I'm off to Florida to be in another wedding. (The two main participants are pictured above.) Not leaving until Thursday, but tomorrow will be taken up with last minute end-of-the-fiscal-year stuff at work, babysitting, haircut, laundry, swimming, prayer meeting, then serious conversation over dinner.
I'm taking part of the emotional support system, O and A, with me. L has to stay home and make money, and sixteen month old A is gonna be my date!
The house is almost empty. Tonight is W's last night. Potent mixture of sadness and excitement. No, not excitement, a better word is anticipation.
Next week, when all the festivities are over, when I travel home, I'll be parking in the driveway. There won't be anyone arriving before I do, necessitating leaving my car in the street. The lights won't be on, the AC will be off. I'm trying not to foresee an empty house as lonely, though I know that'll be a huge part of what I'll be facing. I'm going to sort through physical and emotional stuff, get rid of things I don't need, let it all sink in, and clean. Then I'm going to rearrange furniture.
For better or for worse, I invested a significant portion of my concept of home in these guys. They're leaving for good reasons, and I'm happy for them. But they're still leaving. I guess I must feel like all those parents dropping their kids off at college.
I think we've ended well. The moments when I'm not sure about that I'll just chalk up to my own insecurities.
It is as S says--God brings people into your life for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime. This season is over. It wasn't meant to last. I hereby let go of it.
Posted by mike at June 15, 2004 11:58 PM