Maybe this is a momentary reaction and I'll get over it, but I feel that I just may not have what it takes to sustain a relationship. Maybe it takes more than I think it should and I need to realize that and I need to work to get to that level. But maybe that's not one of my strengths. And maybe my service to God will be found in a place outside my home. I hope that my heartbreak and thwarted desire can be refocused into a rock-solid, steadfast, ain't-never-gonna-quit, ain't-never-gonna-be-shaken dedication to God. And maybe I'll be able to help someone someday. Take the pain and re-shape it into worship and prayer and service. Walk through the hurt, knowing that I am responsible for it, that I brought myself here.
Yeah, six hour conversations reveal so much. My failings. Some laughter. Bits and pieces of reality. The inappropriate needs of my heart. My failure to rise to the occasion. The need for forgiveness.
But I get up, comb my hair, forget about the lost hours of sleep, and face what the day brings--work, conversation over Mexican food, wonderings, study, reading, prayer. Because there's really only one kind of courage.
Get up, wash your face, comb your hair, and face what the day brings you.
Posted by: Krista at November 4, 2003 01:13 PMHang in there, man. God will take of your needs when the time is right. I'm having to learn that myself these days.
Posted by: RobU at November 4, 2003 06:27 PMThe thing is, I have needs in the meantime. And what if tomorrow never comes?
Posted by: jeep at November 5, 2003 01:49 PM