave kids who appear from nowhere to wipe the surface clean. Is this some kind of Mascoting 101? I’m not entirely convinced it’s legal, but it does lend a surprising Dickensian air to proceedings."

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March 20, 2007

My UTC Alumni Profile

I'm profiled on the UTC Alumni website this month.

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March 13, 2007

Al Gore: Damaging Science?

All I'm saying is, if you are a leading Democrat and the New York Times is giving you a hard time, what do you do?

Hollywood has a thing for Al Gore and his three-alarm film on global warming, “An Inconvenient Truth,” which won an Academy Award for best documentary. So do many environmentalists, who praise him as a visionary, and many scientists, who laud him for raising public awareness of climate change.

But part of his scientific audience is uneasy. In talks, articles and blog entries that have appeared since his film and accompanying book came out last year, these scientists argue that some of Mr. Gore’s central points are exaggerated and erroneous. They are alarmed, some say, at what they call his alarmism.

On a related note, how about that weather today, huh?

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February 19, 2007

Fast Food Managers

Why are fast food managers always yelling? Why don't they just use those headsets like the people who work the drive thru? The customers who place their orders at the drive thru are always yelling, too. Why? They don't have those headsets, either. You'd think the managers would have noticed that by now.

Posted by colrus at 01:18 AM | TrackBack

September 26, 2006

How to Work an Old-School Hand Dryer

With most restroom hand dryers now being automatic, you may have forgotten how to operate an old-school one.

Here's how:

1. Put your left index finger in the hole.

2. Clap for bacon.

Got it? Good.

Happy hand drying!

Posted by colrus at 01:21 AM | TrackBack

June 11, 2006

A Homey from Back in the Day

Tim and his girlfriend Patty came to Chattanooga this weekend. Melissa and I took them on the obligatory Sweet Basil/Clumpie's/Walnut Street Bridge/Art District tour while catching up on old times. We also caught a few notes of Riverbend at the UnumProvident stage.

Tim and Melissa and I went to high school together in Madison, Connecticut. Tim and I graduated in 1992. (Melissa graduated the year after.) While we've managed to stay in touch over the years, Tim and I hadn't seen each other since the fall of 1995 when we went to see Phish at the New Haven Coliseum during one of his breaks from the Air Force.

Tim and I were quite odd while in high school. For example: One Friday night, for no reason, the two of us (and our friend Mike) drove from my house in Madison to the Vince Lombardi rest stop in New Jersey -- some two-plus hours away. We ate some burgers and drove home. I still don't know why we went.

We also spent a few days in NYC during Spring Break one year, spending a night at a comedy club and an afternoon at the Museum of Broadcasting, which features free access to virtually every TV show and commercial ever aired.

Also amongst our stops while walking around the city was the World Trade Center. I think we used the bathroom before leaving after deciding an elevator ride to the observation deck was just too expensive. We eventually took the train home from Grand Central.

Good times.

Patty was nice and we had fun evening. Hopefully it won't be another 11 years before we see each other again.

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June 09, 2006

You Gave Me a Bad Tip

Contemporary Christian recording artist Phil Driscoll was convicted on three counts of tax evasion today.

I waited on Mr. Driscoll once while I worked at 212 Market. He gave me a terrible tip.

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May 29, 2006

Ghost Ship Washes Up in Barbados

This is one of the spookiest stories I've ever read.

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May 11, 2006

Instantly Ill

I'm pretty sure that the Chinese food I just ate -- purchased from the food court at the underutilized outlet mall that houses our offices -- has made me sick. I went to bed early last night, woke up upbeat, was having a good morning and now I feel like I've been hit in the head with an industrial drum.

What is UP?!?

Posted by colrus at 03:30 PM | TrackBack

January 21, 2006

Quickies: January 20, 2006

Why do Bonefish Grill servers wear chef garb? If you sit and think about it (like I did this evening while eating there), it gets weirder and weirder.

Why was I mailed TWO copies of Time Life's new bullriding retrospective? Sure, I AM going to watch it, but how did they know that my ex-brother-in-law was once a cowboy? Seriously, he was. Man, I need to write about THAT sometime...

