Grammar Police Officer

On Being Literal-Minded

Sometimes it bites to be literal-minded.

When I was in third grade, there were 31 students in my class and only 7 girls. We had the option to go on a field trip to the water treatment plant, to the electric plant, or to the sewage treatment plant, and the decision was put to the class in a vote. Guess where we went? Yes, all the boys voted to go to the sewage treatment plant.

Sometimes it bites to be literal-minded.

When I was in third grade, there were 31 students in my class and only 7 girls. We had the option to go on a field trip to the water treatment plant, to the electric plant, or to the sewage treatment plant, and the decision was put to the class in a vote. Guess where we went? Yes, all the boys voted to go to the sewage treatment plant.

The night before the field trip, I still hadn't turned in my permission slip, and consequently the teacher called Mom and Dad and asked if I was still going to go. I'm bad at turning stuff in anyway, but I was afraid to turn in my permission slip because the teacher had mentioned as a joke that we would need to bring our boots (haha, what a funny joke!). I thought we were going to be slogging through ankle-deep poop! I didn't want to go! I would rather sit in someone else's classroom and read the entire afternoon!

My parents explained to me (I was crying because I really didn't want to go wade through poop) that the teacher had been joking -- she was being silly -- and that we wouldn't really be slogging through poop. So I turned in my permission slip the next day and went on the field trip.

It wasn't all that fun, but it certainly was memorable. My most specific recollections of the field trip? Seeing the "solids strainer" (yes, it strained out the solids that were flowing in) and learning that the highest input-flow came in the mornings, and the highest morning-input-flow was Sunday mornings. Sunday-morning showers, you know. I also remember that most of the laundry-soiled water came in on Wednesdays, so many people in Colorado Springs back in the day did their laundry on that day. These sorts of facts fascinated (and still fascinate) me.