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December 28, 2005

With utmost sincerity...

...I propose the following: Extreme Makeover Home Edition visits the Mendonsa's.

I know $150,000 has (almost) already been raised, but how can we get this done? I can't think of a family more deserving.

Seriously...

Posted by colrus at 10:05 PM | TrackBack

Download Lazy Bear's new Ben Folds Parody

Click here to download "Don't Change Your Pants," Lazy Bear Productions' parody of Ben Folds' "Don't Change Your Plans."

Posted by colrus at 05:01 PM | TrackBack

December 27, 2005

Flonkkerton

Tonight's last Tuesday episode (they move to Thursday next week) of The Office on NBC is a re-run of the hilarious "Office Olympics" episode. During the episode, Pam and Jim create an event called Flonkkerton, which is the "national sport of Icelandic paper companies." A huge Office fan named Nikki has created a priceless how-to diagram of this amazing box-of-copy-paper-snowshoe-racing game.

(Link courtesy of Northern Attack, the biggest Office site on the Web.)

Posted by colrus at 01:57 PM | TrackBack

December 21, 2005

Johnny Damon signs with the Yankees

What is going on here?

During an offseason that's seen the Red Sox a tad quiet, the loss of Johnny Damon (and to the Yankees no less) is somewhat disconcerting. Unless the Red Sox know something about Damon's ailing left shoulder that we don't, I find it hard to believe that they couldn't or wouldn't match the Yankees offer. Damon wanted to stay in Boston. Boston had other plans. And now they have $10+ million extra to play with.

What's left to play with out there, though, is hard to say. Most primo names have gone elsewhere, and it seems to me -- with the exception of the Josh Beckett deal -- that they Red Sox' "G.M. by committee" approach is floundering a bit. Let's get Theo back and get things going on the player front, shall we? How about some trades? A shortstop would be nice. (So would Johnny Damon...) I just don't know, folks. When I look at the current cast of characters, I'm thinking third place at best... The only saving graces to this whole thing are that a) current Red Sox management is just about crazy enough to do anything and b) the Yankee pitching staff might actually be worse next year. If that's even possible...

The Red Sox Current Depth Chart:

C: Jason Varitek, Ken Huckaby, Kelly Shoppach
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: Tony Graffanino, Mark Loretta, Alex Cora, Dustin Pedroia
SS: hmmm...
3B: Mike Lowell, Andy Marte
LF: Manny Ramirez
CF: a quality baseball player, we hope...
RF: Trot Nixon
DH: David Ortiz

Starting Pitching: Josh Beckett, Curt Schilling, David Wells, Tim Wakefield, Matt Clement, Bronson Arroyo

Relief Pitching: Guillermo Mota, Rudy Seanez, Mike Timlin, Jon Papelbon, Craig Hansen, Keith Foulke, Lenny DiNardo

Ugh.

Posted by colrus at 01:20 AM | TrackBack

December 20, 2005

They got me...

The MySpace people. And I don't even have a band...

What's going on here?

The results later.

Posted by colrus at 11:18 PM | TrackBack

December 19, 2005

Outlisting the Listless Listers or Clap Your Hands Say No

So we are currently putting our "Top Ten of 2005" issue to bed...

In addition to a separate list of the top ten local albums, five of our writers (me included) picked our top ten albums of the year. I don't think any of us repeated a single pick. This will not do at publications like Pitchfork where (if today's individual writers' top singles lists are any indication) writers battle to outrank each other with a pool of the same, maybe, 60 albums. It gets dull to read after a while.

"Oh, he put that there? Well, I would've put it there."

Which approach is better? We miss stuff. They miss stuff.

I don't know. It's all just pop songs, anyway...

The most curious development of this whole process?

I find it amazing that so many supposedly heterosexual men are suddenly Kelly Clarkson fans.

Posted by colrus at 08:17 PM | TrackBack

The Most Ridiculous Neighbor Argument Ever

In case you didn't know, my neighbor is nuts. She's in her 80's, she's never happy and she insists on making "rules" for Melissa and I to follow, despite the fact that a) she doesn't own the building or property, b) the landlord has to told me -- on more than one occasion -- to pay her no mind and c) I've never given her any indication that I was interested in following any of them.

-She doesn't want me to lock the front door.
-She doesn't want me to "walk around in my boots at 5 o'clock in the morning anymore" despite the fact that I have never done so.
-When we first moved in, she SERIOUSLY implied -- via a note -- that we should "observe the Lord's Day" by "not doing laundry on Sunday."

(A couple of weeks ago, as I had just put laundry on to wash, she opened her door and yelled at us through our closed door, "You sure do a lot of laundry on Sundays!" before slamming her door, opening the front door and slamming it, too, on her way out to wait for a friend to pick her up at the end of our driveway. Melissa, infuriated at her behavior, walked out the back door and told her mom (whom she was talking to on her cell phone at the time) about it. When our neighbor noticed my spunky, little wife, she jumped a little and waved at her like nothing had happened.)

