ooommmggg. i so dont know why I let her get to me like I do. Its so annoying and really disheartening when I get stupid degrading comments from my own art professor. And no, I'm not overreacting. I quote from class today when she spoke to a classmate of mine, "I'm the only one allowed to degrade her." Sure its part joking, but so many of her sarcastic remarks just seem out of place. And i know im stupid for doing so, but I sometimes take them personally and it ends up hurting.
Its just one of my professors though. It seems the other enjoys lavishing compliments.. in my head sometimes a little too much. Maybe im not good at taking compliments, but on that end its sometimes embarrassing to me because I don't know how to handle it. I'm pretty sure its because of my profs. affinity to the style itself, but I'd rather be embarrassed in that way than embarrassed by degrading comments. wouldnt anyone though.
Its hard balancing between the polar opposites of both classes.
Now that I consider it, her derogatory comments really erodes away at my respect for her as a teacher, and in so I tend to not take her as seriously, not get as involved in the class, and not put as much effort into the work. Though the latter is less affected than the other two because of my dedication to my own portfolio.
Its sad that I find myself slowly starting to not regard her as having a legitimate place on the pedestal of professordom.
whatever...
Now that i've realized it bothers me enough to write about it here, I plan on saying something to her.
Like anyone else, i'd actually prefer not to be embarrassed at all..but part of the reason im so nervous about this gallery opening is because i dont know what to say other than thank u when people compliment my work. I get so flushed and embarrassed even at the slightest thing.
I don't really see it this way, but my mom always said i should be proud of the work I do.
I am proud..
but its hard to be accepting of praise jsut because you see things differently than others do.
its not like I can help it or that its a skill i've cultivated for years and years.... its just part of who I am, and the design is an outlet through which I can physically manifest that seeing.
on a very happy note, my installation looks amazing. i cant believe Ruth did such a great job displaying the contents of our (Joys and mine) exhibitions. i was thrilled and riding on air after i left the gallery.
i swear it is almost as if i dont recognize my own work.
They're just getting you ready for the real world. They'll tell you suck whether you do or you don't. That's how clients act when you get out of school.
Posted by: spoot at February 3, 2004 08:41 PMYeah, also thats how teacher in a roundabout way push you further in your persuit of great art they break you down befor you build yourself up. Kind of a strange way to do it though and many art students and artist alike quit their art because of bad reviews and criticism. If all artists let things like that get to them some of the most famous artists in the would would have never amounted to anything and most of their art at first was unaccepted during the times they came about creating new movements in art and creating the vast artistly diverse world we have today, wow that sounds lke a crock lol....
Posted by: koi at February 6, 2004 02:26 PM