verbingnouns

A Dear Diary Moment

I attribute it to the 'grass is always greener' syndrome. Or the precocious nature that we were when we were younger reinventing itself in our 20-something world. I remember when I wanted to get my ears pierced, then I wanted to get a perm, then I wanted to wear makeup -- my Mom told me that each would come with time, and if I had done all of those things at once, what would I have to look forward to? I'm thinking it's the same thing, just in today's context. We couldn't wait to graduate high school, to get to college; couldn't wait to get a job; couldn't wait to find a boyfriend, can't wait to get engaged, can't wait to get married...it continues. It's the 'wishing your life away' syndrome, the wanting it to be Friday every Monday morning, the looking ahead that appeals to us that sadly, when thinking back upon it, makes me think that I'm barely living in the moment and just waiting for the future.

That said, I want to settle down. NOW. (If only I had someone to settle down with...)

Wow. I don't know the girl who made that comment, but she captured my feelings almost perfectly. Sometimes I stop and realize that I spend so much time planning for the future, that I forget that the things that happen to me in the meantime are my life. Don't get me wrong: I'm not discontent with my life. In fact, I rather like it. But I do sometimes find myself wishing for the weekend when it's only Monday, or wishing for that next big step in life without being thankful for where I am and what I have. I remember all that time I spent in high school waiting to move on to college, and once I got in college, I remember wondering what life would be like in "the real world". Well, I guess this is it, huh? Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between setting goals for my future and daydreaming my life away. I need to live in the now, but not live for the moment. Easier said than done.