You know, I knew that at some point last night Bebo would make me cry. But I didn't think about it. I just went, without any of that stainless steel emotional armour, just worrying about having bought tickets for six and not quite sure they'd be there, just looking forward to a huge go cup of coffee to hold me through the two (really three!) opening singers, just wanting to hear some good music.
And then he started to sing that song. That one that I never listen to. Skip button. Next track please. I always forget that it exists until he starts it. 'Oh crap, I'm just going to endure it.' There was no enduring last night. I was right there in the middle of everything.
And just when I started crying, L. reached over and grabbed me. Knowing what was coming. And being there in my moment. I made it. I don't know how he knew that I needed him, and I don't care.
I know that I can't walk this road without companions. They are the shelter in storms. I need 'em. In ways that are always familiar and surprising.
I made it. Here I am through two days of four hours of sleep, here I am through one more day of barraging emails, standing at the edge of Colorado Springs time, wanting to just bust through the barrier of hours and be there.
i want a place where trees stand still.
he found it. hopefully, soon, we will, too.
Posted by: steph at October 4, 2004 06:15 PMi don't think anyone ever finds it. a person just finds echoes of it that get louder and louder the closer that place gets to finding them.
but "hopefully" is a grand word, all the same. and so is "want." the pain of wanting sometimes lets me know i'm alive and that there is someplace beyond all these echoes.
Posted by: bob at October 6, 2004 12:32 AMechoes? hmm. what if you're deaf?
Posted by: jeep at October 6, 2004 11:40 PM