The Holtonian

"Tonight Guys, we really need to get this one wrong..." What I would love Ty Pennigton to say

OK, Extreme homemakeover is just lame. I thought it was kind of neat the first few episodes it aired. I was like, "Oh cool this is like Habitat for Humanity without Jimmy Carter... and with a few recruits from HGTV." And the first few episodes were wraught with drama and infighting and mistakes by construction workers that made the show have a little drama. And sometimes, I think they actually left the house standing and rebuilt around it instead of tearing it down and building a frame house from scratch like it was made of legos. I mean the houses are like model airplanes where you don't even need glue, they're steakin snap together homes, where's the fun in that!?!?

So early on the show was kind of interesting as the teams failed to get along and missed deadlines, one show the contractor walked off the job which was kind of cool. In fact Preston, a show regular, was a complete a-hole the first two episodes if i recall correctly. The show is so scripted, like most reality shows its not even reality any more....

My most hated part of every show is right before they start to get to work Tye goes, "Guys... (dramatic pause) We really (emphasis on really) need to get this one.... (another dramatic pause)... right!" Oh really Tye? Is that what you're going to do tonight? I figured you'd half ass this one and give the people a house that was worse than their original. In fact why not just give them a mobile home, and skip town before they can 'move that bus' and find another bus behind it.

That would be awesome... "Move that bus!" Family looks puzzled at another bus, "Well we couldn't do the home thing so we tore down your old home and bought you a tour bus like ours... without a tv, running water, heat or air, and only a quarter tank of gas. OH and there's this guy Gus, he sort of lives in it along with you, and he doesn't really believe in hygene, Enjoy!

I'd love to just hear Tye say, "Guys, we really need to screw this one up big time tonight..."

And what I found hilarious about tonight's episode: this family of 8 kids or so, and a single mom, that's not the funny part, well, All (the detergent folks) gives the family a 100K scholarship to send the kids to college... 8 kids, 100K, hope its in state because that won't last long, especially after books are purchased. I was like, "come on All, water down some of your detergent a little more and give the people a little more than that."

The show is so scripted you don't even need to watch it. Family in rough times, they're most likely saintable by the catholic church for either their troubles or their works, the crew comes in, fam goes out, crew tears house down to video tape that Tye sends to fam on vacation, each crew member picks a room and theme, gay guy goes to Sears and does all the shopping, bus is moved, family is moved and all is well with the world.

I'm all for less fortunate or people in need getting these gifts, heck what person wouldn't want a room with 5 plasma tvs... even if it can only get ABC. BTW, who needs 5 tvs in one room? Couldn't that money be given to charity or one of those tvs be given to say someone who lost a tv in a hurricane or something? But more importantly, I don't know how this ever became entertainment? I mean its the whole quandry of how reality became entertaining. I mean to quote my generation... or perhaps the one before me, Reality Bites. THat's why video games are fun. For me what I find entertaining on TV is the stuff that's usually way off base from reality. Like cartoons, Lost, and the Office... which is sort of like real life but taken to an extreme that makes it hopefully utterly unrealistic.

Iv'e ranted about reality tv before. Luckily most of the really crappy running shows are dieing. I haven't seen a bachelor for a while. You knew that would die as every season got trashier and trashier... not that I ever watched that crap... i'm a man I watch manly stuff like.... Gobots. Gobots, now that's reality TV.