I think as I continue to convert my rather large VHS library to DVD, I'll give away the VHS stuff to whomever I think might want it. Tonight, I dubbed a 1991 British documentary about the band Genesis. Pretty good stuff until Peter Gabriel left...

The Red Sox re-hired Theo Epstein. Man, now if they could just swing a deal for Coco Crisp...

Brian Cagle's film premiere at the Hunter last night was a resounding success. I was VERY encouraged to see the STANDING ROOM ONLY crowd, the wide mix of folks who turned out to pack the room, the reception Brian got afterwards and to hear the great questions people asked during the Q&A; session. I will be posting pictures of the event this weekend and writing about it in next week's Pulse.

...Speaking of The Pulse, I am sketching out plans for a new column by yours truly. It will be slightly different than my previous column, but no less browraising. I miss the abuse, I suppose. And, according to your e-mails, some of you miss me.

Today, I (finally) picked up the crib Melissa and I put on last summer layaway and paid off just before Thanksgiving. Seeing as we were expecting a baby when we picked it out, but have since lost the baby, it was a difficult trip to make. Sometimes, when you think you've gotten over something, you really haven't. Hopefully, we'll have new, better news soon.

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January 02, 2006

New Year's Life Updates

Man, what an antiseptic post title, eh?

Anyway, here's some stuff that's going on in my world:

The Pulse is now an inhabitant of Warehouse Row. Yes, after more than two years, we have left the Hamilton County Small Business Development Center, or the "incubator" as it's often called. I guess the move means that we've been succesfully incubated. Come to think of it, I do feel like I can fly. This is a good move for us. Not only is it a good location for a business like ours, but now I can finally sell some of those slacks I've been hoarding at the house. Right now, I'm running a special on Boot Cut Extra Huskyslim Fit Crack Rise Cords.

I have ventured into MySpace territory. This move allows me to satisfy my need to make lists of things I like. I can also gain friends with the click of a mouse. This is convenient. Except that all of these friends are 12.

Somebody e-mailed me today to tell me that they appreciated my Top Ten Albums list. The e-mail was diametrically opposed to another e-mail I received, calling me a "douchebag" (see comments on aforementioned article) because I dared to include a couple of compilations and re-releases amongst the picks. Whatever. Sigh. Pop songs, folks. Pop songs.

On the ever-increasing list of Web- and video-related projects that I'd like to tackle is a podcast. I think I'd like to create something funny. Maybe with some guest contributors. I've got a few scripts which might fit. Podcasts remind me of the ridiculously elaborate mix tapes my friends and I used to make back in the day. And seeing as they are in a simple audio format, they could be easily transformed into a variety of platforms...

I found an out-of-print Sugarplastic album from an online retailer in Japan. I know I've mentioned them before, but I am going to keep mentioning them. Because this is my blog. And because I can. And because they rock. I am in agreement with Josiah about Kidsmoke. And if you like them, you'll probably like The Sugarplastic. I will soon prepare a very linky, very pic-y post about this band for your informational convenience. And you will continue to ignore me. But that's OK. I'll just talk to my MySpace friends.

Reminder: The Office moves to Thursday this week. It is also a brand new episode. It airs at 9:30. Also of note, Scrubs returns for an hour tomorrow (Tuesday) night at 9 p.m. Another show that slays me...

More later.

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November 26, 2005

November 26, 2005

I turn 32 tomorrow. It feels old now, but it will feel young ten years from now.

Despite prolonged frustration as we attempted to procure our new-phone rebates from Sprint, we will soon get our new phones. Mine will have a camera. We also opted for 300 additional minutes for $4 per month. As a result of the recent Sprint/Nextel merger, coverage for users of both companies will soon see increased coverage. This is good, as leaves and errant bits of dust have been known to disconnect my calls.

Went to both Wal-Mart and Target yesterday on "Black Friday." Target was a breeze. It was clean, organized and I found a space close to the door. I also found a $5 bill on the ground. Yay! Wal-Mart, on the other hand, looked like a crime scene. Among the many reasons I can sympathise with the anti-Wal Mart crowd is the fact that, after shopping there, I often want to kill somebody. A broom would be nice for starters. I'm going back to Target today to try snag a DVD recorder/VCR combo. I've narrowed my search down to one model, and since Thanksgiving is also the time I receive birthday money, I'll be quite armed today.

