a very uncomfortable place

i'm in a rut

i just do not know what is up with me. i used to do so well at work. now i just feel meh about it all. what is wrong with me? where has my happiness gone? it still resides in my matthew. being in his arms i feel like i can fly from here to forever. but at work lately i just feel so inadequate and lonely. i can tap a vein like it's nobody's business...usually. lately i can't even break through a cat's skin. i can usually get a perfect appointment but i've been screwing up everything. but it's mainly forgetfulness that is the problem. am i having trouble focusing. why can i not just do things right? i have the weekend. and tomorrow someone is going to cover for me while all of us go to six flags. i just don't know what to do anymore. it's odd. i was so confident and now i'm just um um um um um. it made me cry! okay i'm done venting. pictures...no, no pictures right now. maybe later though. maybe later...