It's funny how much cirumstances dictate many friendships, but strong friendships continue despite the circumstances. When I think back 10 years (1993/1994), I was in 10th grade and very socially active. Thinking about the 10 people I hung out with the most that year, there is only one of them I still talk to regularly. (That would be my brother.) In fact, of those other 9 people, I've seen/talked to only 1 of them more than 5 times since highschool.
Thinking back 5 years (1998/1999), I was in my 3rd year of college. I lived with Elizabeth that year. I saw her almost everyday and hung out with her several times a week. I've e-mailed her once since she left Moscow. Of all the other people I would have considered to be among my closet friends (even if I include the top 20), I see/talk to 3 of them regularly.
Of all the people I've been close to over the past 4 years, the list has been fairly constant, especially if I made a top 10 list. My circumstances have changed greatly in those four years: graduating college, moving from Moscow to Nacogdoches, going to grad school for a bit, then moving from Nacogdoches to Monroe a year later. Throughout that time though, I've had the same friends. Maybe I've gotten better at figuring out who I'm friendship-compatible with. Maybe I've just gotten lucky.
I had the pleasure of spending another weekend with old friends. (By old, I mean people who I met my freshman year of college.) When we all met, who knew we would be getting together 7 years later and 2,500 miles away in Texas (last weekend) and Louisiana (this weekend)? I hope that we'll still be getting together 5, 10, and 20 years from now.
I know this is kind of a sappy post. I've just been thinking about how there are people who I think will have a big influence on my future, but they turn out to be little more than acquaitances and then there are those people who I expect to be mere accessories to my life who turn out to be so important to me...once again proving that I need to work on my psychic skills.
Posted by christin at October 27, 2003 04:43 PM | TrackBackFunny that you mention that. I keep in touch with exactly 2 people from college, and they both live in Lafayette. Cool.
Posted by: SonofThunder at October 27, 2003 05:22 PMMy oldest friend is a guy I met when I was in the second grade. That was 34 years ago. We were best friends through grade school and high school and college. I count it one of the greatest blessings in my life that we remain close friends after so many decades. It reminds me of the Simon and Garfunkel tune, Old Friends. I hope you can look back 20 years from now and have some relationships that have weathered the miles.
Posted by: Rus at October 27, 2003 07:31 PMI know what you mean. I was too young to be affected by our first move, but I never knew just how much I would lose upon moving this last time. I still count those people who I never talk to or see as my best friends, those who have taught me the most. They really only live in my memories, so I wonder if memories are really all that good after all? It's too comfortable to remember someone when I should be trying to actively find them again. I guess it leaves room for those times that your past slaps you in the face and you find yourself reliving it...and that's really what I should have blogged about today...
Posted by: Gray at October 28, 2003 12:07 PMChristin,
I hope to be your old friend till we get old and crippled. There's nothing like getting together with your friend even if you haven't seen them in years, and picking up right where you left off, like you'd never been apart.
Well, I'm not looking forward to the crippled part, but I am looking forward to many more years of your company.
Posted by: Christin at October 30, 2003 09:58 AM