verbingnouns

Secret Celebrity Crush

Aaron and Amy were joking a while back about having a "Secret Celebrity Crush." The thing about the SCC is not that the crush is a secret, it's that the celebrity is a secret...someone who, when you hear their name, you think, "that sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it."
One of the better SCC's Aaron, Amy and I were familiar with was (former?) blogger DP's crush on Debbie Matenopoulis (of TV Guide Channel fame). I was dissappointed to realize I didn't have a SCC, but then it dawned on me...I do have one. When I'm at work, I sit listening and occasionally watching Fox News all day long. Most of the time, I try to tune it out, but around 2 pm, I can't help but watch Studio B with Shepard Smith. Oh, Shepard. I'm mesmerized...he seems like he would be such a nice guy. I could tell him a joke and he would beam at me with that news-anchor-smile. He would reply with something terribly witty. I could call him "Shep."
I guess I have strong opinions about news anchors. I hate almost all of them. I especially dislike Brian Williams. I shoot him evil-glares when he dares to appear on my screen. Just look at him: he's a schmuck. He thinks he's so good-looking and funny, like he's such hot stuff. Big deal!
Brian Williams is the type of person who will probably Google his name, just to see how popular he is. Well, Brian, when you read this, you should know: you're no Shep. So you're taking over for Tom Brokaw. Big deal. Even with your tanning-bed tan, you pale in comparison to Shepard Smith.