Deathclock

Found this site www.deathclock.com in a segment on MSN Video. Take a guess at my timely demise.. Guess what determines you ultimate age: BMI (Body Mass Index) and outlook (pessimistic, optimistic, normal).

My Personal Legend

For someone who has everything he's ever wanted and more, given all this by God, I sure do a lot of complaining. I realized today, while teaching a Bible class, that maybe I need to listen to myself, or more importantly to Gods Word, and be grateful for all I have--even my time. Every day, every moment is a gift. Each smile I see on my son's face, priceless. What more do I want out of life?

If nothing else, this book makes me realize how much I already have, how much of my dreams are already fulfilled. Maybe now its time to focus on giving back?

Not enough time.. for all that I want

I don't have time to do anything that I want to do anymore, not because of Jackson specifically, but everything. I do things, but I just don't have time to do the big things: write a novel, shoot indie films, anything physical or exercise-related. When I think about where I could find more time, you would think I could prioritize and drop something, but what?

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Church
4. School--teaching or learning
5. Work

(Notice I don't put God first, I'd like to think He is prominent throughout.)

Quite frankly, work is the only thing I would be willing to spend less time doing, as obvious as that sounds. I love my job. I can't imagine anything more fun or challenging, but c'mon, who wants to spend 8-5 everyday in the same place doing roughly the same thing.

Several people I know are dedicating their lives to part-time working. I don't know where they are going to live in a few years, or how they will afford children, but the overall philosophy of quality of life over income is pretty intriguing.

Ideal schedule, work 6 hours at the office 10 - 4, work a couple more from home with RealVNC or something, spend tons more time with Kerry and Jackson doing the fun things I enjoy.

Another guy I know is quitting UTC to take his family sailing for who knows how long. Now that's living. Maybe I should take my family somewhere far away..

Love Song

I think for the last 10 years, maybe 12 years, I've felt like basically the same person, a guy who likes to have fun and tries to do good things. Graduating college and getting a job and then getting married made some superficial changes to my life, but I've been basically the same guy.

Then Kerry got pregnant. Even though we planned it, it brought the fear: How is this going to change us? Can we change when we need to? You spend those nine months as a father thinking, how can I be a man, a Dad, when I feel like such a boy myself.

Then Jackson was born. And nothing happened. Like I expected some kind of morphing of myself into, well, into a real adult. But it didn't. For Kerry it did. The biology and chemistry that goes into mothering is staggering. She changed a bunch, and into the most caring, loving, incredible mother I could ever imagine.. not that I'm a slouch as a Dad. And she's been a "real" adult this whole time anyway.

But tonight it hit me. Jackson is 13 months old. I'm 30. While everything about my life is going as planned and the joy of my son is unimaginable, I realize I've changed, I'm changing, getting old. Maybe it's because we were having dinner at Piccadilly, which is very much like going to a funeral because it makes you think seriously about your own mortality (I saw an old man sheepishly cutting up bites and feeding his more feeble wife). At least it made me aware, I'm not a boy anymore. I'm a man.

Anyhoo. It's not sad, or uncomfortable. It just is.

"Let us go then, you and I..."