RIGHT TO THE CHIN

Wally Witkowski To Run For Local NAACP Chief Position

After years of speculation, talk host and columnist to enter November election

With current Chattanooga-Hamilton County NAACP President Eddie Holmes stepping down after eight years, the organization is looking for his successor. And though the election for a new chief isn’t until November, one name rumored to fill the position is WGOW “Village Idiot” Wallace W. (Wally) Witkowski.

Witkowski, who also writes the “Gravy Stains” column in Enigma, says he “loves his black peoples,” and hopes to get to “show them that love” while in office.

“I know I don’t talk about it much, but one of my foremost goals in life is to help the black community,” says Witkowski. “The way I figure, we’ve got a lot of common. We’ve both faced discrimination, and we’ve both learned to overcome. I’d like to sa-lute all they’ve been able accomplish, and I think I can help them to continue their fine tradition.”

Supporters of Witkowski praise his people skills and leadership abilities, as well as his ability to have business names imprinted on pencils and golf balls through his company, T.B. Enterprises. The NAACP could also benefit from Witkowski’s curbside parking agreements with many local restaurants.

“That could come in handy if they’re having trouble finding a place to park for a banquet or a lunch meeting, or if they’re just too tired to walk too far,” says fellow “Idiot” and Witkowski campaign manager, James Lee (J.R.) Reynolds, III.
If elected, Witkowski will host a gala celebration at the Heartland Grill in Dayton.

A St. Elmo baker has already been hired to make a giant red velvet cake shaped like Wally, and Clarence Carter has been booked to perform.