parresia

Please mother have mercy, and

Please mother have mercy, and take me from this place.

There is something that I have not talked about in quite some time (at least on this journal). I like a girl named Kate. She is nine years younger than me, and to most of the important people in our lives (our parents, and family) this age difference is viewed as inappropriate. It doesn't seem to me to be such, but that doesn't get us very far in the public's eye.

Kate and I not being allowed to "date" has put tremendous strain on our relationship. I find that we argue sometimes over the littlest things, and it all seems tied to our mutual "disatisfaction" with the situation. I hope that it is not tied to something deeper; frankly I don't know what she thinks of me or what her motives are on too many occasions. I am quite positive I'm guilty of imparting the same "ambivalence" if you were to ask her.

What am I to do? I have thus far supposed to carry on with the hope that when she comes of age we can pick up from where we left off. If she has other plans I don't want to stand in the way of that.

I truly believe she deserves to be happy, and often I find that I am a hinderance to that. I don't like being a roadblock, nor a hurdle.

It used to all be so easy. Prayer is needed. I believe that God has a purpose in all this; I just can't seem to find light switch in this dark room. I've been looking for it for some time now...it's almost as if someone is hiding it from me.