RIGHT TO THE CHIN

"Beware of the Dangerous Paper Non-Filer": My Run-In With The Law

As promised, here's is the account of my recent run-in with the law.

On January 27th at about 7:30, I left my house on Signal Mountain to pick up some food. Right before I reached the restaurant, I was stopped for a bad headlight. I was only issued a warning for the headlight, but upon the routine practice of "running" my driver's license, three other cops cars pulled up, at which point I was informed that my license had been revoked.My license was then taken and I was given a ride to my house (1 mile away) in the back of a cop car. The officer (a black, female Signal Mountain cop...do those exist?) was extremely nice, and just doing her job, but I was extremely angry because I HAD NO IDEA THAT MY LICENSE HAD BEEN REVOKED. I was never notified.

After further investigation on my part, when I had my only-ever car accident in 2001, I failed to file a piece of paper saying that I had never been sued for the accident. Doesn't make much sense to me, but that's what my license status form says from the state of Tennessee. How can you file a piece of paper saying you were never sued before the staute of limitations runs out for the "victim" to sue you?

It also says that I failed to maintain insurance. SO, after calling my INSURANCE company, they said they had no record of my license being invalid. Now, I DIDN'T have insurance at the time of the accident, but have had it ever since, and already appeared in court in 2001 for the accident and (thought) I had all the proper papers on file with the state. I guess not.

So, instead of taking me to jail, the officer said I could turn myself in--which I did the following Friday. I was fingerprinted and booked and spent some time not in jail, but in a "waiting area" with some other guys who were awaiting lock-up. I got to watch the Hamilton County Inmate Orientation video (every third time it plays, it's in Spanish) about 100 times. The inmates in the video seemed so happy be there. Weird.

Anyway, one inmate passed through my area to get a cup of iced tea. He was the guy who recently put a revolver in his girlfriend's rectum and pulled the trigger. I recognized his photo. She will be in Erlanger for a LONG time. When you hear about a story like that, you take an extra minute to look at the sick bastard who did it...

I went to court today, and should have my license back early next week. I still don't quite understand WHY my license was revoked, but I'm not going to push the issue.

Sorry, I didn't kill anybody. And, no, I don't have a copy of my mug shot. Besides, they don't even look like mugshots anymore...