A situation has arisen lately concerning our newspaper that I'd like to address in the form of a tip:
When a local band plays a show, no matter how technically proficient they are, no matter how slick their CD art is, no matter how much their mama loves them, and no matter the fact that they're local, IT'S OK NOT TO LIE when you think their recent concert (that cost $10 friggin' dollars to attend) was pretentious and dull, and that's what you want to write in your review.
And when a rumor arises that members of said band are so upset by the review that they grab copies of your paper off the rack and throw them in the garbage, IT'S OK NOT TO LIE when you say that they are punks, and should be beaten with a crate of their pretentious and dull CDs.
Print this tip out, and add it to your files...