verbingnouns

The Cheese Stands Alone

*Disclaimer: Honestly, I haven't had anyone make a snide comment about my singleness in several months, so I'm taking this oportunity to mention it while I'm not irritated about it.*
I'm not usually one to talk about being single (other than my reference to it on my blog intro, which I often consider removing) but I recently read a piece that Erika wrote on the subject and found it quite good. I especially like the part about the 12 year olds and the bouquet toss: I've been there. I've heard a lot of rude and insensitive comments made to myself and other single girls which I thought were entirely unhelpful and unkind. Single people are not freaks (well, not all of us, anyway). Try not to make us feel like we are.
I get irritated by single people who whine about their singleness just like everyone else does. I believe complaining is a sin (and a very unattractive one at that) for single people just like it is for married people. Contentment is key.
I'm not uncomfortable with myself. I don't usually mind going to parties alone when everyone else is there with their spouse or significant other. I'm happy...really. I'm not saying I want to be single forever. It is possible for me to be content where I am and to desire something else for my future.
I'm usually hesitant to discuss my singleness because I don't want to be thought of as one of those girls who sits around stocking her hope chest and feeling sorry for herself. I try not to appear terribly sensitive about the subject because the last thing I want is people pitying me, but the fact is, I am sensitive about it in some ways. I don't sit around mourning my singleness. I don't think about it every day. I don't mind talking about it with my family or people who actually know me.
Don't feel bad if you've mentioned my singleness to me before. I am single and I am aware of it. I realize that most people who ask about it are generally just trying to make conversation and just don't consider the fact that it's kind of personal. I have been through times though, when I was very sensitive about it and people constantly mentioning it was the last thing I wanted. I'm not saying you should walk on egg-shells around single girls just in case they're ultra-sensitive. Of course, if a girl is overly sensitive, it's her own sin problem: she needs to toughen up, be content with where God has her, and not be so easily upset. But it's sort of like asking an infertile woman when she is going to have a baby...it's probably not her favorite topic for discussion.
I know this post doesn't make me sound like I'm content or happy being single. Believe me when I say that I am. I'm just taking this time to remind people to treat single girls with respect and dignity. Don't pity us and don't walk on egg-shells around us and if you think I or some other single girl you know is too sensitive about it, discuss it with us in private. If you have some constructive criticism that you feel is necessary to make, offer it in kindness. Snide comments are not the best way to deal with your sisters in Christ.