First things first: Let me specifically wish you a "Merry CHRISTmas!!" on this the last day of Christmas.
I wanted to wait till the (real*) Christmas season was almost over to refer to the asinine efforts to keep Christmas from the public square.
All the anti-Christmas-in-the-public-sphere protesters and lawsuit-filers are really doing is trying to assert their moral view of the world--and make no mistake it is inherently moral--on the rest of us. These people are pretty sad if you ask me. They're not strong enough to handle the fact that people believe differently than them. "Oh! Gosh! My child [read: I] will feel different and unvalidated. I might even feel that people don't like me."
Boo freakin' hoo! Life is hard, baby. Get used to it. There are people who don't like you. In fact, they think you dress funny, that your kids are whiny brats, and that everything you do is predicated upon your utter stupidity. What? You thought you were Oprah? In fact, not only do people not like you, they won't give a second's thought about what you think is important, your moral values, or your hopes and dreams.
And you know what? You work with them. You shop where they shop. You vote them into office. They root for the other team. And you don't mind one bit. Most of the time. Because there's this little thing call freedom of speech and the free exercise of religion that we all have.
"Oh! Wait a minute! Stop!" you cry. "There's something else you better acknowledge, buster, and that's separation of church and state. So stick that in your conservative-fundagelical-Republitarian-flag-wavin' pipe and smoke it!"
What a weenie you are. How far you wanna take this, crybaby? Why don't you take the chaplains out of the Senate and the House? How 'bout God from the Pledge and off our money? I'm sure you'd think it was a start.
But why stop there? Let's go even further. We'll take out Christmas altogether. No Santa Clauses in the malls. No gift giving along the lines of "It's better to give than receive" (that's Scripture after all); which means no more "x shopping days left" or endless regurgatory news stories on how well the economy is doing in this post-Thanksgiving period. (Ooops. Have to take away Thanksgiving, too.) No candy canes. No cards.
Tell you what. I'll take my St. Nicholas of Myra, my Nativity Fast, and my carols, and I'll park my butt right in front of your house on the sidewalk my tax dollars pay for and freely exercise my religion outside your front door.
In fact, let's keep going. We get to keep our Bach, our Handel, and pretty much most of the highest forms of Western culture, literature, arts and music. But you can have your secular . . . er, well, what is it that godless secularity has contributed to society? Oh, well, I'm sure your kids will enjoy singing about the primordial soup from which their ancestors slimily emerged millions of years ago, and how once the earth draws nearer to the sun again, the weather will be warmer. My heart cockles are glowing at the thought.
You can go back to the terrifying, fear-mongering of the pre-Christian pagan darkness, with blood sacrifices, drunkenness, abuse. (No, sorry, the romanticized modern-day Druidic rituals are unhistorical fantasy and not reality). Oh, that's right, you're against religion. Well, then, I guess you'll have to build some sort of winter solstice holiday concert on the desacralized foundations of pagan propitiation then. Good luck. Santa's off limits. And the word "holiday"? We get that, too. Take celebration, if you want. It's a bit flashier.
Tell you what. Why stop there? We also get the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and pretty much the whole philosophical foundations on which our country was built. You can start your own country somewhere. Or just go to Canada.
Oh, and by the way, you're a minority. Get used to it.
You wanted a war this Christmas? Bring it on.
*Those Orthodox who follow the old calendar, of course, would object to the whole notion that any twelve-day Christmas feast celebrated on the new calendar is "real."
Posted by Clifton at January 5, 2005 06:30 AM