I hate the Vols. Their fans have always driven me nuts, and, not being a huge college football fan to begin with (I LOVE college basketball, however), it was easy to form a dislike for the team. I have to admit to feeling a LITTLE sorry for them this season, however. I watched about 90 seconds of today's game and saw their punt returner fumble the ball away on his own 5 yard line and then watched Eric Ainge throw a ball to, well, nobody, about ten yards from scrimmage. Sad.

The Red Sox acquired Josh Beckett, Mike Lowell and Guillermo Mota from The Marlins for three minor leaguers. Hanley Ramirez was the only one of the three I was KINDA sad to see go, but I'll get over it. If even just one of the players the Sox got has a decent season, they will have pulled off a steal. Now, if they can just KEEP Damon and Manny. I guess the addition of Lowell means Bill Mueller won't re-signed. Dang. It'll be a shame to see him go.

...more junk later.

Posted by colrus at 02:49 PM | TrackBack

April 25, 2005

Quickies: April 25, 2005

This blog post will take up space that is sorely being underused on my gradually-fading blog...

Spent the whole weekend battling car trouble. It simply wouldn't start. Yep, there's nothing like getting towed from Signal Mountain to a garage in Hixson on a Sunday morning. Had to have the starter replaced and was, of course, given a list of other things I "should get fixed as soon as possible." Suggestive selling occurs in ALL businesses, folks.

Our Chattanooga city league softball team -- after two horrific preseason tournament defeats -- had a solid practice last week and is ready for the regular season opener this Thursday night. We'll see how much Dan Johnson really loves softball in the coming months/years, as our season was delayed for two weeks due to a repeated lack of available playing fields.

Our team has had trouble getting enough people to show up so far -- limiting how much we can play with batting orders, positions, etc. -- but I think we are locking down on a group of guys that will help us win more than we lose. The fact that our shorstop should, at least, be playing minor league ball is a definite plus, and I made an adjustment in my approach at the plate last week which should add 50 feet to every ball I hit.

With the oft-discussed "On The Other Hand" compilation DVD all sketched out and ready for construction, I have gone ahead and sketched out plans for a "Faces" compilation DVD, as well. The "Faces" disc may wind up having more extras that the OTOH stuff, mainly due to the fact that there are more extras (live footage, photos, articles, audio, etc.) from that period (2000-2001) that have actually survived.

I will be aggressively editing -- and possibly re-shooting -- selected sections of the "Faces" material in order to clean it up (better pictures, graphics, etc.) for presentation on DVD. Just like the OTOH stuff, complete pieces will sit alongside selected bits and clips to form a fast-moving, as-entertaining-as-possible overview of the show.

Planned included segments and bits include: Nathan at Tolsun's on Christmas, All About Some Brian, Black Friends, Jerry Peter's New Age Guitar commercial, Happy Boy Shampoo, Interview with David, Nathan's Old School, Mayoral Running Race 2001, Literacy infomercial, The Hidden History of Chattanooga, Voting is Fun, E! True Hollywood Story: Jonathan Lipnicki, and much, much more.

Brief, accompanying websites for each TV show are being brainstormed right now, and each of the DVDs will eventually be made available for purchase (for a HUGELY reduced price) through them.

I have made a promise to myself to not move on to any new projects until the existing stuff is properly presented for posterity's sake. If anybody on the tech/video side of the universe would like to contribute to construction of the dvds or websites, your help would be much appreciated.

It looks like Mesh and Josiah have backed our of going to BlogNashville next week, but John Bailes and Joe Lance are still going (to the best of my knowledge) and my wife has made special arrangements to spend the weekend with her friend Jenni at Jenni's parents' house in Brentwood so that I can attend and sit in classrooms and listen to people like Glenn Reynolds talk about the "blogosphere" and "how new media is changing the world." Or so I'm guessing. Heck, it's free! Should be fun.

The re-formed Dinosaur Jr. will be playing at the Variety Playhouse on July 8. Tickets go on sale tomorrow. I've downloaded QT and MP3 versions of their reunion last week on "The Late, Late Show." They played "The Lung." It was reun-i-riffic.

