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March 24, 2004

Life Lessons Through Liquor

Alcohol is a crutch. It's a stress reliever. A stress inducer. A game face. It's an indicator of one's success as well as one's downfall. It can be used to celebrate a joyous occasion and it can lead to a tragic event. It's good for your health and bad for your health. It can cost as much as you want or as little as you can afford. It can be used to toast a marriage and to forget a divorce. Like a gun, it all depends on the person, and what they choose to do with it.

Now, I'm not a drinker, but my family is well-versed in libations. One side of my family, in particular, seems to be in a race to the grave with a bottle in their hands. Many of those who've already died, died young. And many of those who are still living don't have much living left. And, with this being the week of St. Patrick's Day, should I dare mention that this side of my family is almost entirely Irish? Memories of my childhood are smattered with images of drunk aunts, uncles, and cousins at the local Irish club. At first, these images were scary. Then, they became funny. Now, they're just sad. It's sad to think about how much life these people missed simply because they couldn't get their heads out of the bottle.

The other side of my family handles their liquor a little bit better. But there is one person (who shall remain nameless) who, after a few after dinner Southern Comforts, magically transforms into an incoherent crooner, accompanying himself equally as incoherently on the piano. He'll then move