Grammar Police Officer

Self-Image and Stuff

For the last week, I have been walking around my house and gathering the stuff I want to take to Hawaii with me. Yesterday I got it all packed into a rolling suitcase, a large Tupperware bin, and my rolling carry-on bag. I am also mailing a box that has light-but-bulky stuff in it, such as a few canisters that I picked up at a garage sale.

I am leaving a lot of my stuff here. I own a lot of books and am only taking about 7 of them. 1 is my Bible, two are books that I am in the middle of reading, and 5 are professonal/education books. I am also taking 3 journals.

I have clothes...but only one sweater. This is odd because I love my sweaters and how many options I have with cold-weather clothing. I am leaving my nice wool pants but all my sleeveless blouses. I am not taking my nice wool coat but am taking a raincoat.

I have linens. Sheets, towels, and a quilt, and my teddy bear, but no blankets. I doubt I will need one, but if I do, there's a Wal-ville there.

So I spent all day arranging my gathered stuff into these suitcases and rubber box. Going to bed last night was odd because I really think I am realizing how many of my things I am leaving behind. What is it about stuff that I think defines me? My furniture...I worked hard pricing it and choosing the exact right kind and keeping it nice all this time, but now I am leaving it. My books...I love to have them around me to read anytime I want or just to look at and think about what they have taught me. My clothes...some of them...I have always lived in a climate where you need sweaters. I have lived most of my life here in Colorado where you just don't wear short sleeves in the cold season, because you'll be covering it up anyway.

So who am I without all these things? It's not that I won't have stuff for me to find identity in...but I'll have so much less of my stuff than I actually own. And why do I put so much of my identity in my stuff anyway? Am I not supposed to be like Abram, setting my heart on pilgrimage and storing up treasures in heaven? I am like Abram, I am assured, but it's a bit of a wake-up call to be spending the last few days with all of my things in the house that I love in the city that I know in the state that I thrill in its beauty, and knowing that too much of myself is tied up in these items that have memories (or value) attached to them.

I wonder what I will think or how I will think when I am apart from most of these things and have fewer items.