Posted by colrus at 10:46 AM | TrackBack

February 23, 2005

Quickies: February 22, 2005

What a bizzee day...It suddenly hit me tonight that a) I haven't gotten to read a single book in over a week, b) haven't listened to the radio AT ALL for an even longer period of time (aside from being ON it) and c) have missed several TV shows that I'd wanted to watch.

I Organized the ENTIRE Pulse back issue archives this morning. That was a lot of paper. Spent most of the rest of the day in meetings. Spent last night combing over tons of other Alt Weeklies in order to glean guidance. I'm telling you, figuring out the ad-to-copy ratio for a 140-page paper is quite a task.

My mailbox has been inundated with CDs and DVDs. The most joyously received item was the SCTV, Volume 3 DVD set. Though Mr. Mesh admitted to me that the first season escapes him (I admit, it CAN be an aquired taste), I'm in pure comedy TV heaven. (If I can get around to watching it, that is.) I also received a Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Animation Festival DVD, which I hope to watch soon, and an as-of-yet unreleased 2-CD compilation of the music of Roky Erickson, which so far is, well, quite awful. I am expecting, though, someone to respond to my intial assessment with something along the lines of, "Yeah, well, if you only UNDERSTOOD him, you'd appreciate him more. The man's a genius." Maybe if I, too, was out of my mind, I might like his work better. Gimme a few days...

A few months ago, Chattanoogan.com's chief web guy, Ed "Thunder" Sunder, forwarded me the RSS code so that I could post their top stories on both this site, and The Pulse site. Well, I'm gonna TRY to get that accomplished. No promises, though. I am code challenged, you see. Until then, you can always just click on their link under my NEWS header to see the latest from our anticlimactic town.

Aside from the inflamed (and PAINFULLY swollen) gum underneath the crown I recently had installed in my mouth (I'm getting my dentist to look at it on Thursday), the last few weeks of my life have been exhilaratingly fun. Oh, and the first of my THREE scheduled 2005 softball seasons starts in but a month. I'll be playing shortstop for the first team (headed up by Melissa's cousin and her other cousin's husband), which will play its games at Warner Park. Looking forward to playing there, as Camp Jordan's lighting situation is blinding AND dangerous, which is not good for a league that plays 98% of its games at night...and contains a team full of ENORMOUS Chattanooga cops who can literally knock the cover off the ball. The fact that I only comitted three errors at third base last year is quite an anomaly. It's usually quiet hard to catch the ball if you can't see the ball. (A RELATED NOTE: My knee and foot seem to have healed, though I AM going to get them checked. I was afraid that I tore something in my knee and fractured something in my foot, but i'm guessing that I just strained both of them. It'll be interesting to see how they react the first time I have to take a hard turn around first base...)

I'm gonna pass out one of these days.

Posted by colrus at 12:10 AM | TrackBack

February 16, 2005

Quickies: February 16, 2005

My family's shop (the same one that got robbed) up in Connecticut now has a website. My sister and her custom furniture work is featured on the furniture and home accessories page.

I have digitzed my January 28 appearance on WGOW with Max Hackett. I am in the process of editing shortened, easy-to-handle clips for your listening pleasure. (Well, maybe pleasure is too strong a word.) I don't know when, if ever, I'll get around to posting clips from the Channel 9 Mayoral Forum.

...Speaking on the mayor's race, The Pulse's endorsement of Ann Coulter is now online. Yes, we expect some flack.

Zack, Michael and I will be travelling to Washington, D.C. tomorrow for the AAN East Conference. It'll be a swell time to meet Alt Weekly folks from all across the nation. I'll be attending lectures on writing, editing, publication design, etc. The only drawback is the drive through Virginia, which is ALWAYS tedious.

Posted by colrus at 10:54 AM | TrackBack

February 10, 2005

Quickies: February 10, 2005

One of our columnists, John Bailes, appeared on WGOW with Max Hackett yesterday. They spent the first (interesting) hour talking about literature and the last hour talking about local news and some of the stuff John's written for us. It's good to have John on board. He was (briefly) the editor of The Chattanooga Outlook (until he realized that it was doomed), and upon its demise, he and I (briefly) discussed exploring some projects together, but they didn't pan out. I'm glad I found him again, as he does great work.

