RIGHT TO THE CHIN

It's probably Kerry's fault...

Bill, quite obviously this is not your fault. I propose we pass new legislation that would require Blcokbuster and other movie rental companies to provide you with a courtesy call at least 24 hours prior to the return time and again at 4 hour intervals during the last 24 hours of rental. Further, a mandatory pick up and delivery service at no additional cost for the physicaly challenged, single vehicle families, students without motorized transportation and the chronically lazy and disorganized (qualify under social diseases). This of course should be brought before the House by Democrats since Republicans want to take your movie viewing rights away. I mean Bush would like nothing more than to blow up Hollywood, or at the very least ban all cinema not first approved by a Republican majority in both the House and Senate of which the subject matter must be either non-political, have no environmental agenda, have no socio-economic message, and must include at least 6 explosions, fully automatic weapons, a flame thrower, and Middle-Eastern terrorists trying to blow up the world. Further, all late rental fines collected will be taxed at a rate of 38% and used towards exploring alternative fuel sources so that Big Oil will eventually go belly up. The remaining 62% of the fines will be used towards administrative costs associated with the newly formed CDS (Cinematic Delinquency Service)for which there will be no less than one office per major metropolitain market and no more than 50 miles between customer service field offices. Rural areas will be serviced by having field agents assigned out of those major markets and covering no more than three wards per agent. Why should you be made to pay for late movie rentals. Aren't you already geting fleeced by excesive rental fees. I mean $4.00 for a week long movie rental, c'mon! I just want to watch it, not buy it. And how important is it to rewind before returning... isn't everything on DVD now anyway. Move into the 21st Century. AS a matter of fact, DVD rental should be included in the cost of the movie rental for those who don't or can't afford their own machines. I mean why should the economically disenfranchised be discriminated against simply because they can't afford to purchase a DVD player. Inner city kids have rights too, dammit! Who's with me? Tonight, "Chocolate" for everyone!