"You've got to make yourself something special"

"I wish I could just forget."
"I mean, keep the learning part of it, but take that person's name out of my head and not remember anything about him."

----

"It makes me so mad because I know that right now, he's probably not even thinking about me, probably sitting there watching tv or playing a video game, while here I am, unable to stop thinking about him. Really really trying hard not to think about him."
"It really pisses me off, I'm seriously sick waste my time on people who don't care. People who do not care. Its so aggravating. Why do I care? Why do I care?? Why do I care about people who don't give a shit??"

..there she goes again.

"We have a lot of similarities"
"What, in guys?"
"yeah"
"Yeah I know, we should learn from each other's mistakes... but it seems like they happen at the same time!"

----

Writing here is hard. I feel like everything is so minute and laughable small in light of the previous blog entries.
My plan is to keep things simple, record daily life, and try not to dwell or obsess about unimportant things. I think the hardest part will be disconnecting myself from my daily learning and experiences. How is this possible?
In the face of temporal existance, why do I still care how I look; who said what?
It's like, Don't sweat the small stuff...It's all small stuff.
ungh!#%)!&^!!!

today
I've discovered I really like the semicolon.
I make fun of myself when I do stupid things..like burning my finger on a skillet.
I'm dreaming of designing my own studio.
I'm working on a triptych series for painting. I'm trying not to let it be purely representational of a bad subject. The colors are bright, not sure if they will be toned down later.
I'm trying not to give a sh8 about stupid things.
Its still hard to talk about the events of last weekend. Most people read "Where were you last night?" and think it is fiction.
Contemplations: What is the line between ego and confidence? aggressiveness and self-respect? Over-zealous and immaturity?

swamped with papers, not much sleep.
I still feel guilty for posting this.
I despise this feeling.

...maybe its in the face of the huge unknowns that make the knowns more precious.

Posted by BLiNK at November 17, 2004 11:11 PM | TrackBack