I think I'm coming out of this flu funk. Which is good, as I have a lot of work to do...

The "Right To The Chin" archives are slowly being incorporated into this site. I am cleaning some of them up, deleting some of them, and devising new categories for your (if you have ABSOLUTELY nothing else to do) reading pleasure. I second Noel's preference to de-emphasize dates, and might delete the month-based archive listing from the site, as well.

Must-See Site: This guy has a bizarre obsession with a girl that appeared in a Pepsi commerical for about 8 seconds.

Coming Soon: An in-depth look at the theology (or lack thereof) behind MercyMe's hit-single-turned-praise-and-worship-staple, "I Can Only Imagine." Ooooh. I am SOOO gonna get comments on this one...

Posted by colrus at 11:44 AM | TrackBack

February 07, 2005

Quickies: February 7, 2005

So, some folks are still wanting to leave in the wake of the Bush victory. Go ahead, folks. It'll take a lot more than any single man to make me want to leave the greatest country in world history.

The Patriots won the Super Bowl. Yay. I watched exactly one play. It hit me tonight that my near loathing of college football has somehow eroded my former interest in pro football, as well. My fanatic love of baseball remains intact, however.

So, all of our mayoral candidate interviews are complete. Oh, how I despise transcribing audiotape. Thomas Smith, II, talked the longest: one solid hour. His interview, along with Dan Johnson's, Ron Littlefield's and Ann Coulter's will run in this week's issue. The other candidates' interviews have already run in our paper, and are currently available to read on our website.

In related news: I have been inundated with "information" -- from readers, callers, e-mailers, people on the street -- linking current Chattanooga mayoral candidate Ann Coulter to everything from the evil domination of Chattanooga at the hands of The River City Company to her being unqualified for her previous jobs to her "flip-flopping" on the Coolidge Hotel (non)issue. Trouble is, none of this information is very convincing, and I've received virtually NO information critical of any of the other candidates. All of this paranoid finger pointing leads me to believe that Ms. Coulter is far ahead in the polls, and other folks are panicking. As far as DOING THE JOB OF MAYOR IS ACTUALLY CONCERNED, Ms. Coulter seems more than qualified. But it's okay. I get it. You can stop sending me stuff now.

Posted by colrus at 12:25 AM | TrackBack

February 04, 2005

Quickies: February 4, 2005

My new Pulse column is online. It's been several weeks since I actually wrote one due to my decision to spend more time aiding/developing other areas of the paper. I'll probably write on a semi-regular basis from now on...

...This column, by the way, is just one of many pieces that have run in the paper in recent weeks (pretty much since our Corker interview) that have lit a fire under Chattanoogans to write us letters, send us faxes and call us with their feedback. I've always thought that this city was lethargic in this area, but they are (thankfully) proving me wrong.

Chatted briefly yesterday with WGOW's Bill Lockhart, Jim Reynolds and Max Hackett. Here's the deal: Aaron Mesh will appear on the air with Max TODAY at 3 p.m. to discuss the Oscars. Starting next Wednesday, a regular rotation of writers from The Pulse will be appearing on his show each Wednesday to take part in issues-based discussions, based both directly and indirectly, on material from our paper. Right now, we have a pool of five Pulsers who will be regularly appearing including, yes, Mr. L'Vander "Action" Jackson. John Bailes appeared on Max's show today, although Max was feeling ill and had to leave. Maggie McGarr filled in for the last hour with John staying to hang out, as well.

In related news: I secured a CD of the audio from last week's Mayoral Forum, and will be posting selected audio clips from the event in the (I hope) coming week. I am also in the process of digitzing (and editing for size) my appearance on Max's show last week, which I will also be posting on this site within a week.

Chris Willis' blog has an interesting tidbit about a new comedy show that's being produced at the UTC Video Production Center. Speaking as someone who has authored some often dreadful programming via that studio, I wish them the absolute best. I can't wait to see the show...

Posted by colrus at 03:33 AM | TrackBack