Cool Jesus, by Rebecca Robinson
The other day, in the toy department at Wal-Mart, I saw a row of hot lavender boxes with cellophane fronts on a shelf. “Cool Jesus” they said in puffy letters, and through all those cellophane windows, I saw my old friend smiling at me with those shiny, happy teeth. There he was—rows and rows of him—all different, all so cool in their various cool outfits. All saying, “I am it.” I looked and looked for the real Jesus, and then I noticed they were all the same—all cool.
I glanced at the nearest “Cool Jesus” box and noticed that the doll inside was staring at me in a particularly fixed way. The white smile in the brown face somehow made him look like no first century Jew the world has ever seen. When I pulled the string that stuck out of the box, he started talking in his tinny little voice full of every all-American smile ever smiled by a jerk on TV.
It's nice to see that everybody's at least being honest with themselves about what they really think about Jesus. I saw this coming when I was 5 years old and the teacher first put the little felt Jesus up on the sticky board. As long as he comes with an application to join the Republican Party I'm okay with this.
Posted by: Dale at March 18, 2009 1:57 AMThanks - I enjoyed that.
Posted by: smijer at March 17, 2009 7:51 AM