I have tons of notes from her. I've kept most of them. One day, I'll post them here.

The latest incident was so bizarre, that I thought I should share...

Some background:

Me and this crazy neighbor share a laundry room, smack dab in the middle of the duplex and between our two apartments. She is already convinced that I am always touching her stuff and that I rest my laundry basket on the corner of her dryer when I remove laundry from mine. Despite repeated assurances that I seldom even USE a laundry basket, she's convinced otherwise. While this constant harrassing paranoia was once annoying, it's now becoming a bit entertaining. She often wads up newspaper to stick between our two machines as some sort of demented line of demarcation and covers both her washer AND her dryer doors with old towels to ensure that I don't somewhow dirty up her stuff. She also places ALL of her laundry products in plastic Dollar General bags, double-knotting them so that I, again, don't mess with her stuff. She has also filled the laundry room and the adjacent foyer with air fresheners, and will often spray continuously -- for 30 seconds or more -- cheap Lysol in the foyer as some sort of "you stink" sign despite the fact that I'd bet anything that our side of the building is cleaned five times for every time she cleans hers once. We are not slobs. Neat freaks, even.

The incident:

On Friday, I noticed that my dryer wasn't working. I called a repairman and, on Saturday, he came to fix it. As was needed, he pulled the dryer out to investigate. It made a little noise and while he was crouched down behind it working, she opened her door, shouted something to the effect of "What's the matter?!?" and slammed her door. The repairman was a cool guy and was startled a bit until I assured him that a) she was crazy and that b) she didn't own the place. Eventually he left and I dried some clothes.

The next morning, upon going to get my clothes out of the dryer, I noticed the following written on a piece of paper towel wrapped around the aforementioned protective bundle of newsprint:

What's REALLY nutty about the whole thing is that the note was continued on her dryer IN INDELIBLE INK. I almost lost it. I've never seen such a thing:

I haven't been home all day. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Posted by colrus at 05:32 PM | TrackBack

December 16, 2005

This is All I Want for Christmas

A few of you might know why I want this little number.
Don't wrap it or anything. Just stick it in an old plastic bag.

Posted by colrus at 09:51 AM | TrackBack

December 15, 2005

New Year's Blogsolutions

Well, with the New Year fast approaching, I thought it would be a good time to take stock of my life, and blogging is one aspect of that life. With that in mind, I have compiled a list of New Year's Blog Resolutions -- or Blogsolutions, if you will -- that I thought I'd share. Maybe you'd like to share you list, too.

(This list is not so much for you, the reader, but for me to refer back to from time to time to make sure that I'm doing my blog job, or blob, if you will...)

Here we go:

Bill's 2006 New Year's Blogsolutions

1. My ire for our country's political climate well-known at this point, I will try to be more vicious in my comments about it, leading people to want to personally attack me more than they ever dreamed.
2. I will post more often -- on this and the other two blogs I run -- with hopes of informing and engaging readers.
3. I will post more cute crap than ever before.
4. I will FINALLY upload my vast archive of multimedia projects for your perusal.
5. I will encourage and promote the blog as a valuable communication tool.
6. I will try to elminate grammatical errors in my posts.
7. I will not shy away from posting my true thoughts about issues, regardless of how "outnumbered" I am.
8. I will thank Josiah and Ron repeatedly for maintaining this FREE, CONVENIENT service.
9. I will try to post about the Red Sox more often.
10. I will try to post more pictures.
11. I will try to be of help to somebody via the blogosphere.
12. I will admit when I'm wrong, or when my convictions have changed, via my blog.
13. I will praise and direct readers to blogs worthy of attention.
14. I will use the blogosphere as an added outlet to my other media outlets in order to provide the community with more useful, helpful and important information. I will push myself into fatigue to do this, as this medium is too powerful to be taken for granted.
15. I will try to watch my language and be respectful of those I disagree with. (Notice I said "try.")
16. I will use this blog as a creative writing outlet and a message board to exchange ideas with fellow creative folk.
17. I will use this blog to stay in touch with my friends and loved ones out of state.
18. I will use this blog to let other people learn about me and, hopefully, as a means to learn about others.
19. I will limit my discussions about "the importance of blogging," but will meet to discuss it AWAY from the blog.
20. I will try to liveblog more often, as well as organize and produce audio and video podcasts.
21. I will try to make money via my blog.
22. I will try not to delete comments.
23. I will laugh loudly in the faces of those who ridicule blogging in favor of, say, message boards, which are (essentially) the same thing, just circa 1993.
24. I will laugh loudly at myself for being such a dork about all this.
25. I will do all of this and more.

