It is hard to write right now,
there are a lot of things going through my mind.
A part of me wishes silence
But a small drive inside of me urges me to write.
..
Tonight I went on a date with a friend, er guy I know. Of course he is my friend, but him having said he wanted more than that, I find myself reacting very differently than I ever have before.
I think that the time I've had between an intensely dedicated long-term relationship and the slurred experiences of dating for the past two years, has allowed me to finally gain my bearings.
My opinion of what I want and need out of a man are coming out of what I want and need of myself, and to be happy.
I'm sure that it will change more as I progress and grow older.
I think I'm finally starting to realize that the love worth keeping, worth holding on to, just... happens. It shouldn't be something forced or worried over. It seems to work its way in, like silk against the skin.
Don't ask me to explain the way I will know its there,
all I know is when it is -not- there..