A Jeep In Summer

You've Got To Know Who To Listen To

Ok, my mom knows that I'm not spending Thanksgiving with family, so she assumes that I'm spending it with the family of a significant other. Which is a bad assumption. Well, she just sent me this list of things to not do at my date's Thanksgiving festivities. Should I let her know I don't have a date?

1. When your hosts are serving the turkey and you say, "Breast, please," do not wink and add, "... if you know what I mean!"

2. A girl won't win points by telling her boyfriend, as you meet his brothers, "Wow, it's incredible ... I mean, honey, you'd look exactly alike if you worked out!"

3. When offered a glass of wine, it would be a bad idea to respond, "Got anything with a little more kick?"

4. Culinary compliment to avoid within earshot of the family: "Babe, this is the best meal I've had since that amazing breakfast you cooked for us after our first date!"

5. Say your honey has young nieces and nephews. Say one of them gets a little carried away crying at some point during the day. Don't say, "I see that whining thing runs in the family."

6. "Oh, Mrs. Jones, what a lovely necklace," is a great thing to tell your friend's mother or grandmother ... but best not to add, "I'd love to inherit that baby!"

10. If you ask your honey's parents how long they've been married and they smile and say "45 years," a poor response would be, "FORTY-FIVE YEARS? I'd go NUTS."