the shoulda woulda coulda's.

Ok so imagine falling flat on your face on the asphalt. After getting over the shock of having rock and gravel shoved into your face and palms, you push yourself up despite the pain and look around, wondering what made you fall.
To top it off, you don't know why you fell or why you were walking down the asphalt in the first place. In fact, where the heck are you and what is this red stuff covering your hands when you touch your face?

"And the scars remind us that the past is real."

Soon enough you learn that the red liquid was blood, and that your flesh has healed, but is now scarred from the fall.

"But when she stood before the gates of paradise, she heard the anguished voices of those left on earth and, turning away from bliss, vowed to remain in the world, gently leading others until all living things reached enlightenment. Kwan Yin, a bodhisattva, became the goddess of compassion."

The above quote was part of today's Daily OM and speaks to the questions I have been asking myself about life in general..and just what the heck I'm doing wandering around in this world.
The biggest human question, "Why are we here?"
Well, I ask myself, why the heck don't I know? I refuse to believe my life is so small and insignificant that God forgot to assign SOME purpose, but I can't help if that's how I feel sometimes. The scars are still present.

I question my own serenity and even this questioning of purpose and wonder if it in itself is not a bitterness, deeply rooted. I recognize that this emotion is entangled in the lack of an answer.
My faith keeps me hoping and keeps me loving and compassionate, despite the knowledge that there will always been negativity.

Is negativity simply misguided compassion? And even if we do make our own realities, and we reap what we sow..We still have neighbors!
So how can true peace be known if in this world, after meditation I turn on CNN News?

"With my own two hands.."

So, upon pondering the question of the goddess of compassion, I questioned my selfishness inherent in the bitterness of feeling jipped into "buying into this humanity stuff". But then the realization came to me that this goddess had the -choice- and the -knowledge- of why she was on this earth and amongst us. She knew the why, how, who what when and where of what she was and was doing.
Hence the differentiating factor between humans and god(s).

I no longer felt selfish for my questioning, as we as people have not been served with the same gracious gift.
Does this justify the negativity?

For how can we know it is good if we don't make it good?

Next time, I'm not going any where until I know the answers to the six questions of "how" "what" "where" "when" "why" and mostly "who".

And then, to top that off, if ignorance is bliss then this is as good as it gets??
I know that we all essentially want the same things: peace, love, hope, happiness,,so why is there sadness? war? pain? This isnt true ignorance, so my logical hope (oxymoron?) asserts that there must be a reason.

I demand to know who made this world and why we are in it, why it was made this way, how I got here and what I'm supposed to be getting out of this. It sure would make things a lot more bearable. when? now. plskthnkx.

To know the who, makes them. To know the how and when and where prepares them. To know the what and why makes them stronger.

Posted by BLiNK at July 21, 2005 12:15 PM | TrackBack