A Day in the Life

Bad Hair Day

This actually happened a couple of days ago, but I never got around to divulging ...

A friend was recently explaining to me the virtues of the product he uses to keep his hair in order, and his hair is rather impressively well-kept, so I listened. I've been using cheap gel for a long time, and I figured it was time for something new, so while at the grocery store, I perused the hair-care section and decided on Dax, a petroleum-based pomade with instructions to apply liberaly and comb out excess. This is not the product he had been espousing, but that didn't matter; it was more the novelty of something new and different that motivated me. It comes in a little red can, and it reminded me of the Dapper Dan so prominently featured in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" Surely, with a little work, I can have hair just like George Clooney, no? The next morning, I followed the directions with implicit trust ... only to find my hair a thick, gnarly mass impervious to the guidance of brush, comb, or even fingers.

I tried several bouts of shampoo, then dish soap, then kitchen degreaser, to no avail. I was now running late for work, and left my manager a message indicating that I'd had a small accident, and would explain later. I retured to the grocery store (wearing my stylish derby, naturally), but discovered no product designed to help. On another can of Dax, however, I found instructions (which were not on my can) to use vegetable oil shampoo. After a futile trip to Rite-Aid to locate such an elixir, I returned home empty handed. Not to be outdone, I pulled out the ol' bottle of Crisco and went to town. When mixed with the shampoo and used several times, this did the trick. I succeeded in restoring semi-normalcy, albeit at the cost of much hair, time, and pride, and arrived at work an hour and a half late, to the joy of explaining it all to my manager and anyone else standing around. I have since been honored by the name Slick.

Why do I share this? I don't know; glutton for punishment I guess. Good night.

Connections

I'm terrible at staying in touch. I know it's a pretty common affliction, but that doesn't make it ok. I did make some overdue calls the past couple of days, and received a couple too. It's refreshing to catch up with old friends, but I find that without shared activities it's sometimes hard to find new things to talk about, conversations routinely meandering back to the usual haunts. Perhaps the most difficult thing for me, though, is a reawakened feeling of displacement. I adapt well, I'm happy where I am, and yet, I can't help but notice that after a year here, all my best friends are still thousands of miles away. Maybe I'm not as adaptable as I thought.

My red eyes are squinting repeatedly, and it's taking way too long to type this ... but in the spirit of a conversation earlier today, I'll toss on a smile and oddly enough, any fleeting concerns will get right back to fleeting.

Slnplieg Mdeasns

I found this intriguing ...

"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. "

Thanks josh.

And now for the glass is half-empty take ...

Not to downplay the coolness factor, but when I started playing with this, I found there was a big difference between the small ordering changes in their sample and major reordering in larger words. My subject line attests to that. Double-letter combos that act as one sound seem to cause the most trouble when separated. So yeah, I guess the order still matters a little, but certainly not as much as I would have thought prior to seeing this.

Like Brother, Like Sister

Yesterday, I left my coat at my desk, keys in pocket, while I rode with a visiting consultant to a job. We didn't get back to the office until after everyone else had left, so I had no way to get in, no way to drive, and no way to get into my house. I went out to eat with the guy, then had him drop me off at a bookstudy that had just finished. Even in such moments of dumbness, you never really get stuck as long as you got the friends. Since the place we were working was downtown, I just took the bus this morning, and all is well.

On the plus side, if I had made it back to the office on time, there's a good chance I would have been on the interstate when a sudden hail and blinding sunset resulted in more than 50 vehicles participating in multiple pile ups. Exciting stuff (no major injuries, so I can say that).

Today, my sister dropped her car off at a shop, ended up working late, called and they said they'd leave the keys in the car. A coworker dropped her off without waiting to see if she was ok, and she couldn't find the keys anywhere. It was the icing on the cake of a completely crappy day. She just moved a few weeks ago, her roommate is out of town, and she doesn't have the number of any of the friends yet, so she was stuck. The coworker that dropped her off happened to wander by hours later, and suggested that she look under the floor mat, where the key turned out to be. I don't know if my initial reaction would be relief or irritation. Can you feel both at the same time?

In other news, I want to scratch the stitches off my belly. Man do they itch. Since I guess that's to be expected, I suppose I'm recovering from surgery just hunky dory. Oh, and it turns out I actually had two hernias. Yee haw.

Shield your eyes

The optical illusion below is taken from here (thanks donny).

If you care to hurt you eyes, venture further ...

Upon closer inspection, I concluded that the lines were offset by a pixel. In effect, I didn't really believe that the illusion was kosher. When I saved the bitmap and enlarged it, however, it turned out that it was real; the lines continued seamlessly. But (!), even when enlarged, they seemed to still be off by a single pixel. If so, this means that the illusion is at least partly a result of the way the monitor displays the adjacent colors.

Have the surgery drugs messed with my mind, or is my monitor actually displaying the colors differently than I would expect?

Immovable

Rather than general anesthesia, they used local anesthetics along with sedatives. I don't remember a thing, but when I came out of it an hour later, I felt totally alert and clear-headed, and no pain. I'm impressed. They really have the drugging down to an art. I could eat right away, so I decided to push the limits and went and had Chinese food. Oh yeah.

I went to sleep when I got home, tired more from staying up late than from the drugs. When I woke up and tried to move ... arrrrggh. Whadaya know - my entire body is connected to my abdomen, and the pain killers have worn off. Any movement hurts, but once I get settled, it's nothing more than a very mild dull pain. I expect I should be good for field service tomorrow afternoon, but I guess it's still wait and see.

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Being a slacker, I never bothered to buy virus protection for my PC. However, I just ran the Trend Micro online scan, and I'm delighted to report a clean bill of health.

Quit calling me "Belly Buster"

I'm going in for my hernia operation tomorrow morning. Woohoo! Anyone had one before that can tell me how soon I'll be back on my feet? Basically, I'm wondering if I can go out in service on Saturday afternoon. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see how I feel.

After my cheerful trainee made serious improvements on Wed, my management decided to give her a second chance. Although she's not as absorbant as we'd like, it may still be more practical to keep her rather than repeating the whole training process. She's trying hard, but it's gonna be a struggle. They sent my manager out with me for an hour today to observe the training process and basically audit what's happening. I was glad they did, because the boss seemed to think that my concerns were the result of my poor training or overly perfectionist standards, and now I have a second opinion to validate what I was saying.

Listening to old Blondie and REM stuff tonight. How is it I don't recognize some of these songs? Sometimes I get too stuck on my favorites and bypass the more obscure gems.

Still need to fix the comments. Just scroll down and then back up again if the comments aren't visible.

"Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies and everyone go." - ND

A Beginning for Every End

So begins a new journal, replete with ... emptiness. Not a single hint of the past, nothing to blog me down. Just a beginning for an end. I hope to achieve a more refined droll of insanity this time round. And in addition to the usual humdrum, I'll warn you now to expect the occassional rash of brain tremors. It's a surefire sign that I'm still alive.

On a distantly related note, I had to make a difficult call at work today. We hired a 50 year old gal to take over part of what I do. It's supposed to be just a data entry job, but there's a lot to it, and I guess I didn't accurately identify what skills would be needed. She's a sweetie, but after a week of training, I had to make the uncomfortable decision that she simply isn't going to cut it, not even if we give her more time. I'm no manager, so I'm not used to making calls like that, and it hurt. Her new beginning ended way too soon. Still, I figured it was better to reach that decision now rather than in a month. I hope my failure doesn't impair her continued search for work in this impoverished job market.

I barbecued salmon tonight for the first time. I thought it turned out fantastic. Yeah, I'm a natural.