hey hey I'm updating my website:
Yeah yeah i know it was a cheap shot..
but did you click it??
hehehe
I really enjoy the splash page on the index. totally cool.
I talked with a friend of mine today, very briefly but it was nice. I'm really anxious around this person, but he=cool.
the conversations we had got me thinking about my some parts of my past
..
I remember this one guy that now I feel so bad for something I did to him...though hindsight tells me it was just an overload of intimidation.
I remember laughing this guy when he showed me his literally picturesque picnic basket..complete with a checkered blanket, wine glasses and the works.
I thought it was dorky or something at the time.. but where I was coming from
..my guy's idea of romantic was putting a half-ounce of pot in a jc penny's box (for christmas)...
It made me sad to think about that.
Needless to say, I couldn't tell my family what he bought for me that year.
Just as driving on the right side of the road gives us the freedom to go anywhere, so accepting the natural law of constant change is our route to freedom
Taken from Buddha's Little Instruction Book
** **
Well.. I don't know how he does it. But picking up one of my little books and reading a passage always seems to make me feel better.
Which is something I need right about now.
I mentioned the 9th.
It is now the 15th. Tomorrow it will be a week.
I'm going to go through pains not to mention what exactly has happened, mainly because I do not want to put it up for discussion. Its too personal, sorry.
But I will make an effort to try and work through this..because I feel very bland..very unhappy since the incident.
I try to ignore it, and not to think about it. Taking on the guise "out of sight, out of mind" But it seems to be floating beneath the surface, and I know something is not quite resolved.
I was looking back at some older blogs... reading through my old stuff..to try and piece together what my perspective was back then..and try to figure out why I wasn't writing as much.
I know now that it is definately caused by this succession of events, and my uncertainty of myself and my future.
Specifically..I read the December entry of Magenta Shock...and at one point I was thinking.. I wrote this?!
Its almost surreal because I feel like I was so guided and happy..and now I feel so lost and sad.
So, on thinking of the Buddha...
The only thing that is constant about life is change. We are continually changing, therefore it is unwise to hold onto the past and lust after what was once had. This just leads to sadness because in your present state there is no way to return to exactly-to-the-T what you had back then.
Now you have learned more, have grown and expanded beyond that which once was..and though you might not like where you are at at this current moment.. By idealizing the past and ignoring the fact that there were slumps and bad times that you had to get through, you are blinding yourself to the possibilities that are to come.
The reason the past is in the past, is because you have learned all that you could (and were destined to) learn from those situations.
God does not place you in a situation that you were not meant to be in. He would not place a person in a situation that that person could not handle. Is everything predestined? Whether or not it is, one should never doubt his or her connection to where he/she is at this moment.
Living life one day, one moment, one step at a time is the only true way to progress and ultimately, happiness. Grabbing onto a tree that you've already past while the line is marching on will only stretch you beyond your means. Take life as it comes... People change for a reason. You can change right now. The thing about change is, people can choose to start a new life, to start a new outlook, to START OVER...as soon as they make the decision TO DO SO. By first realizing your potential TO change, you can make the decision and put it into effect immediately!! If you choose to change the way you live your life, your decision starts affecting your other decisions/choices and ultimately, your life... as soon as you start living your new mindset! The human spirit is amazing in its ability to redirect one's train of thinking.
Don't focus on what is in the past. Learn from it, never forget these things. Look towards and move towards what the future has to offer.
It's ok to look back, but don't strain so hard that you get a crick in your neck that keeps you from looking forward.
Posted by BLiNK at January 15, 2004 09:48 PM | TrackBackThe site is looking cool, a lot better then it was. Mine is going down hill some what.
~later
omg sarah. that stuff is amazing. my birthday isn't for another 6 months, but think of me when it comes around..........i would surely appreciate one of your amazing pics.....i may even buy MYSELF a birthday present. or valentines present.....is that doable? ;)
-bitter
Website. Cool. We likes it.
Posted by: ron at January 20, 2004 01:42 PM