Posted by colrus at 09:51 PM | TrackBack

December 14, 2005

Musical MySpace Moment

As one who has to look at tons of bands' web sites each week, I'm beginning to think that MySpace is turning out to be a counterproductive tool for the artists. Each site (at least in framework) is a carbon copy of the next which does nothing to combat the homogenous corporate radio atmosphere that kills, in my opinion, the originality and variety so desperately needed in music these days.

While the tools, community and ease of use within MySpace are a recognizable draw, so much of popular music marketing is image and that image should, to me, include the design of a band's web site.

In other words, all hail the independent web designer. You rock.

Posted by colrus at 03:14 PM | TrackBack

December 13, 2005

The Emergency Reinvent Tookie Campaign

Tookie Williams was not apt to admit his guilt (especially lately) because he didn't want to damage the image makeover that was being carried out on his behalf in recent years; a makeover that tried in vain to focus "the issue" on his good work inside prison rather than the murders he committed to land himself there.

Last night, the racist media whore Jesse Jackson could be seen (on any TV channel that would have him) arguing about Williams' children's books and how that the good work Williams did in creating them was grounds for reprieve. (He danced around questions about Williams' actual guilt, attempting, again, to keep people "focused on the issue" that he wanted them to hear.)

I find it interesting that Jackson, who, again, is a racist media whore, always shows up to defend black folks in desperate situations when it is the following of his brand of racist rhetoric that puts many young black folks in desperate positions to begin with.

...Rhetoric that is promoted and all-too-often accepted by young, angry black men -- some of whom who join gangs and, sometimes, kill people. Like Tookie Williams did.

Tookie Williams didn't admit his guilt because, after serving time in prison, he became a good man. And good men don't lie. Men like Jesse Jackson do. (Did I mention that he's a racist media whore?)

Mr. Jackson, please shut up. You're killing our good, young black men.

(As an aside: Arguments stating that those guilty shouldn't be executed because the victims' families are emotionally indifferent once the execution is committed are moot to me. Victims' families have a right to be as happy, sad, satisfied or indifferent as they want to be. After all, it is their family member that was killed. Whatever gets them through it. Are we going to take into consideration for sentencing the manner in which people grieve now? Puh-leez. Law is law and it should be honored. Those wanting to change the law should fight to change it.)

Browbeat away.

Posted by colrus at 04:16 PM | TrackBack

December 11, 2005

Create Your Own cliche

As a newspaper editor, you can imagine that I possess an affinity for words. I am also fascinated by the origins of words. Cliches have always fascinated me, too, and I (for what reason, I don't know) often find myself wondering, "Do people intentionally create these things, or are they the product of repeated use?"

Such are the ponderings of a dork.

Anyway, my friend Brian and I like to joke about cliches, often creating new ones by blending existing ones. Example: "Don't cry over sour grapes."

I'd like to use this blog post as an invitation for you to create your cliche(s). Post as many as you'd like. I'll highlight some my favorites from your suggestions in a later post.

Posted by colrus at 07:14 PM | TrackBack

December 10, 2005

Old at 32

You know you're getting old when, after returning home before 9 p.m. on a Friday night, you get all excited when you discover that PBS is (again) airing The Civil War.

It's OK, though...

Tomorrow night, we are having some friends over for dinner and, after they have gone home for the night, I'll likely be trudging out to the C.I.A. Music Awards. The Pulse is up for "Best Entertainment Publication." It should be a loud, young and fun time.

Maybe I can fake the cool.

Posted by colrus at 03:32 AM | TrackBack

The Office moves to Thursday nights in January

NBC's The Office, the only show I MUST watch each week, is moving (along with My Name Is Earl) to Thursday nights in January.

The show will not air next week, but a repeat of this week's viciously funny Christmas party episode will re-air on Tuesday, December 20. Set the recording device of your choice.

(Again, as I previously stated, I'm sure the British version of this show was amazing and will always be better to some folks because, well, it was British...and because people like to snobbily point out how their cult favorites are better than the bigger versions. But they're not making that show anymore and the U.S. version is quite good, thank you. This is the last comment I will make in response to these now-tedious comparisons.)

Posted by colrus at 03:24 AM | TrackBack

Paper Clips

I just finished watching the film, Paper Clips.

If this film doesn't rip your heart out, then you don't have a heart.

Posted by colrus at 03:01 AM | TrackBack

December 05, 2005

Put it on DVD!

Do you have any old home videos, TV shows or movies that are taking up space and collecting dust in their current videotape form? Perhaps you'd like to give some video memories as a Christmas gift.

Well...

Let me convert them to DVD for you.

Simple, quick and cost-effective. Tell me what you have and what you need, and I will get back to you A.S.A.P. with an estimate.

Season's Greetings!

Posted by colrus at 10:43 AM | TrackBack